


The Irony of Bubblemates

by ros3bud009



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dream bubble/afterlife, M/M, Roommates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-05-13
Updated: 2011-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-19 09:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 68,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ros3bud009/pseuds/ros3bud009
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dave realizes that having Tavros as a bubblemate is stupid in the most ironically enjoyable way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which Dave realizes that the situation is stupid in the most ironically enjoyable way

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case it wasn't clear, this is a fanfiction written about the life of doomed Dave and Tavros making it work as roommates. For now it is rated about pg-13 for swearing, sexual conversations, and violence. It is possible the rating will be bumped up later on.

 This was stupid. It was not even ironically stupid. It was stupid in a way that could be compared to the physical pain felt when looking through a computer screen at the stupidest thing ever and feeling that particular embarrassment for some poor sap that he had never met and never would.

Except that the poor sap was in his room.

That poor sap and he were living in a place where, so far as he was aware, time would never end and they would always both be there.

It was stupid to the point where, were he a weaker man, Dave would have considered seeing if it was possible to commit suicide even though he had already died. At this rate, he would be brain dead by morning.

Well, the closest thing to morning that one could have in a bubble made of memories that was floating in nothingness where space and time did not mean shit and the only populace were dead people and a fairy troll running around like the tour guide of death.

Considering post-death suicide definitely was looking more and more like a viable option.

“Uh, so,” the troll standing in his bedroom asked after the fairy troll – Aradia, right? – left to do whatever was on her agenda next. He shifted from one foot to the other awkwardly, although for a moment a flash of what looked like a smile tugged at his lips. Anyone could tell the guy was feeling nervous.

Dave just stared at him and waited. No way was he helping this semi-retarded troll make this any less awkward. He came here to bring the sick fires, and he was going to have to actually start them if he wanted Dave to even consider giving a shit about them.

More shifting.

“Uh.”

Now it was shifting from vaguely amusing to just damn painful. The loser really needed some help here.

“Look, Travis--”

“Tavros.”

“Whatever. Are you somehow incapable of coming up with your shitty rhymes without the company of another troll around or something?” Dave inquired. “Do you draw your tiny vocabulary through some sort of telepathic troll link?”

“Uhhhhh, what, no way,” came the reply as Tavros straightened his back up from where it had bowed when he was stumbling for words. His blank, dead eyes were creepy in an old b-movie sort of way. Dave assumed his probably were just as bad. “All my sick fires are, uh, homegrown! Er, well maybe not grown, but uh, home-started. They’re all trademarked to Me, Myself, and uh, Not You Or Anyone Else.”

Dave shrugged. “Right.”

“You’re just totally impressed, right?”

“You know, your waxing romantic about your boner for me was more impressive than your trying to convince me that you are any good at rap battles.”

And there was the face that Dave had never had the chance to see through the brown font and funky choice is writing style; Tavros blinked and then, as it sunk in, he looked every bit the embodiment of sheer awkwardness and embarrassment.

“Uh. Can we not do that again?”

“Talk about your passion to finally get your desperate little grey fingers around my throbbing symbol of boyhood?”

Being grey and all, Dave was not sure if it was possible for a troll to blush. But assuming that there was no other reason for Tavros’ face to slowly turn a brownish color, that unasked question was answered without a word.

“Dave, that is really something I’d rather, uh, not talk about.”

The boy shrugged and turned to leave the room. “Didn’t know you were so shy about your desperation for me that’s so strong you had to seek me out after death. But being the generous soul I am, I won’t force you to confront your hunger for my man-sausage.”

Tavros followed him out of the room, stumbling over his own feet but managing to keep his balance. “Whoa, wait, stop saying that like it’s the truth.”

“You can’t even stand to not be in a different room than me. The evidence speaks for itself.”

The footsteps behind him stilled. “I, uhhhh, I can definitely not be in the same room. I am so super ok with being alone.” The declaration was ignored. Dave made it to the TV and sat down, deciding that what he really needed right now was to forget everything and just immerse himself in some mad virtual boarding.

It was not long though until Tavros could no longer stand the awkwardness of standing in the apartment by himself. It was then that he did the most ridiculous run-and-jump-to-land-on-a-couch-like-a-smooth-motherfucker that Dave had ever seen. He tripped over his own feet – Jegus, did all trolls have terrible control of their feet? – and fell face-first, resulting in those huge ass horns ripping into the couch and burying themselves deep into the cushions. This stopped them dead in their tracks, causing Tavros’ body that was still under the whims of inertia to flip over them and he landed on his back. His ankles hit the arm of the couch and Tavros yelped loudly. However, when he reached down to cradle his injured appendages, he could not reach since his horns were still hooked into the fabric and refused to let him lift his head off the couch. In fact, as it was his back was arched and his neck cricked at an odd angle as the horns seemed to have tangled with the metal springs, refusing to move from standing perpendicular to the couch surface.

Dave could not help the snort that escaped him. If he had recorded it, no doubt the video would have been the most watched on youtube within hours. Assuming that youtube still existed. Or that there was anyone to view it.

After a round of game play – riding pixilated rails until the skateboard got caught on nothing and simply continued to grind on a single spot, gaining points like they were mating rabbits and refusing to relent until Dave restarted the game – and Tavros awkwardly stuttered out requests for assistance – mixed in with terrible raps that were meant to hurt Dave’s pride as a man as well as his goat’s – Dave finally got up and helped Tavros escape the clutches of the evil couch.

Dave did not taunt Tavros about proceeding to sit next to him like a puppy that could not even conceive of the idea of being alone or anywhere that his master was not. Although, being able to use the phrase master and use it to troll the awkward troll next to him was tempting.

Instead he just played and explained the game to Tavros as he started a new round. Of course, Dave made sure to be as condescending about it as possible. In turn, Tavros managed a few choice jabs over the ridiculousness of the game. Trolls just did not understand the concept of ironically enjoying things that should not be enjoyable.

It was stupid, but Dave was starting to consider that this was an acceptable level of stupidity.

Tavros was terrible at rapping, he was the worse troll in all existence, and he had ruined Dave’s memory couch. He was the worse bubble-mate that a dead guy could ever fear to have. He seemed to have some unspoken decision that he was going to stay in Dave’s bubble for a while.

And he was ironically enjoyable company.

 --------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re garbage at this.”

“Wha—no, I uh, shut up! I’m learning!”

“It’s been two hours and you only have a thousand points.”

Tavros frowned and stared at the screen intently, attempting to mash the buttons under his thumbs again. There was a jump, a spin, and then bright red pixels bursting out randomly as the virtual skater’s face became acquainted with the concrete for the umpteenth time. “Uhhh.”

“Total garbage.”

“No, give me a second! I, uh, totally almost have a hang of it,” Tavros swore. “Uh, you’ll see. I’ll grind some serious rail and you know, be so sick that the game will do that uh, well, that thing where it stops but doesn’t--”

“Glitch.”

“Yeah! I’ll, uh, make it glitch so hard!”

Dave shrugged and replied, “Whatever. Just tell me when you’re done humiliating yourself and I can show you how to really glitch a game out.”

There was no response as the troll boy focused all his attention on the screen. So serious was Tavros about succeeding, proving that he could figure out the game controller. His lips were drawn tight and occasionally he would nibble on his bottom lip with teeth that looked like they belonged on a savage beast, and not a failure of a troll that could not figure out how to work a controller.

But sharp teeth were not on Dave’s mind. While he did not mean to, Dave couldn’t help watching Tavros’ dead eyes when the other was not looking. They were frankly really weird. It was not like they were a white slate where eyes used to be; they were still spherical and creepily enough moved like any normal eye would. However, without any iris or pupil, there was no way to tell where Tavros was looking. The most Dave could figure out was that the troll’s gaze was moving left or right, up or down.

Whereas before Dave compared them to b-movie quality, now they were quickly rising to the stuff of zombie-movies from the last couple of years.

It probably did not bother Tavros since he could not see his own eyes and never saw Dave’s anyway, what with the sunglasses.

But it was starting to bother Dave.

“Tavros.”

 “Mm?” The troll kept playing, and as far as Dave could tell he did not glance over.

“I’m gonna go find a sharpie and draw some pupils on your eyes, alright?”

The glassy eyes swiveled, and now Dave knew that the troll was looking at him. It helped that his eyes grew wider and his brows shifted between raised and furrowed. “What?”

“Sharpie. Draw pupils in your eyes. Not too difficult a concept to understand.”

“Uh, well, I think I object to things going in my eyes.” Tavros shifted and scooted a couple inches away. Dave made sure to keep his perfect poker face in place as he shifted to close the gap and more. It was simply too easy.

“It’s not like it’s a big deal. Just need to hold your eyes open while I color them in. I’ll even let you choose what they look like,” Dave stated as he moved, as if to touch Tavros’ eye. The troll jolted and fell backwards, rolling away as he stuttered out objections.

Just like that, Dave picked up the now discarded game controller and made himself comfortable against the couch.

It took a full minute before Tavros finally asked quietly, “Uh, Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“You weren’t, uhh, serious, were you? You were just messing with me.”

Dave slid the virtual skater up a ramp and angled it just right to get the board stuck on nothing. With the slightest grin he glanced over at Tavros. “Yup. It was really too easy.”

Tavros’ reaction had been estimated by what behavior Dave had already observed, and he had predicted the outcome. However, what Dave had not predicted was the felt-covered rump that collided with his face with surprising strength. He could not help flinching and batting it away. “What the hell?!”

“I’m so going to, uh, get you back for that,” Tavros insisted as he slowly crawled over to sit next to Dave again.

“That was your idea of revenge? A puppet rump to the face? Felt dong to the noggin?”

“That’s only the beginning! Uhhh, I’m gonna draw big, dumb looking girl eyes on your eyes when you’re, you know, sleeping or something,” Tavros explained. “The biggest, dumbest girl eyes! They’ll, uh, be rainbow colored and uhhh, have big lashes and stuff!”

“Dude, that’s harsh.”

“Oh yeah. It’ll, you know, be uh, the harshest.”

“I mean, wow, eyelashes on my eyeballs? Talk about shitty,” Dave continued. The skater was still spinning in circles like a dancer in a music box on steroids. Tavros laughed a bit, and it was not as annoying as Dave had thought it would be.

“Dave, you’ll, uh, have the shittiest eyes. Uhhh, that’s a promise!”

The boy smirked as he restarted the game and handed the controller back to the troll.

“I look forward to it.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“Dave, uh, I’m gonna have some food from your, um, what do you call it again?”

“What’s your phrase for it?”

“Uhh, the thermal hull?”

“You mean the fridge?”

“Uh, I dunno, sure?”

“Would calling it a refrigerator help?”

“Oh. Yeah, that uh, that makes sense. I didn’t know that, you know, you were so sophisticated.”

“…Sure. Anyway, I wouldn’t suggest you open that--”

“Wha—Oh goguahhhhh!”

“Put the swords back when you’re done screaming like a little girl, ok?”


	2. In which Tavros gets to enjoy running and Dave finds a use for his ironic pajamas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3: In which Tavros gets to enjoy running and Dave gets scraped knees  
> +
> 
> Part 4: In which Tavros is a clinger and Dave finds a use for his ironic pajamas

The two did not always have something to talk about. In fact, it was rare for them to have long, continuous conversations since they did not have much in common, and what they did have in common they did not want to talk about. It was a lifetime that had passed them both by.

Dave did not like to think about the fact that reality was existing with a Dave, and that Dave was not him.

Whatever worries Tavros had went unspoken, but there must have been something since he did not bring up his life that had passed.

Dave could have asked about being a troll from troll-world, but he found that he did not really care. Tavros in turn only expressed interest in the worlds of the video games that Dave played. Neither seemed to want to think about the reality they were not a part of anymore, let alone talk about it.

It definitely did not help that everywhere Dave looked, there were Bro’s posters and puppets laying around, as if waiting for their owner to return.

He was not sure which was weirder: that he was not a part of reality anymore, or that Bro was not either.

Maybe eventually Dave would want to leave the apartment and check out the new world of living in a bubble. Check out other bubbles that bumped into theirs. Or, well, Dave’s that Tavros was bumming around in.

But for now Dave was alright with playing endless video games and Tavros seemed satisfied watching.

Why rock the boat?

 ------------------------------------------

The first of the pair to finally tilt the boat just a bit was not Dave, but Tavros.

“Uh, Dave?”

Dave was in his room setting up his turntables for a rad jamfest. Even video games had that point where enough was enough, and churning out ill rhymes was always a good way to pass the time, even if time did not matter anymore. With a sigh he moved to his door and leaned out to see what the troll was up to. Hopefully he had not ruined more of Dave’s bubble furniture.

Tavros was standing by the window, his face all but smashed against the glass as he looked outside. When he finally looked over his shoulder at Dave, he had the dumbest grin on his face. The troll was damn near bouncing on his feet.

Dave quirked a brow at him. “You can’t be serious.”

“Uhhhhh, but I haven’t even said anything yet.”

“It’s pretty obvious you want to go for a walk.” Even if he had not already been positive that that was what the troll wanted to do, the way Tavros’ toothy – or, if one were to be more accurate, fangy – smile widened would have given him away. Dave had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. “Christ, could you be any more like a dog?”

Tavros blinked. “Do dogs go for walks?”

Dave decided that he did not particularly want to discuss the habits of Earth canines.

“The door is unlocked. I’m not stopping you. Go gallivant to your heart’s content.”

Assuming that the conversation was over, Dave returned to his sound mixers. A flip of the switch and the room filled with a simple beat. The boy turned some knobs and flipped some switches and listened as the beat crooned and hiccupped until it was perfect.

“That’s, uh, a pretty rad beat.”

Dave stiffened and looked over his shoulder. Tavros was standing behind him, not looking the least bit worried about how much he was invading the boy’s personal space. It did not help that he was taller by a good couple of inches and despite his pathetic personality he actually had some muscle on his still growing frame.

How he had any muscle on his frame was a mystery to Dave. He decided to just assume it was a troll thing.

For a moment Dave wondered if the two of them would grow at all now that they were dead.

“I thought you wanted to go outside.”

“Uh, yeah, but, uhhh, well,” Tavros stammered, shifting awkwardly. “I don’t, you know, uh, know my way around, and uh, stuff.”

With a groan, Dave started to turn off his turn tables. “Yeah, alright, I get it. You can’t stand to be parted from me, etcetera and so forth.”

“That’s not, uh--”

“It is. We both know you’re like a moon orbiting my dick. Just can’t help yourself.”

“Whoa, no, that’s not--”

Finally the machines ceased their humming. With that settled, Dave turned and walked out of the room, ignoring Tavros’ protests against any suggestions that he was drawn to Dave in such suggestive terms. For every protest, the boy would retort with exceeding more purple prose about all the unexpressed sexual desires that the troll was hiding behind his façade of bashfulness.

By the time they reached the elevator, Tavros seemed to have figured out that it would be best to just keep his mouth shut before his head exploded from all the blood rushing into it. There was no winning against Dave’s human innuendoes, and Dave never got tired of dishing them out. That awkward brown blush was quickly becoming Dave’s favorite shade.

Ironically, of course.

 --------------------------------------

It became blatantly obvious that there were no such things as troll elevators. It was amazing to think that teleporting could become old hat, but something like an elevator could have the troll stammering ceaselessly as he clung to the handrail, asking again and again what was happening and was it safe. In return, Dave merely shrugged.

Once the doors were open, Tavros tumbled out as quickly as he could, spinning and looking around. It was like when a bird got stuck inside and was trying to figure out how to get out again.

Luckily for Tavros, Dave did not have his sword on him to accidently impale him with.

When the troll noticed the way that Dave was staring at him with his brow perfectly quirked, he stood up straight again and stated, “Uhh, that wasn’t so bad.”

“You smell that?” Dave asked as he stepped out of the elevator coolly. “Pretty sure it smells like shit.” He walked past Tavros, tapping on the troll’s horn as he passed. “I’d almost be so bold as to say it smells like bullshit.”

“No, uh, that is the smell of, um, my totally chillness.”

“So your chillness is bullshit.”

“What? No.” If Tavros had anything else to say, it was lost as Dave walked out towards the lobby and then out of the building. Just as he had remembered it – concrete and asphalt as far as the eye could see, wide open sky, the works.

All it was missing was the people.

But Tavros did not know that. No matter how vaguely disappointing it was to Dave, the troll looked around as if the scene was something that was as far from normal as the troll was from being cool. “Whoa. This is where you live?”

“Yeah. It’s called a city. Heard of them?”

“Yeah, but uh, never went to one,” Tavros replied as he took note of the sidewalk under his feet. “And you know, those were, uh, troll cities.”

“Troll cities? On a planet of trolls? Pull out the axe, give me a few good whacks, shout timber and call me stumped.”

“Wait. Was that, uh, an innuendo mixed in with your pun?”

“If you want it to be, sweet cheeks.”

“Uhhhh, what?”

“Don’t worry about it, sugartits.”

“What?”

“Just shut up and start walking,” Dave replied. The troll paused, but that seemed to be all the motivation he needed. At first, Tavros just walked, albeit with the stupidest grin on his face and a hop in his step that almost made it like a skip. Dave was in a constant battle with the need to roll his eyes. It did not help that Tavros would ask about the buildings and the streets and the cars the way a five year old might.

His stammering turned to all out stuttering. The troll seemed so excited that it was hard for him to even figure out how to get his tongue to move right. Tavros was like a bundle of barely contained excitement next to Dave. Every stride was turning up the heat under the bubbling pot of troll excitement that was ready to boil over.

Finally, without warning, what was walking turned into an all out dash. Dave just watched as Tavros abandoned him to speed down the street, his arms pumping and his feet hitting the asphalt. Once he’d gone for several blocks, Tavros slowed just enough to jog in a circle and, finally, gave up running altogether to jump around. He cheered and yelled at the top of his lungs, fists raised towards the sky. Even from the distance, he looked like a child that had been informed it was Christmas, his birthday, _and_ the day he was going to get laid all rolled into one.

Dave tried to come up with some sort of insult about his behavior, but by the time Tavros had raced back over to him, panting and looking nothing but truly happy, nothing came out.

Even when the boy found himself enveloped in strong arms and lifted off the ground, receiving the hardest hug he could remember, the sound of unbridled laughter muffled any words he could have said beyond a grunt. All Dave could do was look, his eyes wide behind his sunglasses, and it was probably for the best that his eyes were shielded from how brightly Tavros smiled.

His teeth were goofy, but that did not keep the smile from being attractive.

It was only as Tavros’ knees wobbled and threatened to buckle that Dave found his words again. “Fuck, seriously, put me down, dumbass.”

Tavros just laughed and adjusted his grip, jostling Dave a bit in his arms as he did so. Dave made a noise that he would never admit to making or even being capable of making and grabbed onto the troll’s horns for balance. His sunglasses slipped down his nose, but luckily they stayed on his face. “Tavros! Get a grip on your ecstasy trip and put me down!”

“But I can run!” Tavros cheered. “I can run and jump and hold people up and--”

Tavros’ knees buckled and this time he could not readjust. The troll fell backwards and what little equilibrium Dave had while being carried was gone, along with some of his dignity which he feared he would never regain.

Even with what had to be a bruised ass and scraped arms, Tavros still just laughed and laughed, sprawled out on the ground and no doubt wiggling his little troll toes in his shoes.

Dave did not complain about his cut up knees. Instead he just readjusted his glasses and sat on Tavros’ chest, waiting for this mania to pass before the idiot could get up and do anything else.

Whether or not he enjoyed the view was a separate and entirely inappropriate question. Even if it were to be asked, and even if Dave were to answer honestly without remixing his words like an ill rap, at that moment there was nothing that could be identified as an inappropriate emotion.

It was simply nice to see Tavros happy.

 ----------------------------------

“So, you’re saying you were a cripple?”

“Uhh, yeah. Not like, you know, for my whole life. Just later. And um, I did have metal legs for a while!”

“Metal legs.”

“Yeah. Never really got a hang of them though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Stairs are, um, really surprisingly difficult.”

“…”

“Uhh, what?”

“Nothing. Just enjoying the mental image of you falling down stairs.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“Well, neither was tearing my knees to shreds on the concrete because you were carrying me around like a lunatic. I told you to put me down.”

“Uhhh, you know, I am starting to suspect I’m not good at, you know… following advice and stuff.”

“Don’t tell me someone warned you about the stairs too.”

“Then, uh, I won’t tell you about that.”

“You’re such a fucking moron.”

 ----------------------------------------

It was only when Tavros had his party rest in the hotel to regain their health that Dave blinked up at the ceiling from where he was laid out on his mangled couch. As the little pixilated figure slipped into the boxy bed, realization hit him.

“Do we need sleep anymore?”

“Uhh,” Tavros started, turning his head to look at Dave; the boy coolly reacted and moved without a thought to avoid candy corn troll horns in his face. “What?”

“Sleep. We’ve been awake for a while now. I don’t even know if it’s just been hours or days. But I’ve never felt like I need to sleep,” Dave specified.

The troll frowned and turned back to play the game. Finally he said, “I dunno. I’ve, uh, never tried it.”

“Course you haven’t. I’d have notice you conked out on my couch.”

“No. Uh, I mean before I came to your bubble.”

After considering that statement for a moment, Dave came to the conclusion that there were two ways to go in the conversation now. He could stick with the topic at hand – namely sleep – or he could explore the reason why Tavros was here at all. As tempting as it was to delve into the troll’s thoughts, Dave had started a mission to figure out an aspect of living in this bubble, and he was going to see it through before he started in on any sort of psychoanalysis.

That was more Rose’s shtick anyway.

For a moment, Dave wondered how she was doing in reality.

What was it with this bubble and his thoughts always digressing?

“Why don’t we try it?”

“Uhh, what?”

“Sleeping.”

Tavros paused the game but did not turn to look at Dave just yet. Instead he simply fidgeted a bit as he said, “Why? If we’re not tired, then uh, why bother?”

“Call it experimentation.”

“I don’t, uhh, really like experiments.”

“Then you don’t have to try.” Dave sat up and swung his legs off the couch, getting to his feet. His arms were stretched over his head as he walked between Tavros and the TV to head towards his bedroom, saying, “You can stay out here and do whatever you want. You know how to work the elevator and the TV. Just make sure I wake up eventually.”

Instead of just continuing to play like Dave had assumed the troll would do, Tavros dropped the controller and started to scramble to his feet. “Whoa, uh, wait, you mean, you’re just going to go sleep and, uh, leave me alone?” he asked with what seemed to be pure, unironic worry.

It seemed that Dave had himself a clinger – just what he needed in his dream memory bubble thing for the rest of forever.

“Dude, I’m just going to be in the next room. I think you’ll be ok.”

“Uhh, well, yeah, of course I will be!” Tavros tried to backtrack as his dignity caught up with the rest of him. “I just don’t, um, want to be, you know, alone I guess? I don’t need company, but uh, I want it, so--”

Dave interrupted saying, “Tavros, seriously, keep that in your pants for two seconds, ok? Just find something to do for a couple hours. Christ.”

“Uhh, ok,” Tavros finally conceded, his shoulders visibly drooping. But still his brows furrowed, as if the troll was scraping for another argument. It was almost pathetic how clingy he was being.

“Is there, uh, things to do in your room?”

There was no almost about it really. It was just plain ol’ pathetic.

“Whoa, should have warned me you were a bit of a creeper. I haven’t even known you for more than like, a couple hours or a day or two or however long it’s been, and now you can’t let me sleep without getting up in my grill? That’s pretty intense,” Dave stated. Tavros fidgeted.

It was silent then. Dave was in no hurry. They had all of eternity, and if it took the troll a while to get his tongue to work right, so what? The troll needed to deal with his being a clingy bitch if this was going to work.

Since when did this even need to work?

“Is that, uh, unacceptable?”

“Unless I’m secretly a desperate high school girl and you’re secretly an attractive vampire who is in love with me because of the way my blood smells, yeah, kinda.”

“What? Is Terazi a, um, whatever you just said?”

Dave groaned and shook his head, replying, “No, no, Christ no. Just forget that. I forgot that such sophisticated allusions to human literature would be beyond you.”

“Oh. Then I can just, uh, hang out in your room while you sleep?”

“Seriously, Tavros, you’re giving me all the worst kind of goosebumps here,” Dave stated.

The troll squirmed, his sharp fang teeth digging into his lips. They had to be pretty durable if they were not constantly bleeding from self-inflicted fang impalement. Finally, after a few false starts, in a way that tried to be nonchalant but fell flat on its face in the process Tavros admitted “Uhh, I was kind of alone for a long time in my bubble, so uh, I don’t really want to, you know, be alone again for a while. That’s, uh, all. I don’t really need to--”

That, ultimately, was all Dave needed to know. It was still pathetic, and Dave did not consider himself the hero type, but this was something even he could deal with. The rest of the troll’s words were ignored. Dave took a note from his Bro’s book and coolly slipped his arm around Tavros’ shoulders – which given the troll’s slightly superior height, it was awkward, and really, Bro had it easy compared to this. But Dave was certain he pulled it off like the cool kid he was. Leading the troll towards his room was surprisingly easy, even if he was stuttering and asking what Dave was doing with every step.

When Dave released him and started to undo his pants, Tavros had an all out panic attack. The boy just smirked at the poor hyperventilating mass of anxiety.

“Hate to break it to you, since you’re obviously pretty excited,” Dave said as he shimmied out of his pants. Tavros was covering his face with his hands, his eyes clenched shut behind them and his face practically a golden brown from how much he was blushing. A snort escaped before Dave could stop it. “But I just happen to prefer sleeping in my boxers. You’re gonna have to try harder to get me outta these.”

There was a pause before Tavros peeked between his fingers to find that indeed, Dave was still in his boxers – red with white hearts; one of several gag gifts from Bro that Dave took to wearing since it was so ironic on so many levels of irony. Confusion passed the troll’s face.

“Uhh, wait. You wear shorts under your pants?”

Dave cocked his brow so that it arched above his sunglasses. “Please tell me trolls wear underwear.”

“What?”

“Underwear. Stuff you wear under your clothes.”

“Uh, no, not really. That sounds kind of, uh, weird.”

“…Motherfuckers.”

 ----------------------------------

The sleeping wear issue was quickly resolved once the human boy had his mind completely wrapped around the idea of this dorky troll in front of him letting it all hang out in his pants like it was no big deal. This in and of itself was no easy feat, but the boy managed it. Dave gave Tavros some of his pajama bottoms that he never wore and told the troll to change his disgusting un-underweared ass in the bathroom. The black bottoms with “Team Cullen” written down the side in silver were so ironic that Dave could not help the snicker that slipped through his lips. Tavros asked what was so funny, but the boy refused to let him in on the joke.

Next time he was going to make him wear the Slytherin ones.

After that one would have to be the infamous Sponge Bob pajama set.

Tavros was the perfect model for all the fangirly shit that Dave owned with enough irony that it practically oozed out of his drawers. No doubt it was because the troll did not know anything about what he was wearing, but yet they suited him so well, as if they were made for his ignorant body.

The irony was practically palpable.

What was more difficult and far less ironic was figuring out the sleeping arrangement. Tavros did not want to sleep in another room, but all that Dave had in his room was a twin-sized bed. Doable, but not without getting close enough that it was everything but spooning. No doubt that would have given the troll a stroke. While the futon couch could be kicked a few times until it laid out flat, there was a gaping hole it. Easy to avoid when sitting on the couch, but harder to do the same when sleeping on it with someone else. Not to mention he did not dare test the fates by giving them a chance to have the futon rip apart underneath his prone body.

There was no way that Dave was sleeping on the floor.

When Tavros said he could do that, Dave waved that idea off without a second thought. Cool dudes knew when they had to be courteous asshats, and there was no way he could let a guest sleep on the carpet. That was way rude in all the worse ways. It did not matter that there were no longer any old ladies within even the neighboring galaxies, let alone next door. The mere thought of having someone sleep on his floor while he slept in a bed made his ears hurt like they were getting the harshest pinching of their little ear lives.

Ultimately, all but spooning on Dave’s twin-sized bed was the only viable option, regardless of Tavros’ feelings on the matter. There was no refusing Southern hospitality, especially when it was of the cool kid variety.

Tavros did not really understand the concept but once the blanket was shoved into his arms, it was clear that it did not matter if he understood. This was going to happen.

Dave took his own sheet – they were not going to share the blankets since that would be a whole new level of potential awkwardness for the troll and maybe, a bit, for the human boy – and took up the territory next to the wall. Tavros awkwardly sat down next to him. It took about fifteen minutes of him stammering out how totally not sexual the whole thing was before Dave pinched his ass and told him to lay the fuck down.

It turned out that trolls did not really have beds. As soon as the words recuperacoon and sopor slime were in the air, Dave decided he really did not care at all. Tavros was sleeping in his bubble, and there was none of that freaky troll shit chilling here. The bed was going to have to be his new best sleeping buddy.

Tavros admitted that the recuperacoon had not been a very good sleeping buddy anyway.

The horns were momentarily a problem, but in the end Dave just scooted down the bed a bit, taking the pillow with him. He was still short enough that his feet would not dangle over the end.

Correction. The bed was long enough to hold his perfectly acceptable at his age height.

Dave really hoped that he was going to be able to at least grow up until his body was at some point past puberty. At that point it could stop, but this whole being thirteen business was just not going to cut it.

 That was how the two found themselves laying side-by-side in Dave’s bed, wrapped up in their separate blankets and making sure that their shoulders did not touch, even if that meant being in a slightly awkward position. Eventually Dave decided he did not give a shit and moved so that he had his hands under his head. His elbow bumped against Tavros’ ear, he made an awkward noise, but after that it was over.

However, sleep was not going to settle just yet.


	3. In which Tavros has a taste of what it is to be cool, Aradia gets an interesting view, and Dave gets a couple answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 5: In which Dave eyes could win the prettiest eyeball competition and Tavros has a taste of what it is to be cool  
> +  
> Part 6: In which Tavros is too hot, Aradia gets an interesting view and Dave gets a couple answers

“Dave?”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to, uhh, sleep with your glasses on? Wouldn’t it be better if you took them off?”

“Shades. And it’s fine. I won’t break them.”

“Uhh, but, wouldn’t it be better to not have to make sure they’re, um, safe?”

Dave shrugged and settled back into the bed. His elbow bumped against the troll’s ear again. “I can’t be seen without my glasses. It would let down all my fans. The intrigue is what keeps the bitches circling.”

“Uhh,” was Tavros’ response to that particular comment. “But, won’t they look like mine now anyway? It’s not, uh, really a mystery that they’ll be white.”

“Man, it’s not about the eyes,” Dave replied the slightest hint of disdain. “Everyone always assumes it’s the eyes. They were fine before I was dead. In fact, they were really rad. If you could have seen them, they would have given you all sorts of rude thoughts.”

Tavros shifted awkwardly next to Dave, pulling his sheets even closer to his body. “So, uh, I’m going to ignore the innuendo in there,” he decided. “If it’s not about your eyes, then uhh, why? Is it the glasses?”

Dave turned his head to look at the troll, but due to his horn Tavros could not just turn his head in return now that it was flat against the bed. Instead he had to raise his head a bit and tilt just enough that he could see Dave’s face. But the boy did not speak right away. Rather, he was considering the troll laying next to him. What harm could this dork do? Dave could give him all the dirt on everything, and Tavros would not even know that he could possibly use it against him.

Finally, Dave shrugged and laid back down. “I’ve just always worn them. Can’t remember a single day that went by without a pair of shades on my face.”

“You mean you’ve never, uh, taken those glasses off?”

“Don’t be stupid. These shades are new,” Dave explained. “Got them from John. His celebrity man crush wore them at some point, so he felt the need to send them to me for my b-day. It’s almost bromantic enough to bring a tear to your eye.”

Tavros gapped at him. “Whoa, uh, wait. Whoa. So you and John--”

“Stop that train of thought right there. Bromance and romance are two totally different things,” Dave interrupted, lifting a hand to make his point clear. “There is nothing between us beyond a rad bromance. No disco sticks are being ridden.”

“Uhh, what?”

Dave sighed and idly moved his finger through the air, as if to make a square. “Look, you guys have your weird quad thing, right?”

“Quadrants.”

“Whatever. We’d be in the one that’s all best friends forever and shit without sex. Got it?”

Tavros took a moment to consider it before nodding weakly. “I guess so. So you’re, uh, moirails? Wow.”

Dave suspected there had probably been something lost in translation, but it was not like it mattered. John would never know that their relationship had been defined by troll romance, so where was the harm.

“So, you wear the glasses because they’re a gift from, uh, your moirail?”

“Let’s just call him my bromantic partner, ok?” Dave suggested. The irony of the whole situation was killing him, but he managed to keep a straight face. “And no. I’ve been wearing shades long before I met John. Nothing cool starts with John.”

“Oh. Then, uh, you had a different pair before?” Tavros was obviously doing his best to keep up with all the new information.

Dave counted on his fingers for a moment. “Yeah. I’ve had about five or six pairs. Maybe more, since when I was a little dude, I wasn’t as careful as I am now with them.”

“Uhh, wait, you’re serious about having glasses--”

“Seriously, they’re shades.”

“—shades, even as a little human grub?” Tavros finished, looking no less confused. Dave could not blame him. That level of cool was beyond most people.

“I was christened with the gift of awesome shades from the moment that Bro came upon my sweet baby self and slipped a pair of pure coolness upon my rapt face.”

Tavros’ eyes widened a bit, as if suddenly he understood. “Oh! So, then, uh, you wear them since they were your first gift from your, um, human lusus.”

“Bro,” Dave corrected. There was a pause, but the boy did not let it last long enough for Tavros to get suspicious. “He’s my Bro. I guess he was also kind of my dad, so I guess he’s my brodad. But yeah. Bro gave them to me and they were pretty slick, so I stuck with them.”

“He sounds, uh, really cool.”

“You don’t even know. He’s the king of cool. Even with the puppets.”

“Uhh, right.”

“Yeah. He’s really cool. Though I guess now it’s kind of past tense. Huh.”

With that, Dave rolled over so that he was facing the wall and away from Tavros. He assured himself there was no reason for it beyond comfort. Definitely. It did not matter that usually he always slept on his back – when sleeping in the same bed as a troll, surely the rules of what normally felt comfortable when sleeping changed. It had nothing to do with not wanting to talk about his shades anymore. It had nothing to do with not wanting to talk about Bro.

It had nothing to do with the ache in his chest from visions of a memory that was not even his, but another Dave’s, of a body he never got the chance to mourn over, that was just so removed from his bubble that he was not sure he ever could.

Next to him, Tavros shifted awkwardly, and the sheets under Dave’s body were pulled as the troll’s horn pushed down on the bed. No doubt the biggest fail troll of all time that was behind him was somehow awkwardly laying on his side and looked beyond retarded with his stupid huge horns and his goofy teeth sticking out and that hair that looked like a throwback to a time that should have never happened.

The biggest irony of it all was that Dave had lived his life as the cool kid with the coolest Bro, and now he was some cast off doomed result from a branch timeline who was stuck in a bubble in nowhere and no time. To top it all off, the only person available to show any concern for him was an alien twink that was a failure even by his own species’ standards.

“Dave?”

No. No, that was not the biggest irony.

What was most ironic was that Dave appreciated Tavros’ presence.

The boy sighed and rolled back over, not giving a single shit for how close he was to Tavros now. Even as the troll sucked in his breath and awkwardly stammered that he could move back to where he was or even get off the bed, Dave just coolly slid off his glasses. The garbled words slowed as Tavros blinked at him, staring pretty intently at his eyes. Dave cocked a brow.

“So. They look as dead as yours?”

“Uh, kind of. But they’re kind of pink where your, uh, colored part of the eye should be.”

The slightest curl pulled at Dave’s lips. “Cool. I wouldn’t want to just have regular dead eyes. Just throw some eyelashes on these bad boys and they’ll win every shitty eyeball pagent.”

Tavros snorted in a way that almost sounds like a giggle. Dave mentally took back the part about his teeth being goofy in a negative light. They were still goofy, but not in a bad way.

Dave stretched out on the bed before lazily moving his hand, his shades carefully cradled against his palm. His fingers relaxed and held the shades out in front of Tavros’ smiling face. The troll’s smile faltered with something like confusion. “Uh, Dave?”

“Put them on,” was all that Dave said, making sure to steel his face to keep anything from slipping. Tavros’ eyes moved, and up close Dave noticed that there were faint outlines where the irises were supposed to be. The troll was looking at him and then back at the shades. Carefully, making sure to shift all his weight to the arm he was leaning on, Tavros picked up the offering and attempted to put them on. It was hard for him to manage with only one hand and with his ears not quite the same as a human’s. Ultimately, Dave had to help him out.

But finally, after some adjustment, the shades settled on Tavros’ nose. The troll honestly looked like the biggest tool Dave had ever seen in them. The shades did nothing to improve his painfully low level of coolness.

Dave could not stop the small smile from sneaking onto his face. All he could do really was attempt to twist it to look more smug than pleased.

“As a former Knight of Time, I proclaim you, Tavros the troll, an official housemate of the Strider kingdom.”

Tavros went completely still next to him. Dave was not sure that the troll was even breathing anymore. The boy was about to ask if he was overdosing on awesome when finally Tavros whispered, “Uhh, does this, uh, I mean, do you, um, do you actually want me, uhhh, to be your—I mean, no one has ever, before, in person or anything--”

“Seriously. Spit it out.”

“Do you actually want me to be around and live here and be your friend?” Tavros said in a sudden rush before going silent again. Even with the shades obscuring his eyes, it was easy to read the hope and fear crossing his face. The troll was at a complete loss for how to react, unsure of if he should actually believe Dave, hope that he would be accepted, or recognize how much he wanted to be wanted in any way.

It should have been heart wrenching, but Dave could not help snorting.

“If you’re going to take this position seriously, you’re gonna have to stop worrying like a sad sack of self-esteem issues. Trust me when I say I don’t hand over my shades to just anyone unless I’m dead serious.”

“So, uh, you really--?”

“Yeah. Now give me back my shades so I can catch some Zs, ok?”

What Dave got was more than just his shades. What he ended up with was a troll all but throwing himself onto his prone form, awkwardly hugging him with one arm while the other kept his upper body raised enough to prevent any horn-to-head collisions. Tavros was stuttering so fast and often that it all sounded like a garbled mess of syllables, but it was easy to tell that he was pretty damn happy. Dave froze under the sudden assault of affection, unable to think of anything to do other than lay there waiting for Tavros to get a hold of himself. His cool kid ways had abandoned him and left him to lay bewildered and unsure of what to do.

They were going to have to have a talk about all these emotional outbursts, and how that was not how one rolled in the Strider household. But for the time being, Dave just laid there and let Tavros have his moment. It would take time to teach the troll what was expected of him as an honorary Strider housemate, after all.

And, really, Dave supposed that it would not be all that bad if he never did really come close to Strider levels of cool.

 ---------------------------------------

“Dave?”

“Mm… make it fast so I can actually sleep, alright?”

“Uh, ok. Just to clarify, is this like, uh, normal human friendship, or are we bromantic partners now?”

“Jesus Christ, Tavros, just – stop with the labels and just go with it, ok?”

“But, uh, labels are important to figure out what we are, right?”

“Tavros?”

“Yes?”

“I made up the bromantic partners thing, so just shut the fuck up and go to sleep before I take back your title.”

“Oh. Uh, ok.”

“Yeah.”

“Uhh, so just friends then.”

“I am going to punch you in the dick.”

“Whoa. Uh, Dave, I’m not really comfortable with these allusions to black feelings—”

“Tavros?”

“Uhh, yeah?”

“Just shut up.”

“Ok. Uh, good night?”

“Whatever.”

\---------------------------------------

As it turned out, sleeping inside the bubble was not as crazy an experiment as Dave had vaguely hoped. It was not a trip to a dream self, or an encounter with frightening beasts of the universe. There was no travelling at all.

When he fell asleep, he ended up on memory lane.

Dreams were just memories. Not even the important ones really. They could be ones that had been long forgotten because there was no point in remembering them. Sitting at the breakfast table at the age of six eating Fruit Loops; pushing the grocery cart when Bro dragged him along to shop with him; an average day at school listening to the average boring lecture.

Everything that had ever occurred could be reached in sleep. This could have been useful if Dave could choose what memories he watched, but that simply was not how it worked. They came randomly, like dreams, only the content happened to be his life.

For now though, his mind seemed to be working through his earlier years. There was not a single flash to Sburb.

When Dave woke up after a simple memory of turning on his fan because it was hot, he sighed and shrugged. It should not have surprised him that sleeping would be so tame as to just be a skip through the memory fields considering they were in a memory dream bubble thing.

What he did find interesting though was that it was definitely warmer than it had been when he went to sleep. In fact, Dave was sweating under his blanket and shoved it off in disgust. Why was it suddenly hot like—

Dave groaned.

It was hot like it was in his last memory of the middle of summer. Of _course_ this bubble would change according to his memory dreams. Of course it would choose the last dream to be during the hottest damn season.

And of course, Dave was pretty damn sure that he was not going to be able to sleep again for a while. The boy was not the least bit tired and now he was too hot and needed a shower.

Dave was trapped in this memoryscape until the next time he could get himself to sleep.

“Fuck.”

There was a grumble from down on the floor, and it was then that Dave realized that he had the whole bed to himself. The boy sat up and looked over to find Tavros sprawled out on the ground and looking generally uncomfortably hot. His pajama bottoms were rolled up as well as his sleeves, and his blanket had been left to lay in a pile off to the side.

And he was definitely awake.

“The weather better down there?”

“Uhh, no, not really,” Tavros grumbled. “I uh, thought maybe if I wasn’t so close to you, but no. It’s still really, uh, fucking hot.”

Dave nodded in understanding before swinging his legs over the side of the bed and getting up. Normally he would laze around in bed for a while, but when it was warm like this it was better to get up and get shit done. First the windows were shoved open followed by cranking up the fan as high as it could go.

“Does it, uh, usually get this hot on Earth?”

“Depends on where you are and when,” Dave said with a shrug. He moved to his dresser to pick out a new t-shirt and put it on after he tugged his sweat-soaked one off. “Doesn’t it get hot on the planet of the trolls?”

“Alternia.”

“Whatever.”

“Not, uh, not quite like this, at least where I lived,” Tavros explained. “This really, really sucks.” He was sitting up now and eyeing the fan. Before he could make another move though, Dave tossed a tank top at him which gracefully draped itself over the troll’s horns.

“Change into that. Your shirt looks like it’s gonna boil you alive.”

Tavros picked up the tank that was, frankly, more of an undershirt than anything. But Dave figured that since they did not even have underwear, an undershirt would be beyond the troll’s understanding. The tank top was held up and inspected with curiosity.

“It’s not black.” It seemed like a particularly odd comment, but then Dave noted that black seemed to be the theme of Tavros’ clothing. Maybe trolls just wore black.

“Only dumbasses wear black in the summer.”

“Oh.” With that, Tavros put it down and started to pull his shirt off. Dave could not help glancing over, curious to see just how the troll managed to take off the shirt with those huge ass horns in the way. It turned out that the shirt material was stretchier than it appeared and easily stretched enough to get one horn through and then the other.

Putting the tank top on seemed to be more difficult since the earth cotton did not have the elasticity that Tavros was used to. The shoulders snagged on his horns and with his arms already up into the arm holes, it was hard to tug it up enough to fix the problem. When Dave could not stand to watch anymore of the pathetic display, he told Tavros to stop moving and let him do it.

It was not surprising that Tavros was grey all over, but it was still weird to look at. On top of that, the troll did not have nipples or a belly button. His torso was pretty much just skin covering muscle and bone.

Kind of weird, if Dave were to be honest.

But the tank top was eventually on and Tavros was left to change into some shorts while Dave left to cool down the apartment. There were several fans around, and luckily the memory was one from when they had an air-conditioning system that kind of worked. It did not go any higher than medium, but it was something at least. After a couple of tries, Dave got it running again.

A shiver ran down his back that had nothing to do with air-conditioning. It was deeper and more invasive feeling than that. Before Dave could consider why, there was a couple yelps from his bedroom. One of them most certainly did _not_ belong to Tavros.

Aradia was shuffling out of the bedroom, looking flustered but also amused. Behind her was Tavros who was finishing buttoning his fly, his face a deep, burning mahogany.

Dave could not help a smirk.

“Welcome back to the Strider bubble. Hope you’re enjoying the trip so far. I hear the view on the way in is nice,” he greeted. The female troll rolled her eyes, but there was definitely amusement on her face. Tavros on the other hand squawked.

“Dave! That’s, uh, seriously uncalled for!”

“Well, I don’t think that Aradia asked to check out your troll dick either, so we’ll call it even.”

“To be fair, I did drop in unexpected,” Aradia pointed out to the boy, obviously trying to mediate a bit. Dave shrugged.

“He should have been careful where he let it all hang out. I mean, unless you didn’t mind. For all I know, it really was a nice view--”

Tavros stammered out, “Seriously, stop!” as he moved to clamp his hand over Dave’s mouth. The boy was faster, grabbing his wrist; but when it came to strength, the troll was harder to fight off. The two struggled against each other until Aradia finally shoved them apart.

“Alright, enough! I didn’t come to watch you two argue like a newly announced blackrom,” Aradia stated with a smile. Tavros attempted to explain to her with an ever increasing number of stammers that that was not what their relationship was, but that they were like friends, but not bromantic partners since those did not really exist.

Dave just crossed his arms and asked, “Then what did you come for?”

“Was in the neighborhood and thought I’d see how you were settling into things here!”

“Cool. Once I get some pants on, I’m going to have some questions for you.”

\---------------------------------------

“Tavros.”

“Yes?”

“What did Dave mean? Wasn’t he already wearing pants?”

“Uh, well, I guess that humans wear these things called underwears. It’s like, a layer of clothing under their clothing, I think.”

“That’s pretty silly.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. But uh, he seemed pretty convinced that it was weird that we don’t.”

“Hm. Well, the more I know now. And Tavros?”

“Yeah?”

“It wasn’t such a bad view.”

“Uhhhhh, oh, wow, um. Wow. I don’t, uh, know what to say.”

“You’re welcome!”

\---------------------------------------

Dave went straight for the important questions. Now that he was a bit more settled, it was time to figure out what the hell this whole living in a bubble thing was going to be like.

“When we sleep, all it is is a stroll down memory lane, right?

“Pretty much. Except that since this is a dream bubble, it is affected by your memory dreams. This apartment itself will stay more or less the same as it was in your last memory of it, but the wider environment will change with your memories. But since this is your bubble, only your memories will make a difference. Tavros’ won’t change anything as long as he’s not in his own bubble.”

“So that’s why the weather changed.”

“Yup!”

“Are we going to age at all? Or are we stuck in these kid bodies for eternity?”

“Mm, that’s kind of a tricky question. You have some control over it, but you only get that control with time. If you think that you’re supposed to be getting older, then you will. But you have to genuinely think you should be older, not just wishing or imagining you are. So you have to know that time has passed.”

“So I have to wait for a while before I can think I’m supposed to be that much older?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.”

“Uhh, but does that mean that we’ll eventually be really old?”

“Not if you stop thinking about your age. If mentally you don’t feel you’re any older than you are physically, you will cease to grow.”

“Cool. Now, when you came into the bubble--”

“Let me guess. You felt a creepy, invasive sort of feeling?”

“Yeah.”

“That would be because I came into your bubble!  You’ll get the same feeling when other bubbles run into yours, only a lot stronger.”

“But it won’t bother me after a while?”

“Not once you see who it is, or at least that’s how I understand it. I’ve heard though that sometimes it doesn’t go away if you don’t want the person in your bubble.”

“Uh, so, I don’t think that I’ve ever felt anything, you know, like that.”

“Because this is Dave’s bubble, not yours.”

“Oh. Right.”

Soon thereafter, Aradia announced she was just making a quick visit – that she had to go elsewhere already – and bid the two goodbye before disappearing again. No doubt she was getting things done for the greater good of reality.

Dave and Tavros on the other hand did what selfish, not saving the world things they needed to do. Tavros went to go sit by the newly-discovered air-conditioner while Dave went to take off his pants again as he saw nothing wrong with the male troll seeing him in his underwear. It was too damn hot for decency amongst friends.

Perhaps it was easier to give up on reality than Dave had originally thought. There was a whole new world out here, and as dull as it was in comparison to offing enemies and rigging stock markets, it was new and it was his.

This was not alpha Dave’s bubble.

This was motherfucking dead Dave’s bubble.

This belonged to him.

\---------------------------------------

“Let’s, uh, do this.”

“No.”

“Uh, are you sure you don’t, you know, what to?”

“Yeah.”

“But it would be so sick!”

“No it wouldn’t, because you suck. Can’t even keep a rhythm.”

“Uhhh, that’s a lie. I can too, sometimes.”

“No.”

“You’re just, uh, afraid I’ll totally crush you under my, you know, totally ill onslaught.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. So does that statement, you know, make you want to now?”

“Let me think about that – no.”

“Uh, you didn’t really think about it, did you?”

“Nope.”

“Fine. I’m still going to go and get down with my bad, er, troll self.”

Dave finally tore his eyes away from the television to give Tavros a harsh stare. The shades did nothing to muffle the stern tone this look was taking. “Touch my turn tables and I will end you.”

In response, Tavros grinned a mischievous grin that was decidedly not a good sign for Dave. He took a step backwards towards the boy’s room. “I think I have your goat now. So you should, you know, consider giving in.”

The game controller was set to one side, but Dave still did not get up. “I’m saying this for your sake, my man. Better think this through before you take my lavish lady hostage. I will throw so many bodacious beats at you that you will come out of this with a crazy concussion.”

“Uhh, well, I think you should, if you want to that is, _bring it_.”

“It’s already been brought.”


	4. In which Dave gives cultural sensitivity the middle finger and Tavros has the worst migraine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 7: In which bubbles collide and Dave gives cultural sensitivity the middle finger  
> +  
> Part 8: In which Dave finally mourns and Tavros has the worse migraine.

The statement that the invasive feeling would be stronger when it was a bubble colliding with Dave’s and not just a single troll fairy was definitely a contestant for biggest understatement of the year. Dave had been kicking Tavros’ ass in a rap off when the sensation hit him. It twisted his gut and he physically shuddered with the jolt that raced up his spine. His hand slipped and the vinyl screeched.

“Dave?” Tavros asked worriedly, wincing at the horridly high pitched assault on his ears. The boy ripped his hand from the turn table and started to rub at his arms. The goose bumps were not helping.

“Just what I needed.”

“Uhh, what?”

Dave ignored the questioning look and instead moved to his window. Maybe he would be able to see a difference outside.

The fact that his apartment building, the street below him, and a few cars now stood on a cliff covered with green grass as far as the eye could see with a few dark buildings here and there implied that yeah, his bubble was getting extremely acquainted with another bubble. It was like the bubbles had already helped themselves to some weird bubble sex and produced a grotesque baby bubble that was a mix of their various components.

Tavros was glancing over his shoulder when suddenly he exclaimed, “Whoa! Uh, whoa, that’s my house!”

“This is your bubble?”

“Yeah! That’s my house and that’s where I practiced jousting and uh, well, that’s where I, er, fell off the cliff, but that’s not such a nice thing to remember, so anyway,” Tavros stammered, smiling despite the look that Dave was giving him. “Do you uh, want to visit? I can show you around, if you want.”

Dave sighed and looked completely unimpressed, but not once did he resist going down. It looked nice enough and how often was it that anyone got to see an alien planet, even if it was just the memory of it?

Not often.

\-------------------------------- 

“Your house looks like an architect suffering from Montezuma’s revenge took a huge shit.”

Tavros looked a bit hurt by the comment, but he tried to brush it off. “We make our houses when, we’re just little grubs. I think it looks pretty cool considering I was so little and, uh, had just survived the first tests.”

“Tests?” Dave asked as the troll led him into the house. Tavros nodded.

“After we hatch. We go through, uh, tests to see if we’re, maybe, worthwhile.”

“Intense. What do they do with the trolls that don’t pass it? Send them to retarded grub school?”

The troll shifted awkward before mumbling, “Uhh, no, actually, because grubs win by, um, surviving, so if they don’t pass, then there’s really not much they can do since, you know. They’re kind of dead.” The last part was rushed and so quiet it was hard to catch.

The silence was palpable as Dave stopped walking and just stared at Tavros. He wanted to believe that it was the worse joke ever told, but the look on the troll’s face said otherwise. Dave grimaced.

“Dude, prepare yourself, because I’m about to give a huge ‘fuck you’ to cultural sensitivity. That’s seriously fucked up.”

Tavros shrugged weakly. “Uh, well, I dunno. That’s just how it’s always been.”

“Then it’s always been seriously fucked up,” Dave insisted. “You don’t just off babies. I mean, offing anyone after they’re a baby is already pretty bad, but fuck, babies? That’s fucked up. Period.”

“Does it makes it maybe better if I said that trolls are culled way after they are grubs too?”

Dave raised a hand to his head and pressed his palm again his temple. “No. No it doesn’t. But it explains why you’re all fucking nutjobs. Who wouldn’t be when they could get killed at any moment for no better reason than just because.”

“Uhh, it’s to make sure as a species we’re--”

“Tavros.”

“Yeah?”

“Just stop. It’s fucked up. Period. End of story. Thank your lucky stars and prostrate yourself before the nearest deity thanking him for his mercy for getting you out of that steaming pile of fucked up.”

Tavros looked at him for a moment before, slowly smiling, saying, “Well, it is nice to know that I’m not going to, you know, be culled in a couple years.”

Dave, for one moment, considered smiling back even if it was completely forced and letting it go. But no. Cultural sensitivity had already receiving the biggest ‘fuck you,’ but it was going to have to deal with a nice, heaping serving of ‘fuck you’ on the side.

So the boy walked up to the troll and held out his hand. It took a while, but eventually Tavros reached out to take it. Dave pulled him and proceeded to give him the best intergalactic bro hug any reality has ever seen. It reeked of cool but deep bro support. It was the sort of hug that would have full grown cool bros weeping. Bro would have been the most proud. Hell, even Bro might not have been able to hold all the cool.

But, of course, Tavros did not appreciate the sheer coolness of the bro hug. He did not even give Dave a good pat on the back. Dave was merciful and did not point out how terrible Tavros was at bro hugging. It seemed the only brand of hug the troll could handle was of the hyperactive puppy variety.

“Uhh, Dave?”

“Shh. Only the healing power of the bro hug now.”

“What?”

“Shut up and just accept my gesture of ‘shit sorry your society sucked monkey balls, but you’re totally chill here, even if you’re socially retarded,’ alright?”

“What?”

Dave rolled his eyes, even though Tavros would not be able to see it through his shades. He pulled out of the bro hug just enough to place his hands on the troll’s shoulders and let his shades slid down his nose so that he would look over them. Glossy pink met glossy white.

“The fact that you would have been offed is sick in the worse way because there’s nothing wrong with you, even if you were still a cripple, and even though you’re still a total loser with the social skills of a--”

He did not get any further than that as Tavros scrambled to place his hand in Dave’s again and pull him into the most awkward intergalactic bro hug any reality had ever seen. The only tears shed would have been out of the sheer hilarity it would have provided anyone who had even an ounce of coolness. It would have made Bro die twice over from laughter.

The whap Tavros gave Dave’s back nearly knocked the wind out of him.

“Dave, I, uh, thanks.”

“It’s not problem, man. Just being a decent human being.”

“Then thanks for, not really by choice but still, being human, I guess.”

“Are those fucking tears I feel on my shoulder?”

“Uhh, no. That would be really awkward, and I wouldn’t. Cry that is.”

“Right. Just let me know when you’re done accepting the gift of humanity. Or when you take pity on me and how I am suffering through how not cool this is just for you.”

This statement only made the matter worse. Dave could not escape since Tavros had tilted his head to avoid slamming his horn into the boy’s face, but as such wedged Dave between the troll’s body and his other monster horn. He was trapped in the worse intergalactic bro hug in the history of every reality.

It was worth the universe of ‘fuck you’ that he was sending towards cultural sensitivity though.

Though maybe not the coppery stains on his shirt that Tavros refused to admit were tears.

“Just man up to it. You had a bitch moment.”

“I did not cry.”

“The stains of shame on my shoulder say otherwise.”

“I, uh, got something in my eye.”

“Yeah. It’s called big ol’ tears of self-esteem issues.”

“Uhh, it’s time for you to shut up now, if that’s ok.”

Luckily for the troll, they arrived at his room at that moment, and Dave found something of more interest to him than a couple stains on his shirt.

“…Is that a poster of a troll Peter Pan?”

\------------------------------ 

“That’s a bed?”

“Recuperacoon.”

“Bless you.”

“What?”

“You sleep in that thing?”

“Uhh, well, I don’t sleep well since my horns don’t, you know, fit. But yeah.”

“That’s just fucked up, man.”

“What? Why?”

“Look at it. It’s like you took a huge ass warm, sliced its head off, and then went on to sleep in its innards. Christ.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“But that’s what we all sleep in, so, it doesn’t seem weird to me?”

“We’re not taking one back to the apartment, so say goodbye to your decapitated bed monster.”

“Uhh, but it’s really not so bad! You should try, if you want.”

“No.”

“Come on, I’ll help you in.”

“Dude, let go of me right now, or so help me--”

When Dave shoved Tavros away, he did it with enough force that for a moment, the troll was put off-balance. He accidently overcompensated and whacked the boy in the face with a horn, which caused Dave to lose his balance and step back to keep from falling.

His foot landed in sopor slime which did not offer him the least bit of leverage. All that kept Dave from falling backwards with one leg hooked into the recuperacoon was Tavros grabbing him and managing to steady him.

However, it was too late to salvage his sock, shoe, and his pant leg from mid-shin downward. It was soiled with green goop.

“It’s official,” Dave said flatly as he placed his foot back on solid ground with a loud squelch. “I hate troll shit.”

\------------------------------ 

“I’m not even going to say anything about this jousting shit.”

“Because it’s so, uh, cool?”

“That was not the word that came to mind.”

\------------------------------ 

The two spent a long while going through Tavros’ house with Dave asking – often condescendingly – what things were and Tavros happily explaining. The boy had gotten himself caught up in a few of the troll’s games, all of which made him feel as if he was drowning in nerdiness. However, he was merciful enough to allow Tavros to bring a couple back to the apartment.

It definitely had nothing to do with the fact that Dave had lost them all and refused to allow anything to exist that Tavros was better at than him. He was also definitely not already planning out how to win next time.

Dave did not make a fuss when they then went on to spend hours out on the troll fields. Tavros was practically galloping around, feeling the grass and mud between his toes and obviously loving it. Dave settled for laying out on the grass and just chilling. He and Bro had not done a whole lot of travelling, so there were very few times that Dave have ever been in a place that was so green and mild  and soft.

The irony that he found Tavros’ home to be any of those things when it was on the shitty troll planet was not lost on Dave. There had to be something good about the troll shit, he supposed.

It was a nice break from the harsh skyscrapers and rough concrete and unyielding heat.

But when Tavros asked, Dave did not say any of that. The boy simply shrugged and said it was alright.

Tavros knew what he meant though. The troll smiled and flopped down next to him, rattling off about all his animal friends that used to be around – “What are you, Troll Snow White?” – and they just let time pass by as they laid around in the grass.

Dave realized they were like a couple of dumbass kids. Who lays around in the grass talking about animals and the clouds and whether that one looked like a cat or a lusus or a crow that got way too excited and tasted the sharp end of a shitty sword by accident?

And then Dave remembered that he was kind of still a kid.

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Oh. Uh, ok. I just thought that, since you said something--”

“Nope. Go back to telling me all about your furry little friends.”

“But most of them didn’t really have fur.”

“Whatever.”

\--------------------------- 

The chance to show off his home triggered in Tavros an unprecedented interest Dave’s life that he had had in his apartment before they had died. Dave tried to put that bad habit to rest, but the questions never seemed to come to an end. Every cutting remark and vague answer and general ignoring of the question did not get the boy anywhere.

Over the next week – or was it just days, or a month, neither of them really knew, time was as hard to keep track of as a squirrelly, greased ferret – Tavros would ask just little things since all his bigger question were flat out denied or ignored.

“What’s that on that poster?”

“Why, uh, is that little wooden human thing on the strings? And why in the hallway? It’s kind of really unpleasant to look at.”

“Uhhh, what’s this jar of yellow liquid in your closet?”

It was not even worth asking how he found some of the things to ask about. Dave preferred to not know about Tavros’ snooping habits. It was good enough that the troll could actually go and do his own thing nowadays, and the boy did not dare forbid him from touching his stuff if it meant returning to Tavros needing to be in the same room as him all the time twenty-four/seven.

In general, it was not a big deal. Dave did not mind explaining the blender or his sweet websites or telling Tavros to drink the yellow liquid to see what it was.

What was a problem was when Tavros would ask about things that were Bro’s.

Dave would shrug and change the topic. Eventually he would say that it was his Bro’s, and Tavros would back off, as if it was a touchy subject. The boy was not sure if it really was a touchy subject but he did not correct the troll.

He tried his best to ignore the fact that just by avoiding talking about anything related to Bro, it was pretty obvious that it was, indeed, a touchy subject.

But Dave was certain that it was ok. It had shocked him, and it was hard to accept, and even now it felt like Bro could just pop out at any moment and prove that awful vision wrong. But Dave could move on, could live without his guardian. It was not like he was going to sit around crying over it. Shit happened. It was time to move on.

And yet there he was, trapped in an apartment that was more Bro’s than it was his, and every time he was reminded of how these things belonged to the coolest dude that ever cooled, Dave felt gross. It was the only word he could think to use. His stomach would drop and there would be bile rising in his throat. He would feel wound up tight. He would feel frustration that he could not name.

Dave was always disappointed when Bro did not show up and grin that perfect smirk of smug superiority.

But it was ok. It was totally chill. Shit happened, and when it did, you moved on.

So Dave started to ignore things in the apartment. He ignored the plush puppets with their rumps all hanging out; he ignored the posters hung up everywhere; he eventually even stopped playing videogames, opting instead to mess around with his turn tables or go lay in the grass or do anything else really.

Tavros asked what was wrong, but Dave just replied it was nothing.

Dave was totally chill.

Until Tavros asked about the string hanging from the ceiling in the kitchen. Dave explained that it was a hatch that led to a crawlspace. The troll grinned and asked if they could go up. There was no reason not to, so Dave shrugged and reached up to pull the stairs down.

It figured that the apartment would be set up as he last remembered it before entering Sburb. It figured that up in that space there would be dozens of plush puppets ready to rain down on him. It figured that Bro’s final prank would be laying in wait, ready to poke fun at him again even though this time, there was no Bro waiting on the roof for him to duel.

All this shit that Bro had left behind only served to remind Dave that he had been left behind too.

Dave did not realize what he was happening until there was already a sword in his hand and cotton flying everywhere. Even when his consciousness caught up, he did not stop. Tavros was saying something, but it was hard to hear anything over the pounding of blood in Dave’s ears. Soon, all the puppets were sliced and diced, but the sudden outburst of rage had not dissipated. Everything needed to go. Every last thing that reminded Dave of Bro needed to be destroyed.

The boy could not handle the emotions that thinking about Bro brought up, did not even want to handle them. How dare these artifacts of the man’s awesome life constantly force him to feel them?

The living room was next. All puppets had to go, either sliced apart or grabbed and thrown against the walls, particularly at posters that would soon be shredded. There was shouting, most of which seemed to be his own, but he did not know what was being said. It could have been anything. Nothing could really penetrate the overwhelming anger that emanated from his chest out to every fiber of his every limb. If there was something underneath that rage, in the words he was yelling, or behind his destruction of treasured belongings, he could not see it.

Dave saw Tavros though, felt his grip on his arm, noted the ways his lips moved and his brows furrowed and his glassy white eyes were wide open. He was shrugged off, pushed off, shoved away. Dave was definitely yelling, maybe at the troll, maybe at no one. This was pretty far from cool; this was as far from cool as could be; it was hot and painful and it nearly felt like he could not breathe around the tight furnace burning inside.

The troll did not leave though, or even attempt to grab him again. Instead, Tavros was pressing his fingers to his head and what the hell was he doing, it did not make sense, why was Dave not grabbing another puppet to throw—

There was a jolt.

A flash.

Comfort like a cool, damp towel to a feverish brow.

And then it was gone. Dave gasped and stood there, not quite sure what had happened. But whatever had passed, it took his rage with it. Across from him, Tavros was groaning as he held his head, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

That was all Dave saw before the tears obscured his vision.

It seemed that hidden under all the rage were just tears. Sad, pathetic tears. Dave could not make them stop, could not hide them all behind his shades when they would drip down his cheeks and off his chin. He rubbed at his eyes furiously; he opened his mouth to give himself a stern talking to, but all the came out was the word ‘Why?’

It occurred to Dave that he was losing it. Maybe he had already lost it. Maybe he had fooled himself into thinking he had had it to start with.

“Dave?” The boy blinked, trying to at least be able to see for two seconds. It did not work, but that was alright because Tavros moved to stand by him, his hand gingerly touching his shoulder. His hand shook some, though Dave did not know why the troll was shaking. “Dave, are you, uh, ok now?”

Yeah, he was fine, totally fine, just having a normal freak out like any normal human would but it was ok, he was fine now, did not even know why he was crying when he was totally alright—

“No.”

It was becoming impossible to maintain any sort of dignity. Without his anger, all Dave was at that moment was a sad little boy crying sad little boy tears. Perhaps that was why when Tavros ever so carefully pulled him close, Dave let himself bury his face into the troll’s shirt, muffling his already nearly silent noises with a hand clasped to his mouth. This shit was embarrassing enough without having anyone else hear the sobs bubbling up and out.

Tavros was still trembling, but he kept quiet and hugged Dave close.

Later he would calm down and leave the apartment for a few hours. When he would come back the apartment would be mostly cleaned up and Tavros would be curled up on the couch, sighing and rubbing his head. It would take maneuvering, but Dave would find a way to sit on the couch with the troll’s head on his crossed legs, taking over the job of massaging his head as a small token of thanks. They would talk then.

Until then, Dave needed a moment to be a small, sad boy, and Tavros gave him that moment. And so he silently sobbed, finally mourning the loss of Bro.

\---------------------------------------- 

“You gonna make it?”

“Uhh, yeah, I’ll be fine, probably. Eventually.”

“You sure? You look like your brain is trying to escape out the top of your skull.”

“Yeah, it’s just, uh, a lot is in there right now and it’s going to probably take a while to work it all out. Really, I’ll be fine.”

“Alright.”

“How about you?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Oh.” Tavros winced a bit, so Dave just dug his thumbs against his temples a little harder. It seemed to help. The troll sighed. His eyes were still shut – they had not opened for more than a few seconds since Dave had returned.

The boy stopped massaging long enough to take off his shades and slid them onto Tavros’ face. “That help?”

“Uhh, wow, yeah. Thanks.”

“No problem. Used to be grandma Susan had migraines all the time.”

“A what? Who?”

“A really bad headache. Grandma Susan was an old lady who lived down the hall.”

“Oh.”

Tavros’ hair was pretty course between his fingers, but where it was shaved close to his scalp it was fuzzy and kind of soft. It was an odd observation, but Dave was looking to notice anything that was not what he had been thinking about for the past few hours or how puffy his eyes felt.

“So what was that back there?”

“I think you were--”

“Whoa, no, I know what that was. I mean that shit you pulled. What did you do, get in my head or something?”

“Oh. That. Uhh,” Tavros stalled for a moment, as if trying to figure out how to word it. “I didn’t really, you know, know what to do so I thought I could try to, um, commune with you.”

“Do what now?”

“Commune. It’s like mentally merging or something? It’s kind of hard to explain.”

“So what, you drop into people’s heads and slush around in their brains?”

“Well, I only really do it with animals, usually. They aren’t as complicated as trolls so it’s not hard to deal with what’s in their heads? I can just, um, let my consciousness mix with theirs for a while, and then they trust me and are my friends afterwards. Because we sort of know each other pretty intimately, I guess. And if I need them to do something, I can, uh, commune with them again and tell them to do it, and they will because it’s like in their head and, uh, yeah.”

“I did not need to know you were intimate with animals.”

“What, uh, wait, that’s not what I meant.”

“Sure. But anyway, you got up in my head?”

“Uhh, I tried. But trolls and humans are really complicated, so it’s hard to maintain any kind of bond and it takes a lot of energy to manage even that. And well, you were kind of, you know, really especially complicated at that moment, so I only hit the surface before the bond snapped.”

Dave quirked a brow at the troll, unsure of how to process this information. So Tavros was secretly some sort of psychic, but only with animals usually, but he tried to do it with Dave – probably because he was losing all his shit – and that must have been the flash. But after that all the rage was gone. That had been what was probably on the ‘surface’ of his mind, so where had it gone?

Unless—

“Holy shit. Wait. Tavros, did you commune with all my angry shit and then get kicked out while still mixed up with it?”

“Um.” Tavros shifted awkwardly. “Kind of?”

“Kind of?”

“Uhh, I kind of, may have, um, grabbed it, mentally that is, and taken it away and into my own head?”

Dave gapped at the troll.

“You’re telling me that this migraine is from all the Dave rage you’ve got on the brain?”

“It’s, uh, better than it was before, but, probably, yeah,” Tavros quietly admitted. It explained how shaky and pained the troll seemed to be after Dave’s angry shitstorm. It had been hard for the boy to handle his own rage, so imagining someone else having to deal it pounding around his head was painful to contemplate.

“Sorry, man.”

“No, don’t, it’s fine. I mean, I uh, I was the one who got inside your head, and, well…”

“Yeah?”

“It kind of helped you, so I don’t really mind.”

“Who says I needed help?”

“Dave, I was, uh, in your head for a second. I still have some of it swimming around in my head.”

“Yeah, ok, fine. It was a dumb question.”

Tavros shrugged and likely unconsciously nuzzled a bit against the hands rubbing his head. This was all kind of weird, Dave was not going to lie about that. But considering it was his fault that the troll was in pain, on top of everything the guy had done for him when he lost it, he could deal with this weirdness.

“Dave?”

“Hm?”

“Um, now can I ask how you are?”

Dave quietly contemplated that one. It was a minute or two before he finally said anything.

“Sure.”

“Are you ok?”

“Nah. But I’m working on it. Thanks to you, if I’m gonna be honest.”

Tavros’ cheeks turned that coppery color as he started to stammer about how it was nothing really that he needed to be thanked for. Dave could not help poking his face. It was warm to the touch and getting warmer by the second.

“Uh, whoa, what are you doing?”

“Poking your face.”

“But why?”

“Because.”

“That’s not, uh, an answer.”

“Would it make you feel better if I said it was because I found your weirdly colored alien blush cute?” Dave could not help smirking at how the troll’s face was flooded with blood until it was practically a burnt orange color. “Man, seriously, you’re way too easy.”

“Shut up,” Tavros grumbled, turning his head so that his horn bumped against Dave’s knee. “You’re the one that’s, uh, saying weird things.”

“Says the guy that was trying to get intimate with my head.”

The troll squirmed and attempted to sit up, stuttering out objections. But the blood rushed from his head and Tavros groaned in pain. Dave tugged him back down to rest his head.

The two grew silent, Tavros occasionally sighing as Dave continued to rub his scalp and massage his temples. Sometimes Dave would look around the cleaned apartment. There were far fewer puppets than before, but some were still in pristine condition and were all placed in the corner of the apartment. The posters had all been taken down and carefully rolled up, sitting next to the pile of puppets. Even from where he sat, he could see where tape had been used to repair the rips and tears. A few more puppets were actually laid out on the other end of the couch, but they were not unharmed. They were all torn in some way. But their sliced off limbs were laid next to where they were cut from, and a couple were already sewn back together.

The mental image of Tavros, his head pound from a Dave-rage-induced migraine, carefully putting away his Bro’s things as if in storage for bringing out again later, and even going so far as to fix the ones that he could, as if they were still worth something, was almost more than the boy could handle. It showed just how much Tavros was thinking about him and how he would feel.

Because hours later, Dave was horrified that he could have potentially destroyed everything that remained of Bro.

Maybe the troll only knew how he felt because Tavros had taken a dip into his head, but Dave did not mind. The kindness was still enough to almost make him lose his cool again.

But enough tears had been shed to last Dave a lifetime – or an afterlifetime – so he opted to ruffle Tavros’ hair and murmur a thank you.

Tavros smiled a bit awkwardly and replied it was nothing.

Dave insisted that it was pretty damn far from nothing.

Tavros finally gave in and said, “You’re welcome.”


	5. In which Tavros finds nipples fascinating and Dave uses the term douchenozzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 9: In which Tavros finds nipples fascinating and Dave considers his next ironic t-shirt.  
> +  
> Part 10: In which Tavros is pampered against his will and Dave uses the term douchenozzle

“Whoa, sorry, I uh, I’ll just go—Uhh, whoa.”

The boy blinked back from where he was standing in the hall. It was not every day that Dave donned nothing but his shades and a towel wrapped around his hips as he left the shower, opened his bedroom door to find a troll going through his vinyl, and then have the troll stare at him with wide, glassy eyes.

In particular at his chest.

While Tavros had been for all of two seconds flustered and ready to leave, he seemed to have switched gears to something more akin to curiosity. Dave paused, glanced down at his own chest, and then looked back at the troll. Yeah, the guy was definitely checking out his chest. Dave checked once more, but there was nothing new and different about his chest from the last time he saw it. He looked up again.

“Are you done ogling my boyish physique, or should I pose for a little bit longer for you?”

That seemed to finally draw the troll back to reality. Tavros blinked and blushed and his eyes swiveled away, although Dave noted that they kept glancing back. “Uh, wow, sorry, I just have never seen anything like that.”

“Look, I know I’m pretty much the most attractive being you or anyone else has ever seen, but you gotta control yourself,” Dave stated as he finally entered the room.

The troll raised his hands and protested, “Whoa, no, that’s not why I’m, uh, looking! I mean that I was, maybe, kind of a little bit, looking at those things on your chest.”

“Things on my chest?”

“Yes. Those things. The, uh, the kinda pinkish-brownish things.”

That was when everything slipped into place. Dave snorted and faced Tavros, lifting both hands to point at his chest. “Man, are you talking about my nipples?”

“Is that what they’re called?”

“You were checking out my nipples?”

“I guess if that’s what they’re called?”

Dave would have laughed if that would not ruin all the fun he could have with this. So instead he just placed his hands on his hips and slipped his poker face back on, quirking his brow just so. “Ok, look, Tav, I’m gonna be upfront with you, from one bro to another. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but that’s kind of super creepy.”

“What? Really?” Tavros asked, yet again glancing down at them before flushing and looking back at Dave’s face.

“Seriously. You don’t just check out nipples. You know, unless you’re interested in getting pretty intimate with this hot bod of mine, in which case we’d have to have a talk.”

“Whoa, wow, I, uhh, those are sexual things?” The troll was all coppery-toned all across his face, his eyes wide and his expression horrified, embarrassed, and flustered. Tavros’ gaze was glued to Dave’s face, as if he feared if he was not careful, he would accidently look at something really inappropriate again.

Trolling Tavros was no doubt one of Dave’s favorite activities in the bubble.

“Really sexual. I mean, jeez, I’m about to faint from how scandalized I am.”

“But, uh, then why are you exposing them? You should cover them if they’re so, you know, inappropriate.”

“I might have if I’d known you’d eye them like an old man in a stripper joint.”

“In a what?”

Dave sighed and shook his head. “Never mind. Just try to remember that my face is up here, ok? Not down here,” he explained, making sure to indicate his chest with his hand. Just as expected, the movement brought Tavros’ gaze back down again. Too easy. “Tavros, come on, what did I just say?”

“Uh, sorry,” Tavros stammered, ripping his eyes away again. Dave had to admit, it was actually a little weird to have the troll so interested in his nipples, but it was not that odd that he would find them interesting. It was not like trolls had nipples. Maybe later the boy would tell him that nipples on guys were no big deal. For now though, it was more fun to yank his chain.

“Whoa, what’s that then--”

“Don’t even think about looking at my bellybutton. Creep.”

“Wow, Dave, just please put on some clothes then. I don’t want to accidently look at inappropriate things!”

“Maybe you should leave my room then. I can’t really take off my towel when, for all I know, you’ll gaze upon little Dave with that kind of look.”

“No, what, I wouldn’t do that!”

“But you were checking out my nipples.”

“Because I didn’t know and I’ve never seen those before and, uh, I’m just gonna, maybe, leave now.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Once Tavros was out the door and it was shut behind him, Dave had to try his best to keep from laughing. Even when the troll was mortified, sheer curiosity got the better of him as he took one more peek before the door closed. There was no doubt in Dave’s mind that this would not be the end of this line of trolling.

It was seriously too easy.

\-----------------------------------------------

Life in the dream bubble was slowly becoming more and more like home. Certainly, it had always been Dave’s apartment, but the fact that it was in a bubble, that he was dead, that he shared it with a dead troll, and that the dead troll’s bubble went and turned everything outside green made it pretty clear it was not like back on earth in reality. But Dave was getting comfortable. He was getting used to never knowing how much time passed, being up for days before realizing he should sleep, and conking out with Tavros laid out next to him.

Despite his ability to not be at Dave’s side all day every day, the troll never could quite handle being the only one awake in the bubble. And, really, if Dave were honest, he had to admit that when he was up before Tavros and moving around, it was kind of creepy. So the unwritten pact to just sleep at the same time stayed in place.

Dave had eventually gotten around to releasing the puppets from their prison in the corner, placing them around randomly in the room. The posters were hung up and the gaming system plugged in and ready to go. Tavros was smart enough not to ask if this meant he was over it.

They were even growing, if just a little bit. It helped that they had both been on the verge of massive growth and change. Typically they would find what had changed when they woke up to longer limbs or a couple stray hairs of pure masculinity growing here and there. It still was not much – Dave was pretty sure he had only reached fourteen at this point – but it was something, and assured them both that they would not be trapped as children for all of the lack of time they had in the middle of nowhere.

Aradia would still visit from time to time. She was always observant, silently judging but what, Dave did not know. Sometimes he would ask about how things were going in reality, but she was always very roundabout when it came to that topic, and was quick to change it. When Tavros would ask about the other trolls, she simply said he would find out eventually.

When she was not dodging questions though, she was always asking them and telling jokes and even exchanging amused verbal jabs with Dave. She got along with Tavros too, and they would talk about things that Dave could not decipher because of all the name of trolls he did not know and a whole vocabulary of troll shit that he did not bother to learn.

When they were not sleeping or chatting with Aradia, they were usually lazing around doing the sorts of things one would expect of boys with no responsibilities.

But eventually they were bound to get bored and make up something to do.

That was when Tavros suggested that they should create some music on Dave’s turntables together. The boy questioned the we part, but somehow he still ended up in his room, explaining all the different parts to Tavros. It took some time to teach the troll how to work the machine and how to change the sounds to just what one wanted. Eventually Tavros had a handle for all the ways to alter and twist the sound, but he was still pretty awful at actually spinning discs. After his nails scratched a vinyl beyond repair, Dave took him off disc duty.

From there they started to mess around with ideas for their creation. They picked out the beats, argued for nights on end about the sick rhymes to use, and tested out their ideas. Hours at a time would be spent spinning discs and turning knobs and rapping.

Ultimately, their ideas – perhaps because they were not just from Dave but were mixed with Tavros’ wackier ideas – were far too grand for just Dave’s turntable. They spent time trying to compensate, and then considered cutting some things, but they simply could not let go of what they wanted.

It took a lot of thinking and silent struggles with his emotions, but in the end Dave was able to suggest they use Bro’s. It was not being used by anyone else anyway. However, it was another week or so before he actually touched the thing itself. Tavros waited until then to do so himself, likely waiting for that sign that it was actually ok.

It took a couple hours to figure out everything on Bro’s turntables. It was definitely better quality than Dave’s, but it was also that much more complicated. It was Tavros who finally got a hang of all the levers and buttons, so it was decided that he could deal with those while Dave took care of the actual discs and of course the rap that they had perfected.

It took several practice sessions and a few arguments, but eventually they had it perfected.

The next time that Aradia showed up, Tavros was practically jumping up and down with his excitement to have someone listen to their collaboration. It would be a mistake to think that Dave was not excited as well, but he made certain that it at least looked like he was apathetic about the whole thing.

It did not work though. After he and Tavros were done and Aradia had clapped and complimented their work, she was sure to specifically mention how happy the two looked when they were playing together.

There was a slightly mischievous hint to her smile that Dave decided to ignore. He already treated all her comments that alluded to any sort of relationship between him and Tavros that could involve bumping uglies as he would his own – ironically low-brow jokes. It was easy for him to go along with it for the laughs. Dave suspected there may be more behind her comments than behind his, but it was all shrugged off. Aradia was welcome to get off to whatever interspecial fantasies she wanted. If there was something that his more traumatic childhood moments had taught Dave, it was to not judge anyone’s fantasies because hey, at least they were not getting off to puppets.

Dave suspected though that Tavros was not as capable of letting such comments slide off his back. Most of the time he missed them altogether, and when he did get them he would stammer and flush and really just make it that much easier for Aradia. The boy usually chose to let Tavros deal with the messes he got himself into himself; the troll needed to learn to let that shit go.

But, there were special occasions. When a Strider was not letting shit go, he jumping right in and adding to it. Eventually the pile of shit would be so huge that no one could possibly even consider it to be anything but shit. Plus it was always a good time. So on occasions, when he was in the mood, Dave would drape himself over Tavros’ shoulders and start talking about the wedding they were planning and how really, the huge ass horns made such useful handholds when things got hot and heavy.

Tavros did not understand the concept of adding to the shit pile. Usually he would stutter and flail his arms uselessly before shoving Dave off, excusing himself, and making objections to Dave’s lies every step of the way. Aradia would give Dave a look and Dave would just shrug.

“You’re going to give him a bloodpusher attack some day.”

“You mean heart?”

“If you want to sound like a high-blood.”

“Hugs not drugs.”

“What?”

“Look, he’ll be fine. Little dweeb just needs to learn to take a joke.”

Aradia gave him an odd look before smiling. “Hmm, that’s true. But you may need to learn a little something too.”

“If it involves realizing some hankering for troll dick, you probably need to remember that this isn’t one of your late night fantasies.”

“Bone-bulge.”

“What?”

“It’s called a bone-bulge,” Aradia stated, innocently clasping her hands behind her back. “And who’s to say whether or not anything you learn has to do with his. All I’m suggesting is that you may realize that not everything is a joke.”

Dave stared at her for a moment before saying simply, “Sorry, you lost me at bone-bulge, and how now I have to rewrite all my scandalous raps.”

Aradia rolled her eyes.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s that and has nothing to do with not wanting to consider a world beyond your sarcasm and irony.”

“Glad we’re on the same page again.”

“Someday you’ll realize that I’m right though.”

“I’ll be sure to have my ‘Ask me about my trollfriend’s bone-bulge in my ass’ t-shirt ready to go.”

Aradia had the decency to blush just a bit before snorting and smacking Dave on the shoulder. Soon enough she was off again and the boy was left contemplating what font would be best for such a shirt.

Ironically, of course.

\-----------------------------------------------

“Tav.”

“Yeah?”

“What the fuck is this shit?”

“Uh, that’s a controller.”

“Yeah. And what’s all this shit here?”

“Plastic?”

“And what is all this fucking shit in the plastic?”

“Uhh.”

“Scratches. There are scratches everywhere on this controller. I’m surprised you haven’t accidentally sliced it open yet.”

“I don’t mean to, really. I just am not as careful when I get excited?”

“Whatever. Sit your ass down while I go get some shit. This problem is coming to an end today.”

“What? Dave? Hey, uh, where are you going?”

“Patience, dude. You need to get some of that.”

“Like you’re one to talk.”

“Can’t hear your shitty attempts at insults while I’m in the bathroom.”

“What? But you replied so you must be able to--”

“Nope. Can’t hear a thing.”

“You’re a liar. But, uh, oh hey now you’re out so I can—whoa, what are those?”

“Tavros, I’m about to introduce you to your new best friends. This is MC Clipper and his backup, Snoop File. With these bad boys, you’ll be the slickest troll around.”

“What?”

“Look, this is weird to do for another dude, so I’m only going to do it for you once, alright? Consider it my human kindness at work as I teach you basic hygiene. I’ll even be totally authentic and talk about you in Asian so that you can’t understand my insults while I do it.”

“Uhh?”

“But after this, it’s all you, big guy. You have to take care of your own shit.”

“What?”

“Now give me your hand.”

“ _What_?”

“Give me your hand so we can hack off those god awful claws of yours until they are blunt nubs that won’t fuck up my shit.”

“Uhhh, no, I really don’t think this is a really good idea, Dave, wait!”

“Tavros, you will take this like a goddamn man and just sit in one place—fuck, watch the horns!”

“Sorry, but this is really weird, why would you cut my nails—whoa, _whoa_ , uh, please get off of me, oh gog--” 

\-----------------------------------------------

It was a pair of clippers and two files later – not to mention countless bruises from Tavros’ struggling – but Dave had managed to make the troll’s claws blunt enough that they could not do any harm, even if Tavros wanted to.

Dave cussed out his clippers. Things just were not made for troll nails. It was going to have to be files from here on out, which was embarrassing.

Tavros moaned about how he felt like a grub again without his claws.

Sacrifices had to be made sometimes.

\----------------------------------------------- 

Dave realized that he should have never told Tavros about the thousands of pirated movies he had. He should have never offhandedly mentioned that Pupa was a pretty shitty imitation of Peter. And never, ever should he have mentioned that Bro had downloaded practically every Peter Pan movie in existence out of pure ironic genius. A grown cool dude downloading movies about some little boy running around in a green dress and being a fucking asshole? The levels of irony were unending.

Just because downloading them was genius did not mean it was at all ironically entertaining to actually watch the things.

Of course, Tavros was loving them with every fiber of his unironic being.

“Oh wow, this is so awesome!”

“Uhh, he still looks funny without horns, but whoa. This one is even better than the last one!”

“I’m so not crying, these are not tears. Something in my eye, maybe.”

Dave was ready to shoot himself in the face.

So, finally, he scooted up from where he had been slouching and braced his hand on the back of the couch, ready to jump over and make his escape. “Hey, look, you have a good time with your fanboy bone bulge or whatever. I’m gonna find something that doesn’t make me want to stab myself in the eye.”

“Whoa, I don’t, that’s awkward, but wait, but it’s the best part!”

“So turned on you can’t even think straight. I’ll leave you two alone.”

“But, no, uh, that’s not—oh man look, he’s flying!”

Dave rolled his eyes behind the safety of his shades and catapulted himself over the back of the couch to land feet first on the floor. He was considering going and seeing if there were any frozen pizzas in this particular memory environment. He definitely had the munchies.

He did not make it far though before he found himself face to face with dead eyes that could put Tavros’ to shame. And the dude was not even dead. Not really anyway. It was hard to die when you were a puppet.

There, on the shelf in front of him, sat Lil Cal.

It did not make any sense. Never, not once is the time that he had been dead had Dave seen Lil Cal in his dream bubble. He did not know why his brain left the dude out, but it always had. This could not be his memory at work. But then what was Lil Cal doing there?

It had to be his brain. Had to be his memory. There was no other way.

But when had Cal gotten there? He was definitely not there earlier.

“Hey, Tav, can you stop fapping for a second?”

“What, whoa, I’m not--”

“Look, whatever, your dick aside,” Dave said, turning to grab the troll by the horn and tugging it. “I just need you to tell me if you noticed him being here since we got up.”

Tavros flailed and tried to slap away the boy’s hand. “Please let go. And uh, what him? Is someone else here?”

“Yeah. Over there.”

“Uhh, where?”

“There. Lil Cal is right--” Dave stopped himself as he turned to find the puppet gone. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, and even removed his shades for a moment. But no, the puppet was very much so not there anymore.

But Tavros was now staring at him in confusion. “Dave? Um, are you ok?”

“Yeah. Fine. Lil Cal must be messing with me or something.”

“Who?”

“Lil Cal. He’s Bro’s main man.”

“But there’s no one else here except us? Aradia isn’t even here, probably.”

Dave looked at the shelf one last time before rubbing at his temple, muttering, “Yeah, fuck, you’re right. Must be seeing things. Weird. I’d never seen him here before.”

“Were you maybe, you know, thinking about Bro and maybe you were just thinking too much?”

“Just because a dude is grieving doesn’t mean he has hallucinations,” Dave replied, making sure his shades were on just right. He finally let go of Tavros’ horn. “Anyway, now that I got all my crazy out, I’m just gonna go find some frozen pizza – oh hell no.”

Tavros turned his head to look where Dave was staring, and promptly screamed. Dave would have teased him, but he had figured out early in life that most people found puppets moving around to be creepy shit. And that was just what the two were faced with as there, perched on the TV, was Lil Cal.

At least now Dave knew he was not the only one that could see him.

“Oh gog, what is that?!”

“Tav, this is Lil Cal. Lil Cal, this here is Tavros. He’s kind of a pansy.”

“ _Dave why is there, uh, a puppet sitting on your TV right now he was definitely not ever there before oh gog why?_ ”

The boy considered the puppet seriously. The little guy’s eyes never revealed anything, and they sure as hell were not now. Maybe if he went over and gave him a fist bump—

Just like that, the puppet was gone again.

Tavros shrieked.

“Dude. Chill.”

“Uh, Dave?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know if you knew this, but that thing probably should not move on its own, so this is really scary. Is this a normal thing for you?”

Dave shrugged, hoping that Tavros would not notice the goosebumps all along his arms. “Welcome to my life. In the afterlife.”

“But that was never here before.”

“Nah. Lil Cal never showed up in my bubble. I guess because my memories treated him like a person?”

“No offense but, uhh, your life was weird if that is considered a person.”

“Dude, watch out. Don’t insult the guy. He’s a cool dude, even if he is kind of sketchy.”

“But he’s a puppet and – _oh gog why get it off get it off!_ ” Tavros was flailing as the puppet plopped down right on his head, its arms looping around his horns and riding him like a goddamn bronco. There was no doubt that Dave would have truly appreciated the moment if it were not for the fact that he definitely felt a smooth, subtle gust of wind just before and just after Lil Cal appeared.

It could not be. There was no way.

Dave was not going to get his hopes up just because Lil Cal showed up. He was getting paranoid. He was getting desperate. There was no way, _no way_.

Just as Tavros nearly had the little guy in his hands, he was gone again. Dave did not wait to watch the troll curl up on himself and try to regain any sense of dignity he still had. He was on a mission, and it was to get to the bottom of the Lil Cal mystery.

Because he could not even consider letting himself believe it was _him_.

Once he found Lil Cal in his room. The next time was on Bro’s turn table. Just as Dave thought he had lost track, Tavros peeked up over the back of the couch and pointed towards the kitchen.

And there sat Lil Cal, smiling smugly, ever pleased with his radical self.

In his lap was a note.

Dave glanced over at Tavros – for a troll that could rip apart a man with his bare hands if he wanted to, he was incredibly and pathetically afraid of a puppet – before making his way in and picking up the note. As expected, Lil Cal was gone as soon as the boy took his eyes off him to inspect the note.

‘What’s taking you so long?’

That was when the boy’s heart started to take on a life of its own and made a mad dash against his ribs to escape. No. No, he should not even consider that outcome. It would only lead to heartbreak when it turned out to not be the truth. Hope was for masochists and Peter Pan, but not for Dave.

No matter how many times he told himself that, his body refused to listen. His fingers started to tremble.

“Dave? What’s it say?”

“It’s a joke. Has to be a joke. Fucking Aradia, I will kick that bitch’s tits in--”

“Hey, uh, Dave?”

“What?”

“There’s a note on your thermal hub.”

Dave actually froze on the spot, staring at Tavros for a moment as that set in. No way. No fucking way.

But there it was, innocently held by a little smiley face magnet.

‘Come on up.’

“Oh fuck,” Dave breathed as his stomach twisted and his chest grew hot. It could be, it could actually be, somehow maybe he had made it here, had his own bubble, was floating around out there and the boy had just sat here assuming the worse—

It was so much at once that Dave found he could not move from the spot.  “Tav?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going upstairs.”

The troll considered him carefully, seeming to be genuinely worried for his safety being alone in the apartment. No doubt for Tavros this whole thing was like a bad scary movie. Moving puppets, notes everywhere – if it was not something that the boy found oddly familiar and that brought on pangs of homesickness, he would possibly feel the same way.

But, ultimately Tavros climbed over the couch and rushed over to Dave’s side like a man running on the frontline. Lil Cal did not show his face again and the troll was slowly relaxing thanks to that.

“Uhh, are you sure?”

“I’m actually sort of having an emotional crisis right now, so not really sure about anything, but I’m thinking that’s the plan,” Dave replied simply, even as his cheeks burned a little hotter. If he was going to have an emotional crisis, better to be upfront and cool about it when he had already lost it in front of Tavros before. Maybe this would work better.

The troll in question stared at him with ever widening eyes. If he was starting to catch on, he did not say anything. He likely did not want to jinx it.

Dave led the way out of the apartment and started up the stairs. He tried to keep his steps even and relaxed, but he was pretty sure they were marching up those stairs with how fast they were going and how not in a chill mood he felt. Each step was a notch up the emotional ladder. Was he actually going to be there? Was this just all a cruel joke his memories were playing on him? Was all his mourning for nothing, was all the rest of the mourning he had left to do no longer his problem, was this all going to make it worse when there was no one on the roof but Lil Cal—

When he reached the door, Dave froze. He could not help the way his emotions were gripping him from the inside out. The boy would not say he was afraid, but he wasn’t unafraid either.

“Should I open it?”

“You’re the best tool a bro could ask for.”

“Uhh, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

And then the door was opened. The sun was too damn bright, but thankfully the glare was tempered by Dave’s shades.

He held his breath.

“Oh fuck.”

There he was. He was just standing there, arms crossed, Lil Cal slung over his shoulder. No blood. No sword through him. Just standing there, a whole man, and he was even smirking, or was it just a normal smile—

“Bro?”

“Hey there, kid.”

“Shit, you’re alive.”

“Nah. I’m pretty dead. You’re looking pretty six feet under yourself.”

Dave lost it at that point. He was real. Bro was right there and he was real and breathing and being snarky and he was _there_. It was hard to keep track of what happened in the next moment , but consciousness caught up when Dave found his face was buried into Bro’s white shirt, his arms wrapped around him and squeezing, feeling and smelling and _knowing_ that Bro was there.

Striders did not show strong emotions, but sometimes even Strider rules did not apply. Dave was pretty sure that thinking his Bro was gone for forever only to find him on his roof was an example of when Strider rules could go fuck themselves for a little while.

The strong hands rubbing his shoulders and ruffling his hair made it clear that Bro was going to definitely let this one slide.

Which was good since Dave was soaking Bro’s shirt with uncool tears and making all sorts of unironic sniffling noises.

\-------------------------------------------

“You’re a fucking douche nozzle. A late douche nozzle. You’re the fucking douche nozzle that finally shows up after the baby has already been shoved out and crying like a little motherfucker.”

“Sorry, little dude. I have a lot of little dudes to find and keep an eye on now. It’s a fucking Brady Bunch of little dudes. Got here as fast as possible.”

“I feel like a tool now. Can’t believe I grieved over your stupid ass.”

“That explains the battle wounds that Mr. T is sporting.”

“You’re lucky anything is left of your shit.”

“Considering all the other little dudes did knock off all my shit, I’m gonna assume that I have that freaky looking dude over there to thank for that.”

“Fuck, he’s still here, isn’t he?”

“Nah, he’s hiding around the corner, giving us some bro space.”

“But he probably saw earlier. Christ, bastard always sees me at my uncoolest.”

“Man, chill. He doesn’t know about the way you’re getting my shirt all wet with manly emotions.”

“Fuck you.”

“Missed you too, Dave.”

“You tell all the Daves that.”

“Yeah.”

Bro’s arms held Dave a little tighter.

“‘Cause you’re all my little dudes.”

“Shit, don’t pull the emotional shtick.”

“Can’t handle it?”

Dave did not reply. He took a deep, shaky breath and kept his face hidden against Bro’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be adding the Bro tag in a few days. For now I won't simply so I do not spoil this chapter.
> 
> Also, I suppose it is time to note that the reason there are multiple parts in each chapter at this point is because this fic was originally being posted on tumblr, where it is still being updated. I place the parts simply so I know which parts on tumblr correspond to which chapters here. If you're interested in following it on tumblr, you can do so at brodad.tumblr.com. I will note though that I am editing it as I post it here so the more finished version will be here. It may be worth your while to wait and just read it here as I edit it and clean it up.


	6. In which Bro yanks Dave’s chain and Tavros receives his blessings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 10: In which Bro yanks Dave’s chain and Tavros receives his blessings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a very small reference to something that is specific to my headcanon. The fuller explanation of it can be found in the below link (the first italicized paragraphs), but the short version is that Bro was likely in his teens when he found Dave, and seeing as the average teenage boy is not equipped to care for a baby, the older women on his floor likely took it upon themselves to help raise Dave. The brothers refer to the old ladies as the Old Birds.
> 
> http://ros3bud009.tumblr.com/post/4769558459/random-headcanon-tidbits-pretty-much-about-dave

“Jesus, you’re still here?”

Tavros jumped a bit before looking up at Dave, his expression revealing all his awkwardness and guilt. He stammered out, “Uh, yeah, sorry, I was going to go but I still get lost finding your floor and, um, I promise I wasn’t looking or listening or anything, since you probably didn’t want me to, and maybe it’s a bit more ok since I didn’t do those things and sorry.”

 Dave shrugged and reached out a hand to help the troll up. “Whatever. It’s not like this is the least cool thing you’ve seen me do.”

“I guess.”

“Dude, don’t leave me hanging.”

“Oh.” Finally the troll grabbed his hand and was helped to his feet. “Would it be alright if I asked how you are?”

“I’m just fine. My bitch moment is over. I looked grief in the eye and flipped it the bird.”

“That’s good, right? I’m really happy for you,” Tavros said, grinning toothily. Dave was starting to assume that the troll was incapable of being anything but blindingly genuine. He did not have a particularly cool response to that so he just said “Thanks” as he shoved his hands into his pockets. It was clear that the troll had something else to say though, so he waited until Tavros managed to spit it out. “So, is your human guardian going to stay?”

“Bro.” Dave could not help the slightest smirk at how the troll’s eyes grew wide upon beholding the coolest dude standing behind the boy, leaning on Dave’s shoulder like it was no big deal. “Just Bro.”

There was no mistaking Tavros’ flush as he was overwhelmed with just how utterly sick and ill Bro was. It was probably kind of ridiculous, but Dave had always been pretty proud about having the coolest family member alive. Sure, he was kind of weird sometimes when you lived with him, but as long as people did not know about the smuppets, he was the coolest.

And Tavros was definitely falling under the spell of Strider coolness. No one could handle this much Strider in one sitting without swooning.

His stammering was probably the worst that Dave had ever heard. “Uhh, oh, ok, Bro, I’ll call you Bro maybe, if that’s ok, uh, Bro.”

“Do it. And you’re Tav, yeah?”

“Tavros, yes, but you can just say Tav, if you want to, since, you know, I’m totally chill and down with, uh, it.”

“Cool. Nice rack.”

“What?”

“Your rack. It’s nice. Something a dude could get his hands on.”

“Uhh, wow, whoa, ok, I don’t know what to say but, maybe, thank you?” Tavros was blushing so hard he appeared to be a freaky looking troll Lincoln on a shiny new penny. Dave and Bro shared a hi-five that was so fast the troll did not catch it. Of course his Bro would come up with the perfect line that Dave was almost embarrassed he had not thought of. It was so perfect on so many levels. If he had not already gotten out all his bitch tears, hearing Bro spouting out pure gold again would have made his eyes watery.

But all the bitch tears had been shed, so Dave settled for joining in on the fun by reaching out to grab a horn. “Bro, you don’t even know. These things are pretty magical to the touch.”

“Dave, uhh--”

“Yeah?” Bro reached over Dave’s shoulder to gently run his fingers along the free horn.

It seemed that the double Strider horn grope was a critical hit as Tavros started babbling nonsense with more uhhs and maybes and sorts ofs than actual words. If the troll blushed any harder, he was probably going to pass out from the lack of coppery blood going to any other part of his body.

The moment the word stop passed his lips – “Uhh, this is really, wow, embarrassing, I uh, could you maybe, you know, possibly um, stop? – the Striders had their hands back at their sides.

“Don’t stress over it. Just messing with you,” Bro said as he straightened up and started down the stairs like it was no big deal. “Consider it a friendly gesture.”

Tavros was rubbing at his cheeks, as if trying to inform them that they needed to move that blood somewhere else, and at that glanced at Dave. “Really?”

Dave shrugged as he replied, “Why would he bother messing with you if he didn’t give a shit?”

“Oh. Oh wow. Uh, wow, Bro gives a shit about me?”

“It’d be way rude to not give a shit about Dave’s boyfriend.”

“His what? Dave, what’s a boyfriend?” Tavros asked. Dave did not say a word though since he was trying his best to keep his blood from even thinking about sneaking up into his face. “Uh, hello?”

“Nothing. Bro’s just messing with me now,” Dave managed to flatly reply before starting after Bro.

Tavros followed close behind, although Dave made sure to stay one step in front of him. “But what is a, uh, what was it? Boyfriend?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Is it a friend who’s male? Does that mean I’m your boyfriend?”

“No and no way in hell, now drop it.”

“I thought the Old Birds raised you better than that. Got to treat your special man with respect. Keep him in the loop.”

Bro easily blocked the sword that was aimed at his head in a sneak attack, and even grabbed Dave by the wrist, leaving him dangling from his grip. There was no mistaking the smirk on Bro’s face when he turned his head just enough to look at his captive.

There was no way that Dave would be able to convince Bro that his relationship with Tavros was anything but a couple of kids dating, whether or not they knew it.

This stay suddenly became a bit irritating.

And yet, Dave found he could not quite find it in him to worry about it. How could he when the guy he thought was dead and gone was now dead and here?

Dave could put up with a few awkward jokes here and there if it meant Bro was back.

 ---------------------------------------------

“So. You guys managed to fuck up the futon.”

“Uhh, I’m really sorry about that, since that was me. It was an accident.”

“It’s fine. Where do you sleep then? With Dave?”

“Yeah. He has to scoot down some because of my horns but, yeah.”

“You don’t say.”

“We’re not boyfriends.”

“Whatever you say, little dude.”

\---------------------------------------------

“Been playing with my toys?”

“Was that not ok? We sort of, you know, thought you weren’t coming back? And we needed your turntables for our collaboration.”

“Stop worrying. So you guys rap together?”

“Yeah! We made some pretty ill rhymes together.”

“I bet you did.”

“Bro. Seriously. We’re not.”

“I’m sure, Dave.”

\---------------------------------------------

“Why’re you wearing those?”

“These? My, uh, pajamas?”

“Yeah. They look like what I got Dave for his birthday.”

“Oh, well, they are Dave’s. He gave them to me to sleep in.”

“No kidding. Do you wear his boxers too?”

“ _Bro_.”

“Valid question.”

“Um, are those the underwear things? Because I don’t really wear those, which is I guess weird for humans?”

“Don’t stress about it. I have no problem with you free-balling it in Dave’s PJs if he doesn’t mind.”

Dave was starting to wish that Bro was not pro at dodging shurikans.

\--------------------------------------------- 

In truth, when Bro was not yanking Dave’s chain about Tavros, things were pretty relaxed. Bro would kick back on his computer or sprawl out on the couch to play some games; Dave would either play games with Bro or do his own shit; Tavros would go from one Strider to the other, although he tended towards Dave since he knew him better and, honestly, he seemed a bit intimidated and flustered by Bro. But it was pretty clear that Tavros was warming up to him. Once, Dave walked into the living room to find them playing some shitty racing game and Tavros was absolutely ecstatic about how he was winning. Dave suspected Bro was letting him.

Sometimes they talked. It was usually over microwaved burritos in the kitchen. It was decided that Dave had not noticed Bro’s bubble hooking up to his because the environment was the same for the two. Their memories were similar enough that it went undetected. Tavros filled Bro in on anything about trolls that he wanted to know about. Bro would occasionally tell stories about the bubbles he had bumped into and some of the weirdoes he had met.

Once, Tavros knew just who Bro was talking about, and after the story he left to go for a walk. It had to be weird being one of twelve trolls that had been left in the universe and then later to find out that one of the others had died too.

Well, likely she was killed. Dave doubted that she died of old age. But Bro did not know how she died, and even if he did he did not discuss it. Nobody talked about it with Tavros. For being much more expressive with his emotions than the Striders, the troll carefully guarded his personal sorrow and took it outside where neither of them would see.

Bro did not tell any more stories about meeting kids with grey skin, but Dave was suspicious there were others.

Dave asked how someone even found other bubbles since he and Tavros had not collided with any other than Bro’s, and they had been around for a while. The man shrugged and said that the fairy troll girl said something about the desire to find or meet other people making the bubble move before leaving him to figure shit out on his own.

The boy knew he was going to have a talk with Aradia about not only keeping information about finding other bubbles from him, but how she damn well knew that Bro was bubble surfing around hunting down Daves and never said a thing. No doubt she had reasons that involved him exploring and learning and creating and some shit like that, but that simply was not going to fly.

But for now, things were good. It was almost like home.

Well, both homes. It was like his home back on earth mixed with his home he had made here in the bubble with Tavros.

When that thought crossed Dave’s mind though, he slammed his head against a wall before coolly going back to spinning discs. All the shit that Bro was implying was starting to take root in his head. That had to be it. Making a home with Tavros?

That was embarrassing shit that should have never been thought.

But awkward yanking of chains and sentimental thoughts aside, it was comfortable. Days went by and everything was pretty damn good.

\---------------------------------------------

“Dave. Tav around?”

“No, he’s out running.”

“Cool. Come here.”

Dave shrugged and got up from the couch, heading over to where Bro was. His chest where the puppets were put during transportation was open. “What’s up?”

“It’s time I showed you my stash,” Bro explained, kneeling down to open a little compartment in the chest. Contained within were, just Dave’s luck, condoms and lube.

The young teenager could not help a grimace.

“Are we seriously going to have the talk?”

“Grandma Susan told you ‘bout the birds and the bees already, right?”

“Yeah. That was awkward.”

“Then it’s time someone told you about the bee and the other bee. Or the bee and the flower’s backdoor. Or the bee and the alien bee.”

Dave groaned and dropped his face into his hands. “Tavros and I are _not_ fucking.”

Bro gave him a shrug as he tossed a bottle of lube which Dave caught on instinct. “Not yet. But after this you’ll know how to.”

“Bro.”

“Dave.”

“ _Bro_.”

“Sit your ass down and listen.”

The next fifteen minutes were by far the longest that Dave had ever experienced. Finally, he was able to escape when Tavros came back. Evidently guardian obligations did not extend to trolls since it was then that Bro wrapped up.

“Just remember. Condoms. Lubricant. Thick for an ass full of dick, thin for sliding right on in. Got it?”

“Pretty sure it’s been seared into my skull, just like this scarring memory will be.”

“Cool.”

“What you guys doing over there?”

“You don’t want to know. I wish I didn’t.”

“Uh, ok.”

Dave shoved the lubricant he was still holding into Bro’s hand before getting up and making a b-line for his room. Bro and Tavros would not see him again for a couple hours.

The teenager was busy trying to purge his mind of all the information that he knew deep down would never be forgotten.

\---------------------------------------------

“Uhh, Bro?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to stay here with Dave? Not that I don’t want you to stay, uh, I didn’t mean it that way or anything, because you’re cool and I don’t really dislike you at all--”

“Man, just chill and get to the point.”

“Oh, yeah, ok. It’s just that, well, Dave was really sad when he thought you were, you know, deader than us, and he didn’t say it but I think he missed you a lot? I think it would, maybe, be nice for him if you stayed.”

It was silent for a moment, and from around the corner where Dave was hidden, he could not see the look on Bro’s face. The teenager had not meant to eavesdrop; he had just been leaving his room to see what the other two were up to. It occurred to him that he should have just turned around and not listened to their conversation like a creeper. But how could he go now when Tavros was voicing questions for the sake of his wellbeing in that embarrassingly straight forward way of his?

And of course he wanted to know the answer too, although he suspected he already knew the answer.

“Can’t.”

“Oh.”

Tavros had no reason to sound that sad on Dave’s behalf. There was no reason for Dave to feel disappointed, even when he knew it was coming.

“There are a bunch of Daves I have to keep an eye on. I can’t stay with just one.”

“Uh, yeah, that makes sense, I guess.”

“No need to look so worried about it. He’s better off than the other Daves. He doesn’t really need me.”

“But you’re his guardian, right? He sorts of needs you by definition?”

“Nah. He’s alright. He’s got you now.”

“Uhh, I think you are mistaken about our, you know, relationship.”

“Even if I was, he’s still fine. You’ve been keeping him company, right?”

“Yes, I guess so, but--”

“And when he flies off the handle, you reel him back in.”

“Um, just the once, really--”

“Tav.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re good for him. I’m entrusting the little dude to you, so don’t disappoint.”

“Whoa, I uh, Bro I really think that you’re, probably, a lot making a mistake because I’m just kind of a loser friend and I can’t really do that.”

“You’re not a loser, dude.”

“But, I mean, I can’t--”

“You can. I believe in you.”

It was quiet then, and even though Dave could not see, he was quite sure that Tavros was probably turning that weird but not unattractive copper blush of his and unable to hide a smile full of fangs and pride. The troll was so easily wound up from just simple compliments.

But in truth, Dave had to admit that even he was pretty red in the face. He wanted to come out from his hiding place and tell Bro he was not some kid that needed someone watching out for him, that he had never been dependant on Tavros’ presence, and inform Bro that he was going on about shit he knew nothing about.

He did not though, because maybe Bro did know what he was talking about.

\---------------------------------------------

“Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Can, uh, we do something else now?”

“Why?”

“No reason.”

“Then no, we can’t.”

“But I, you know, I can’t tell you why because he’s right there.”

“Who, Bro?”

“What? No. Not him.”

“Then who?”

“Uh, you know, it’s _him_.” The troll tilted his head to indicate the puppet smiling at them from up on the bookshelf. Dave quirked a brow at him.

“Lil Cal?”

“Maybe.”

“Dude, are you seriously still creeped out by him? It’s been a week or something.”

“I can’t help it! He kind of, uh, makes me really not comfortable.”

“Stop worrying. Lil Cal is cool.”

“But puppets shouldn’t, you know, move and—oh gog.” Tavros turned to find the puppet sitting next to him, his head propped against the futon so he was looking up at the troll. Dave snorted.

“Look, he’s trying to get to know you.”

“No, I don’t really want to get to know him so can he maybe go away?”

“He just wants to be your bud.”

“I really don’t think that – augh, he’s touching me, Dave, his hand is on my leg oh gog--”

“Just move it off.”

“I don’t want to touch him!”

“Give him a bro fist and he’ll probably leave you alone.”

“A what?”

“Bro fist. Put your hand into a fist and bump it against his fist.”

“Dave, I really, really don’t want to touch him.”

“Alright. Just don’t bitch when he’s up in your grill or something.”

“Oh gog, no, he wouldn’t, would he? Uhh, ok, I um, I’ll do it, just so he doesn’t touch me anymore.”

Tavros swallowed hard and slowly raised a shaking hand, curling it into a fist. It was hard for Dave to not to roll his eyes as it took him a whole ten seconds to move his fist from where it was to make contact with Lil Bro’s.

The puppet was gone in the blink of an eye, draped over Bro’s shoulder as if he was looking at what the man was doing on his computer.

“See? Lil Cal is a cool dude. He just wanted some bro time with you.”

Tavros just held his hand close to his chest, as if protecting it from having to face such danger again.

\---------------------------------------------

There was no real warning about it. Bro simply got up from where he was and offhandedly commented that it was time he headed out. Dave did his best to not appear disappointed. If Tavros tried to do that same, he was not very good at it at all.

There was no ceremony. They did not even bother moving to the roof since there was not much point, seeing as Bro could leave from wherever he wanted in the bubble. When he bid Tavros goodbye, it was with a fist raised, waiting for the troll to fist bump back. It took some coaching from Dave for Tavros to understand what he was supposed to do.

“Remember what I told you, alright?”

“Uhh, yeah, ok.”

Dave and Bro stood staring at one another, both behind their dark shades. The teenager was sure that no one would understand how anything could pass between them in that way, but it could and it did. Bro held out a hand, Dave took it, and they came together to form the coolest brohug ever seen. A normal, sentimental hug was not necessary like when Dave had first seen Bro; there were no emotions that strong anymore. They would be seeing each other again.

No words were necessary.

Lil Cal was hanging on Bro’s shoulder as he stood there, mentally starting to pull his bubble away from Dave’s. The teenager still did not quite understand how it worked, but eventually he would figure it out when he started bubble surfing himself. Now that the idea of it was sown in his mind, he could not understand how he had just sat around for so long.

When everything seemed to be in place, Bro smirked at Dave.

“What should I say?”

The corners of Dave’s mouth curled. Bro would make that reference.

“Make something up.”

“Be excellent to each other.”

“Party on, dude.”

And with that, Bro was gone.

\---------------------------------------------

“What was that just now? Was it some sort of, uh, exchange that humans have when they say goodbye?”

“Definitely. We all say that when we say goodbye. You should try it next time we say goodbye to any humans.”

“I can’t tell if you’re messing with me or not.”

“What do you think?”

“I think I will just stick with saying goodbye.”

“Good choice.”


	7. In which Tavros gets a new self-esteem, Equius shows Dave’s wall just how strong he is, and Dave considers the laundry he’s going to have to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 12: In which Tavros gets a new self-esteem, Equius shows Dave’s wall just how strong he is, and Dave considers the laundry he’s going to have to do

There was something inexplicably exciting about the idea of bumping into other bubbles. The idea that just by being open to the presence of others, Dave’s bubble would start to move and make its way through not-space and meet up with other bubbles was something new. It was different.

It was hard to come by different when trapped in a bubble.

Dave had been excited when he felt the chilling sensation of invasion, knowing he had hit his first bubble during bubble surfing. It was masked, of course, only making itself know by an arch of his brow. That excitement only lasted until he opened his apartment door to find a burly looking troll frowning at him.

“Who do you think you are to come barging into the bubble of a high blood?”

“Fuck, you’re the troll with a boner for strong man-horses, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Whatever. I’m only letting you inside if you promise to not pitch a tent while you’re here.”

“Who said I wanted to come inside at all? You are very presumptuous as well as lewd.”

“Because if you didn’t want to behold my wicked way with words, you’d have just shoved my bubble off when it collided with yours. Admit it. You’re excited to get up close to the fucking king of rap battles.”

“…Is that an order?”

“What?”

“You said to admit it. Are you trying to order me to do your bidding?”

“The fuck? No.”

“Ah, I see. Even so, I suppose I should recognize your social stature in human society. I will come inside.”

“Great.”

\------------------------------------ 

In truth, Dave had only tried to get Equius to come in because he thought that maybe Tavros would want to see one of the trolls again. He definitely liked hanging out with Aradia. And considering how much Dave had appreciated being around another human when Bro was around, it would make sense that Tavros might like the company of trolls.

Dave could be a considerate guy when he wanted to be.

But of course the troll shit always made a mess of Dave’s plans.

It had started out alright, although not great by any means. Tavros had been pretty awkward when faced with Equius, acting far more cowed than Dave had seen him act since way back when he told him about the culling shit. Frankly, considering they were at the point where Tavros occasionally managed to yank his chain and rub it in Dave’s face, it was weird to see him completely withdrawn.

Hell, even Equius looked awkward. Dave was curious how long the guy had been dead for. Probably not long, considering the confused look he had given Dave earlier when the teenager mentioned pushing his bubble away.

When Equius asked about why someone with as high a status as Dave was living with someone as lowly as Tavros and Dave remembered that oh yeah, there was the whole blood hierarchy thing, things started on a downhill path.

That was not going to stand in his apartment.

“Hey, Tav, would you do me the honor of escorting me to the kitchen?” Dave asked levelly, completely ignoring the question asked of him as he did. Equius opened his mouth to protest, but the teenager did not hear a word of it as he turned and walked away. Tavros mumbled an agreement and followed behind him.

Once they were separated from the bulky troll, Dave leaned back against the counter and looked Tavros straight in the eye.

“Tavros, remember what I said about the blood shit when you told me about it?”

“Uhh, that it was sick in the worst way.”

“Right. And what about how it applies in this apartment.”

“It doesn’t?”

“Damn right it doesn’t. And what is your status here?”

“That I’m sort of an official member of the household?”

“Not sort of. Try again.”

“I, uh, I am an official member, most definitely.”

“And what does that make us?”

“Uhhh--”

“Equals. We’re equals. Got it?”

“Yeah, right, ok. We’re equals.”

“Good. Now stop smiling like an idiot because this conversation isn’t over. What is Equius?”

“A high blood--”

“Wrong. What is Equius in the Strider apartment?”

“Uhh, I dunno.”

“An equal, if not below you in terms of importance. That goes beyond here too. What you deserve is his respect, and if he doesn’t give it to you, you take it from him. Got it?”

Tavros stared at Dave with wide eyes. It was pretty clear that the troll’s brain was racing as it tried to deal with old troll ideas and the new human ones being presented to him. Finally, the corners of his dark lips curled, revealing a smile that was both appreciative and a bit bemused.

“Dave, are you uh, mad at Equius on my behalf?”

The teenager kept his poker face solidly in place, even as the reaction to being caught flared up inside. Instead he simply shrugged and made sure his shades were perfectly in place. It was enough though. Something about the fact that Dave personally cared about how the troll was treated gave Tavros that final push.

“You’re right. I’m done, you know, just accepting it, even if it is from the other trolls. I really like not feeling, uh, inferior here, and don’t really want to go back to feeling like before.”

“Right on.”

“Wow. Oh wow, this feels really, really good.”

Dave could not help smirking. “Getting high off the self-confidence there?”

“You’re kind of a lot better as my self esteem than Rufio was!”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m going go and tell Equius that I am, you know, not someone he can put down anymore!”

“Dude, back up, what did you just say before that?”

“Thanks, Dave!”

With that, Tavros spun on his heels and was out of the kitchen before Dave could stop him. In all honesty, it was probably for the best since it sounded like something the teenager did not want to know.

He stayed in the kitchen for a bit, figuring he should give Tavros some space to do his thing. The troll needed to learn to stand on his own two feet – perhaps not the best phrase considering he had once been a cripple, but then again that also made it the best phrase to use.

There was not any yelling, so it had to be going alright.

“Uhhh, hey, Dave? All the towels are in the bathroom, right?”

Maybe too well.

\------------------------------------ 

Things went pretty smoothly after that. Once Equius had submitted to the idea that Dave and Tavros were his equals in the apartment and the two had managed to get him to sit and not touch anything – one puppet had already met a pretty brutal fate – he was practically cordial. It was like Dave had the Queen of England in his apartment, only she was a big troll with a hankering for role reversal, sweating problems, and the strength to tear anything in two.

Equius noted that Tavros had his own legs back to which Tavros replied that they were really nice and better than being crippled or having robotic legs. This was quickly followed by him stammering out that the robotic legs were really cool too, and it was really nice of Equius to have made them for him, and that they probably would have been really awesome if he had had the chance to get used to them before dying.

The bigger troll simply replied that it was a shame.

Dave was mentally adding robots to the list of things he was pretty sure Equius had a fetish for.

It turned out that indeed, Equius had acquired his bubble pretty recently. While he and Tavros had not actually died all that far apart in the timeline back in reality, time out in the middle of nowhere was messing with them. What was for Tavros many months had only been a week or two for Equius.

Equius insisted that he did not need any advice about living in a bubble, but there was no stopping Tavros once he found he could be of assistance. Not even the pride of a troll who thought himself high class could stop the unending torrent of information.

Despite his protests at the beginning – rather angry sounding ones at that, but Tavros was fueled by ridiculous amounts of self confidence and kept going anyway – Equius was soon listening with rapt attention. No doubt he was a stickler for rules and regulations and knowing how things were supposed to work. Considering he made robots, it probably should not have surprised Dave at all that he would find the mechanisms of the bubbles interesting too.

When Equius inquired as to what the turntables in the corner of the living room were, Dave simply explained that they were a part of human rapping tradition. That was not enough for him though, and before Dave could really stop him he was already examining them up close.

In truth, Dave did try to get in the way and stop him. But the effort it took Equius to shove him aside was so minimal to the troll that he did not even notice he had done it. Dave was too proud to mention he had been pushed aside like a ragdoll.

Tavros was next to him though, pointing out the controls and explaining it all. Where Equius was harsh with puppets, he was incredibly gentle and careful with the machine, and even scolded Tavros when he twisted a knob too harshly.

“You must be careful with your strength.”

“Uh, right, sorry. I’ll be better about that.”

“Good. You are good at taking orders.”

“Whoa, I thought that was just advice or, you know, a friendly warning. I already kind of told you that I’m not really taking orders from, uh, you.”

“Uh. Yes. You’re correct.”

“Dude, if you get sweat all over Bro’s turntables, I will have to end you.”

“Uhh, I think you’re maybe making it worse, Dave.”

“No, I am quite alright. I will just excuse myself for a moment.”

Dave was going to have to wash all his towels at least twice before he could use them again.

\------------------------------------ 

“Hey, Dave, we should uh, play some sick beats for Equius.”

“Yeah, no thanks. I don’t want him getting any ideas about rapping around me ever again.”

“Whoa, wait, does he maybe know slam poetry?”

“Dude. Don’t. Take my word for it.”

“Ok. But we could still share the track we made together, maybe?”

“Nah.”

“Uh, why not?”

“Just not feeling it right now. Too worried about the innocence of my towels.”

“But this could maybe take your mind off that?”

“No.”

“Come on, it’ll be, you know, really fun.”

“Sick beats aren’t about fun. This is super serious business. This business is so serious that the government would bail it out before letting it fall on its fucking fat ass.”

“Uh, ok, so that did not make any sense to me, but I’m still going to assume it’s probably an excuse.”

“Dude, excuses are way beneath me.”

“Then you’re going to definitely drop these ill rhymes with me.”

“No way. You’re not gonna win this one.”

“Excuse me,” Equius interrupted. He was holding a towel in his hand and lightly dabbing his forehead. “I hate to interrupt your, how one might say, moment, but I must ask where I should put soiled towels.”

Dave grimaced before tilting his head to indicate the bathroom. “Just throw ‘em in the shower.”

“Ah, thank you. Also, my congratulations to you, Tavros, for your filled quadrant.”

“Uhh, what?”

“I would not have believed that someone with your blood would find a worthwhile partner, but it does indeed seem that this afterlife is an odd place. Then again, perhaps it is because he is not a troll that it works. You will have to excuse me for being so lewd, but is it pale or flushed?”

“Whoa, wait, uh, what?”

“Yes, you are right, I am being too invasive with my questions. You do not need to inform me of the sort of red feelings you two share.”

“Oh, wow, wait, I mean we’re uh, not, I don’t think anyway, not even moirails really--”

“So I think I’m now the one interrupting something, but here we go. Are you guys going on about what I think you are?”

“We are discussing the delicate matter of your romantic relations. However, are you telling me I have made an error?”

Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades while Tavros stammered out, “Yeah, we’re not really in any sort of red romance, or uh even a black one, since I’m not good at things like hate and we don’t really have a third person--”

“No, we’re not getting it on. Can we move on?”

Equius and even Tavros looked at him in confusion. “That was not the topic at hand. A crude subtopic perhaps, but certainly not the main topic.”

“Uh, yeah. He wasn’t really asking about that. Well, you kind of did earlier, I guess.”

“Ah, right. When I was being too invasive with my questions. Again, I beg your forgiveness.”

“No, that’s ok, really, you don’t uh, have to do any begging.”

“Perhaps that was why I confused Dave.”

Dave stared at the two before finally remembering. Right. Troll romances. He could not help placing his palm to his face. “No, never mind. I forgot that you guys can have romances without the sex, however the fuck that works.”

There was a pause before Equius asked, “Are you trying to suggest there is something odd about moirallegiance.”

“I don’t really see the point. Might as well admit you’re just friends.”

“Excuse me?”

“Look, I get that you guys think it’s romantic or something, but if you’re not able to mack on each other, it’s time to admit to the truth. You’re just friends.”

It was when Dave removed his hand to find Equius’s enraged expression that he realized that saying ‘fuck you’ to cultural sensitivity was officially coming back to bite him in the ass.

“Are you trying to suggest that Nepeta and I are simply friends? That our relationship is nothing more than the simple, juvenile nothings between people who do not have any form of romantic devotion?” the large troll asked, his voice rising in volume with each word, as if just speaking them increased his anger. For being the troll version of the Queen of England, Equius was freaky as hell when he was getting mad. Dave put up his hands, although he was not about to physically retreat.

“Whoa. Ok, maybe there was a cultural sensitivity line that was crossed that could have gone uncrossed. This is me taking my ass back across the line, alright? We’ll pretend I didn’t say that.”

“Do not mock me!” Equius shouted as his hands curled into fists. “You do not mean your words in the least! I can tell that you still feel that simply because we do not have concupiscent relations, you think we are simply deluding ourselves, and that – _that_ is something I will not stand for! I will not have our relationship mocked by some ignorant earth wriggler!”

Equius took a step forward and Dave took one back. “Look, I don’t get it. I’m not a troll, I don’t get your quadrant things. But—Fuck, dude, give me time to talk!”

“Whoa, uh, Equius, maybe you should--”

“I am done listening to your words!” The only thing that Dave had to thank for the fact that his head was still on his shoulders was how he had been raised to be fast. He had ducked and rolled across the carpet before he heard the smash. As he was getting to his feet, Dave saw that there was now a hole in his wall.

A really big, deep hole.

“Wait! Whoa, ok, Equius, you seriously need to stop!” Tavros shouted, grabbing Equius’ shoulder as the enraged troll pulled his hand out of the ruined wall. “Humans aren’t like trolls! You could seriously, definitely kill him doing that!”

“Then so be it!”

“What--No!”

Dave stood there and watched in shock as Tavros tackled Equius, knocking them both to the ground. The two trolls were face down with Tavros on top, his arms visibly straining to keep Equius smashed against the carpet. It was a losing battle though as Dave had no doubt that Equius was the stronger of the pair and that considering he was fuming the way he was, that strength was probably doubled. The only thing keeping him down was that he could not get his arms under him to get the right leverage.

“Tavros, I order you get off this instant!”

“No! I won’t let you hurt Dave! Please stop being angry!”

“But he has insulted me and my moirail! I will not stand for it!”

“I know, I know! But he can’t, you know, help not understanding? He didn’t grow up with us or, uh, on Alternia at all.”

“Ignorance is no excuse!” Equius finally managed to get a hand flat to the carpet and his elbow up so that he could push upwards. Tavros yelped, scrambling to steady himself and try to keep the other troll down. “It is his own fault if he is not willing to learn! I will beat it into him if I must, and if the lessen is too much for him, it is due to his own weakness!”

Something snapped. Dave could not name it, but to say it was like the Time Zone if it were real and not shitty was pretty close. Throw in Fight Club and horns, and that was as close as he could get.

“ _No!_ ” Tavros roared and, to Dave’s horror, rammed his head down. His skull collided with Equius’, and the shock was enough to send him flat to the carpet again. Instead of lifting up and away after that, Tavros only pulled back enough to slam back down, the top of his forehead pressed to the back of Equius’ neck so that his horns ripped into the carpet and possibly even pierced through the floor. He effectively had the raging troll’s head pinned down against the ground with his massive horns. Even Equius had the decency to suck in his breath.

Dave was pretty sure he would never be able to call those huge horns goofy ever again. As it was, they were intimidating when actually used in a fight.

Really fucking intimidating.

There was a bit more shuffling, but Equius did not thrash like before. It was hard to do when one’s head is unable to move up so much as an inch. However, his whole body shook with anger.

“You _will_ get off of me this instant!” he bellowed, gnashing his teeth as he did.

“No.” It was not a shout, but it was just as solid when it was in the air as any rage-filled scream. Tavros was visibly panting and straining, but there was no waver in his voice. “No. I’m done, uh, listening to what people tell me to do. Now, I’m going to tell _you_ what to do, and that means that you’re going to, right now, definitely listen to me.”

There was a pause. When Equius did not respond, Tavros continued.

“Dave isn’t a troll. Dave grew up on Earth with other humans, and they uh, only have one form of romance. The only quadrant he can really understand is the flushed one, probably, because that’s the closest to what they have from what I kind of understand about it,” Tavros started, even and calm despite still straining his neck to keep Equius down.

“They have this, uh, I dunno, line I guess between friends and romantic partners. Either they’re in love or they’re not. Moirails are too similar to their concept of friends, or something, it’s kind of weird. They can’t have friends who are also romantic interests. They can’t do anything about that line, and uh, I don’t think they can even think about blurring it, really. It doesn’t occur to them that romance can exist when there aren’t concupiscent feelings.”

A pause as Tavros took a moment to swallow hard. His voice was getting rougher by the moment, though whether it was emotion or the strain was indecipherable. “Those are, well, just friends for them. Dave would never think that there could maybe be romance where there isn’t, uh, physical interactions. That’s just friendship to him. Dave _can’t_ understand troll feelings.”

Equius was starting to cease moving under him.

Dave was pretty damn sure he was missing something, and the sinking feeling in his stomach told him that maybe he really did not want to think about what that something was.

Without warning, Equius slammed his fists down against the floor, his whole body trembling with the burst of violence. Then, as the tension appeared to ease out of his body, the anger seemed to go with it. The troll took a deep breath.

“I think I understand this situation now.”

Tavros stilled, blinked, and then said in his usual stammering way, “Uh, what?”

“I will respect what I understand of the situation. No harm will come to Dave.”

“Really?”

“I would never lie.”

“Oh. Ok.” Tavros lifted himself and his horns up before he rolled off, sitting there for a moment and rubbing his neck. Equius pushed himself back until he was on the balls of his feet, rolling his head with a few audible cracks. The two were suddenly so composed, as if it was no big deal that they had just been fighting and that there was now a huge hole in Dave’s wall along with a couple small ones in his floor.

It was making Dave feel pretty damn stupid for being on edge and confused and frankly somewhere between shitting himself and asking ‘what the fuck’. His whole body was still in battle mode, and they were sitting around like a bunch of kids that just finished a round of rock-paper-scissors.

“Guys?”

“Oh, hey Dave.” Tavros swallowed hard but still managed a smile. “I think everything is, you know, ok now. Sorry about the holes.”

“I apologize for not fully comprehending the extent of your ignorance. However, I will be leaving the hole as a reminder that I will not allow you to disrespect moirallegiance again.”

“Yeah, ok, thanks for being cordial about having gone fucking trollshit all over my apartment. I’m just going to leave now.”

“Oh, um, I’ll come with--”

“Dude, go get all your troll rage out or have a romantic powwow or whatever. I’ll be up on the roof when you guys are done.”

Tavros’ face fell at that, and if there was a list of moments when Dave felt like a douche, this one was definitely on it and inching towards the top. That expression was twisting Dave’s gut in all the wrong ways. But there was no way he could stay.

There were too many emotions floating around right now.

Dave had to get out.

“Sorry. See him off or something and come find me if you want after that.”

That seemed to make things a bit better, although none of the gut churning ceased. Facing death, being saved by a friend, and then having that friend talk about how he could never understand troll romance was, frankly, too much for Dave to take.

Once he was out the front door, Dave dashed up the stairs and away from the apartment as fast as he could.

 ------------------------------------

“It must be difficult.”

“What?”

“Having pale feelings for someone who cannot understand them. It sounds worse than having your feelings rejected.”

“Uh, I don’t know what you could possibly mean?”

“Are you truly going to play dumb?”

“I don’t really, well—ok, no. I don’t really know what I, uh, feel?”

“I see. I have heard that at times, feelings can shift between pale and flushed and that it is confusing.”

“Um.”

“That is the problem, right?”

“I kind of try not to think about it at all, actually. So don’t really know even that much? Maybe I just, kind of, am over thinking the friendship a lot.”

“Tavros.”

“Yeah?”

“If I learned something from Nepeta, it is that it takes strength to face feelings, and even greater strength to admit to them.”

“Did she tell you that when you formed your moirallegiance?”

“Uh.”

“Oh. She was talking about her, uh, shipping wall--”

“The circumstances do not matter. It is still true. I have learned that strength is important not just in the realm of strong physiques. It has a strong role in feelings.”

“So you think I should maybe think about how I feel?”

“Indeed. I’m sure that is what Nepeta would say as well.”

“But Dave doesn’t really--”

“He can be taught.”

“But what if he doesn’t--”

“Rejection can create strength.”

“Um. Ok. I’ll think about, uh, thinking about it.”

“Good.”

“You feel really strongly about Nepeta, don’t you?”

“The strongest. It is hard now that I do not know how she is. She’s not here in this place, is she?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Oh. So, she was… oh.”

“I haven’t seen her, but Dave’s brother did mention her. She was happy though, or well, that’s what he said, and I don’t think he would lie? She’s just waiting around for, uh, you.”

“I see. I believe I should leave now then. I cannot keep her waiting.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Good luck.”

“I offer you the same.”

“Uhh, thanks, I guess?”

“Be strong.”

“Oh, you too?”

“And before I go, I would just like to state that you, Tavros, are very strong considering your blood.”

“Um, ok. You’re not bad for a blue blood, either.”

“I will ignore your impertinence just this once.”

“Me too, then.”

“You have changed.”

“Yeah, I guess I have, kind of. I have a new self esteem now, and he is better than uh, Rufio was. Probably because he’s, you know, real.”

“Yes, just like that.”

“What?”

“That. That way of strongly admitting your feelings.”

“Uhh, hey, Equius?”

“Yes?”

“I’m just going to walk away now, ok?”

“Oh. Right. That is fine. I will find Nepeta.”

“Ok. Say hi for me.”


	8. In which bad impressions are exchanged and Dave is caught with his pants down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 13: In which bad impressions are exchanged and Dave is caught with his pants down

“Dave?”

“That was fast. There aren’t any new holes, are there?”

“No. We just, uh, talked a bit and then Equius left to find Nepeta.”

“That his moi-whatever it was?”

“Moirail, and yeah.”

“Does he know if she’s dead? Maybe she’s still back in reality.”

“Actually, she’s the troll Bro mentioned.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Tavros was still looking put out by the struggle. The troll did not stand next to where Dave was leaning, but instead sat on the roof with his back against the railing. “Are you ok?”

“Of course. I’m always ok. No trolls fighting it out in my living room over my ability to live can bring this tower of ok down. For the record though, I do still carry a sword with me at all times. Just because I’m not the hulk doesn’t mean I need saving.”

“Oh. Ok. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I thought you needed saving or anything. I just, uh--”

“Just moved.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s why it’s for the record. I doubt anything I could have told you would have stopped you from being a dumbass.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m thanking you for being a dumbass.”

“Whoa. Um. You’re welcome, I guess?” Dave did not even have to look over to know that Tavros was blushing. But he did anyway to find the troll with his legs pulls up and his face pressed against his knees. All that the teenager could see really were his ears poking out under the base of his huge horns.

Despite having realized how fearsome the horns could be, when Dave glanced over and noticed there were bits of carpet fuzz clinging to it the tips, he could not help a snort. He reached over to rub his fingers against the hard surface, picking the crap off. Tavros stilled at the contact before lifting his head and looking at Dave questioningly.

“What’re you doing?”

“You have carpet on you. And, yup, that looks like sawdust. I guess in your case it’s horndust.”

“Oh. And here I thought maybe you just had a, uh, thing for my horns.”

“Damn, you caught me. Ooh Tavros ooh, your horns, they make me feel so incredibly lewd. Where’s a towel when I am in strong need of one?”

Tavros burst out laughing. Whatever was on his mind was shattered. The shrapnel must have flown pretty far since Dave felt his funk just melt away.

The teenager slipped down to sit next to the troll and they spent a good hour or so exchanging terrible impressions. Tavros introduced himself to Dave as all the other trolls – “I’m always really angry and yelling for no reason at all and I’m going to crush your skull and fuck your think pan with this bone bulge of obscene metaphors until you, uh, want to curl up and cry” – and in return, Tavros met all the kids through Dave – “Hey look at me, I’m always happy, haha oh man, the world is ending? Well that’s a bummer I guess but I have some gushers. I sure hope at least Nicholas Cage and Liv Taylor survived oh man be still my little boy heart.”

After the main kids came guardians, actors and actresses, and frankly, anyone that would be fun to imitate. It reached the point where Tavros was sprawled out on the roof and holding his gut, begging for mercy as he wheezed; even Dave was outright laughing. He had to look away as he wiped moisture away from his eyes when Tavros found his Terezi impression got the most laughs out of him, and he imitated her for five minutes straight. What finally broke the teenager was when Tavros started to threaten to lick him, and for all Dave’s shoving, the troll would climb and croon and go on about the delicious, uh, pink candies that Dave was hiding behind his shades.

Dave had to curl up on the ground and cover his face as he practically sobbed with laughter. Even Tavros could not keep it up as he laughed along, neither caring that he was still draped over Dave like a lazy cat.

Once they had calmed down, they continued to lay out on the roof. It took a moment, but finally Tavros murmured, “Oh. Wow. It’s actually nighttime.”

Dave blinked. “Yeah. Weird. I think it’s only ever been dark when we were going to bed.”

“Huh. So this is, um, the Earth’s night sky?”

“Yes. There’s the little dipper. But… hold up,” Dave said, picking his shades off his face and looking harder. “Where the fuck is the big dipper?”

“The what?”

“It’s a constellation. Tav, are your stars fucking with my stars?”

“Uhh, well, I—oh, that there is the Empress Skalia!”

“So the answer is yes.”

“I guess?”

“Alright. You know what this means, right?”

“What?”

“We have to come up with some new constellations for our fucked up stars.”

“I don’t know if I would be really any good at that.”

“It’s like a galactic rap off. We’re going to drop some names on those constellations that are so sick, they will be feeling ill for months. They’ll be laying in their cozy deathbeds, saying their little prayers to the almighty god of stars, the goddamn mother of the night sky, the moon – hold up, is that another fucking moon?”

“Sorry?”

“Shit, look, you’ve ruined my metaphor. Way to throw off my groove.”

“Doesn’t seem to, uh, take much to throw you off.”

Dave looked over at Tavros’ smug grin.

“You saw Equius shove me.”

“You were like a little grub.”

“Fuck you.”

Tavros just snorted and stretched out, looking up at the stars with the sort of interest that should have been reserved for things on a digital screen. Finally he pointed up. “Uh, alright, that star there that’s really bright that has the six stars around it.”

“You mean – yeah, ok, I see.”

“That’s going to be Beat.”

“Beat?”

“Yeah. Cause uh, right above that is a really, really bright star all on its own and above that is, kind of maybe an arrow pointing down. The arrow is Drop.”

“You lost me.”

“It’s Drop and Beat, and there’s a little something between them?”

“Stop trying to be clever.”

“It’s Drop the Beat,” Tavros explained, sighing as he pursed his lips. “I guess I’m not good at this?”

Dave paused before smiling. “I get it. Nah, I think it’s good. A bit complicated, but not bad. Alright, not good, but not bad.”

“You’re just being nice.”

“Can’t be a douche twenty four, seven. The douche shop has closed for the day. Everyone should just go home.”

“But I like when you’re being nice.”

Dave almost gave into it. Almost. But he managed his most unimpressed look as he turned his head to look at Tavros. “I see how it is. You only put up with the douchebaggary for these rare moments. You just can’t handle the whole package.”

“What? No, I uh--”

“Don’t even try to deny it. I don’t know if we can do this when you can’t appreciate me the way I am, man, douche and all.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like the douchebaggary,” Tavros stammered, bracing his elbows so he could lift his head and actually turn it to look at Dave. The teenager wondered if the troll even realized the things he had to do to compensate for the huge horns, or if they were just second nature by now. “I mean, it’s kind of weird to say I like it, but I probably do, because I don’t really dislike anything about you?”

Dave stared, trying to digest the rather blatant comment. Having Tavros stare back was not helping. In fact, he was starting to almost feel naked without his shades as a barrier.

Finally, Dave did what he had to do. He shrugged and looked back up at the stars, hoping that Tavro would follow suit.

“You mind if we skip the ‘I like everything about you,’ ‘I like everything about you too,’ and crying into our tubs of ice cream thing?”

“Do you, maybe, not dislike anything about me?”

Dave reached out a hand to casually try to find his shades again. They were proving to be elusive. “Consider the fact that my best friend back on Earth was a huge nerd with buck teeth and a mancrush on a shitty actor, and my other two friends were a chick with an intellectual boner for a dead psychiatrist and another chick whose favorite hobbies were plants and being asleep all the time. Have you considered it? Because if so, it’s not a stretch that I wouldn’t dislike you.”

“Really?” Tavros asked quietly, and dammit all, Dave’s shades must have been out of reach. It was time for plan B.

The teenager slung his arm over his eyes before replying, “Yeah, really. You’re the biggest dofus I could have possibly been forced to room with, but I don’t really have anything to bitch about.”

“You like me? Not in, uh, like, any--”

“I know what you mean.” Dave sighed.“Yeah.”

It was silent then. Completely silent. Once he was sure that there was not even a single red pigment left in his face, Dave lifted his arm to look over at Tavros. The troll was smiling, like he had assumed, but there was something else. Almost contemplative.

“What’re you doing?”

“What? Oh, sorry. Just thinking.”

“Thinking.”

“Yeah. Thinking about thinking.”

“What?”

“Uhh, nevermind,” Tavros mumbled before laying down flat again.

“Whatever.”

The two settled into silence. There was nothing like bad impressions and naming constellations to set things right. Things were like they were before Tavros and Equius went trollshit and Dave had to deal with all the awkward emotions.

Almost.

Dave decided that for now, he would ignore the almost.

\-------------------------------------- 

“You have to do it now.”

“What am I doing now?”

“Naming a constellation.”

“Are you challenging me? Because I am just as good with naming as I am with rapping. I will wipe the floor with you.”

“Maybe, you should consider, you know, stopping with the gabbing and get with, uh, showing me.”

“Oh, it’s on. Over there, see the stars that make two squares next to each other?”

“Yeah.”

“Those are the Wind God’s fucking Buck Teeth.”

“But they’re really flat for teeth.”

“He’s a human God. You go now.”

“Uhh, ok. How about over there, with the line and two dips under it?”

“Yeah.”

“Those are the Shades of Denial.”

“Hold up. You sure you don’t know Rose?”

He just received a grin in response.

“Fine. Over there, see?”

“Uh, I can’t see where you’re pointing… Oh, ok, yeah?”

“Those are the Huge Horns of Tavvy McCarpet-Fuzz.”

“Sorry I don’t constantly check the state of my horns.”

“Awkward.”

“Shut up. Then that big red star right there?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s, uh, well this is kind of obscene but you asked for it--”

“Dude, bring it. I have a hankering for the obscene.”

“That’s Terezi’s cherry-red pail.”

While Dave did not know the exact mechanisms of how trolls used their pails, he had figured out through exchanging comics with Terezi that pails were pretty obscene, and mentally chalked them up to being like sex toys.

After breaking out in choked snickers, Dave admitted that Tavros had won that round.

\-------------------------------------- 

“Dave? Hey, there’s a Dave around here, right? Daaave?”

Said Dave just groaned and curled up tighter, keeping the blankets tight to his ears.

“You’re not outside, are you? That would be weird. I’m pretty sure your whiteness would scorch the earth as soon as sunlight reflected off of it, haha!”

That was so incredibly dumb. It was too early for that level of dumb. All Dave could think about was slipping back into the land of sleep.

“Whoa, wow! Look at that! I didn’t know there were cliffs and stuff by your apartment building! You always said it was just boring sky scrapers everywhere and that the fact that there was green stuff everywhere at my house was weird. Oh, but, the other Daves didn’t have cliffs and plants. Why do you?”

Dave grumbled as he tugged his pillow out from under his head so that he could cover his head with it instead and block out the noise. Somehow, Tavros managed to stay dead asleep next to him, lightly snoring as usual.

It was about then that some neuron in his brain fired off.

“The fuck?” he muttered as he lifted up the pillow. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the light streaming in through the window into the room. There next to him was definitely Tavros, sleeping like a big monster baby. It looked like he even had a few more hairs growing on his chin today. Hell, his face in general looked like it had been grabbed by Mother Nature and stretched out during the night. It was definitely less baby – or grub since he was a troll – face and more long and gaunt. Maybe in another month or two it would fill out. It was looking like Tavros would going to grow into a handsomely chiseled face. Not bad.

It was too damn early in the morning to even try to tell himself that it was not exactly friendly to be checking out Tavros’ face when the troll was asleep.

Another neuron fired that brought him back to the important matter.

“Dave? Are you in here?”

“The fuck is that?”

Dave did not get a chance to fully recognize the voice he so rarely heard before the boy’s face was there, peeking into his room from the opened door.

“John?” There was no mistaking the boy for anyone else. If anything, the buck teeth gave him away. But what was particularly odd was that John looked just the way he had back when Dave had been alive. John was still as baby-faced as ever, short and slender like a little boy untouched by puberty for the most part.

Not that Dave was exactly close to full grown himself. He was at most fifteen physically, if that. But the comparison made it clear what a difference a couple years could have at their state of development.

Either John had a disease that kept him a kid for the rest of his life, or the time shit was messing with them again.

“There you are! I was looking all over for you,” John chirped. He did not move from the door though. In fact, his eyes were wide behind his eyes and the glances he gave Tavros’ sleeping form were starting to get the message across. “So, did I interrupt something here?”

“It is too damn early for this shit again.” Dave rubbed at his eyes under his shades before slipping the blanket off of himself. “Just go sit on the couch or something until I’m actually awake, alright?”

“Whatever you say, Mr. grumpy face.” John was gone again, giving Dave a chance to stretch and yawn. Oxygen was what his brain needed. Mornings would have been the death of him if he were not already dead.

“Dave?” Tavros asked foggily, rubbing at his eyes as he seemed to finally be drawn out of sleep. “You’re never up before me.”

“Tell John that. Fuck, it’s too early for this shit.”

“Uhh, wait, John?”

“Yeah.”

“Your friend John?”

“I don’t know any other Johns.”

“But isn’t he still, probably, alive?”

Finally, the last neuron fired. The jolt it gave Dave was enough to wake him up completely.

“Holy shit, it’s _John_.”

Dave scrambled off the bed, grabbing his jeans off the floor and shimmying into them as he hopped and hobbled his way to the door. “Holy f _uck_ , John, you little twerp, the hell are you doing here? If you up and got yourself killed doing something stupid, I’m going to make sure the afterlife is hell for you--”

When he opened the door, John was standing there with a big, goofy grin on his face. The standing only lasted for a second or two though before the boy launched himself forward, nearly throwing all his weight into the hug. Normally this would not have been a problem; however, since Dave was still wobbly from just waking up and his pants still tangled around his legs, the hug sent Dave tumbling backwards.

There was a troll in his bed, wearing his pajamas and asking if he was alright, there was a thirteen year old kid with his arms wrapped around his shoulders that had just tackled him to the ground, and Dave’s pants were down around his knees.

This was, by far, the least cool position Dave had ever been in in his life.

\-------------------------------------- 

“Jesus _Christ_ , sounds like I should be pretty damn thankful I got out of dodge when I did.”

“Haha, yeah, it’s pretty crazy,” John laughed, curled up on the couch and smiling. “It’s kind of nice that when we sleep, we get to just hang out with people who don’t have to worry about that stuff anymore. It makes it feel like we don’t have to anymore, you know?”

Dave shrugged and replied, “I’m kind of stuck on this side of the fence, so it’s hard to know. But it sounds like it.”

“Yeah.” John trailed off, staring at Dave’s face intently. Dave arched his brow.

“You almost done?”

“It’s just so weird!” John practically cried, his hands thrown up in the air. “I mean, you only died a couple days ago, but here you are and you’re so old!”

“Time flies when you’re trapped in a bubble rapping all day and listening to Tavros snore all night,” Dave replied, managing to keep a straight face as the troll made an indignant noise from where he was in the kitchen. “Yeah, love you too, babe. Don’t worry, it’s like a nighttime lullaby at this point. Where would I be without the sweet sound of your nasally orchestra?”

“I can’t help it!”

“He can’t?”

“Nah. Something about troll anatomy. They just aren’t made to sleep horizontally.”

“Oh. That explains a lot.”

“What the hell does it explain other than Tav’s snoring?”

“Well, not the snoring, but that they aren’t made to sleep horizontally! All the trolls seem pretty grouchy. Maybe they just can’t sleep well since they’re stuck with regular beds?”

“Actually, from what I can tell, most of them are just naturally douche bags, sleep or no sleep.”

“Ok. Soooo, while we’re on the topics of beds--”

“Dude. Are we seriously going there? And stop smiling like that. Christ, that’s annoying in person.”

“Aww, but you guys looked like you were so comfy!”

“John, I will end you.”

“No need to be shy, Dave!” John said, moving so he was kneeling on the couch and staring right at the teenager. “Just because I’m not a homosexual doesn’t mean I’m going to judge you or anything. Rose always said it was just a matter of time before you came out!”

“First, why are you guys talking about what kind of people I want to go down on?” Dave asked, looking incredibly unimpressed. In truth, he was not at all surprised. Rose had been trying to be subtle about her nosing around, but it was pretty damn obvious. “Second, assuming I was more than bros with Tavros, does that really count as being a homosexual? I mean, he’s a troll. I’m pretty sure that deserves a whole new entry to the encyclopedia of sexualities.”

John paused and blinked, going to so far as to tilt his head as he thought about that one. “Yeah, I guess it is kind of different. But, I mean,” he started before looking over the couch, making sure Tavros was still busy trying to find the cups. When John spoke, it was in a whisper. “He’s still a boy troll, right?”

“Dude, for all you know, he could have a vag down there.”

“But that would be kind of weird.”

“You don’t even know.”

“Oh man, he really does?!”

“Keep it down. And yeah. It’s the sweetest pussy you’ll ever see.”

“Ok, wow, that’s really gross. But really?”

“You’ll never believe how wet he gets. Fucking gushers, and not the kind you buy at Walmart. You’d have to get this shit from Costco because it only comes in gross bulk.”

When Tavros wandered over with a couple glasses of water, the wide-eyed look that John gave him made Dave have to look away to keep from snorting. The troll’s brows furrowed as he asked, “Uhh, hi?”

John was biting his lip and Dave knew it was taking every fiber of self-control and embarrassment over the topic to keep him from blurting out his question. The silence stretched out, Tavros looking uncomfortable under the grossly intrigued gaze of the boy. Finally, after a minute of the staring contest, John went for the gold and looked down at his crotch.

“Ah man, you got me! I actually believed you for a second, and now you made me look at his troll bulge!” John cried, disgusted, but in that way that belied how much he enjoyed a good exchange of pranks. Dave was going to have to watch out for buckets of water now as retaliation.

Tavros did not take his inadvertent role in this joke well. He stammered and sputtered and just about dropped the glasses he was carrying. It was only Dave’s quick reactions that saved their drinks.

Once everyone was assured that Tavros had the troll equivalent of male anatomy and that no, Dave was no going down on it, they moved on to other topics less likely to make John and Tavros blush.

\-------------------------------------- 

“You’ve met other Daves, then?”

“Yup.”

“Huh. So. Which one is the coolest?”

“Hmm, that’s a good question! I don’t really know. Although I think you’re the oldest. So that kind of makes you pretty cool.”

“Cool.”

\-------------------------------------- 

“Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t know if this is kind of really rude, but um, why does John sort of say things weird?”

“Weird.”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s saying the same words as you, but they sound different? It’s, uhh, like he says them more sharply?”

“You mean our accents.”

“Oh. Ok, that’s an accent thing. Wow, those are really different for just accents.”

“They’re not really that different. My accent isn’t all that noticeable.”

“More different than troll accents are from each other. Uh, if you don’t include sea dwellers. His accent just seems really weird to me.”

“You think John is the one with the weird accent?”

“Is that bad? It just doesn’t sound normal to me. And it’s kind of hard to understand sometimes? Not a lot, but just little words he says weird, maybe.”

“Oh man. Tav, if you weren’t already an honorary Strider, I’d have to do that right now. You’re making me swoon here.”

“What?”

“One second. I have to go tell John that his Western lack of an accent can kiss my Texan ass.”

“Whoa, wait, what?”

“Metaphorically, dumbass.”

“Oh.”

 --------------------------------------

John was not around for particularly long. Evidently they did not get to sleep for very long back in reality – just long enough to keep from collapsing. He had warned them, but there was no preparing for the reality of it.

It came on quickly. John was in mid-giggle when he suddenly jerked. As he did, his body momentarily flickered in and out of sight.

“Christ, the fuck was that?”

“Oh, wow, haha, guess it’s time to wake up.”

“Is it always like that?”

“Well--”

John was gone. Back to reality, where his adventures continued with Alpha Dave and all the rest of them. Off to fight the good fight despite all the odds.

For the first time that he could remember, it did not bother Dave one bit that it was not his adventure anymore.


	9. In which Dave remembers that trolls should never surprise him, and Tavros is a nipple researcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 14: In which Dave remembers that trolls should never surprise him, and Tavros is a nipple researcher

It was hot again. Dave loathed the days that he woke up to find that he had recalled some freakishly hot day in his sleep before waking. This one, he recalled, had been one for the record books. Not the hottest day ever by any means, but it was the hottest of one of their more extreme heat waves. It was the sort of hot day that made you sweat just standing in place. His shirt stuck to him, his boxers stuck to him, the sheets and pillow and where Tavros’ elbow happened to be touching his were all slick and disgusting and stuck to him.

After taking as cold a shower as he could, there was no way the teenager was going to put on any more clothing than need be. Boxers were all the decency he was willing to give.

It had not occurred to Dave that there would be any objection until the moment that Tavros glanced over, paused, stared, and then looked away quickly. “Whoa, uh, Dave! I know it’s really hot, but I mean, I’m not supposed to see those things, right?”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Dave asked, even as he worked hard to keep his face straight. Before he had considered going without his shades – even just the feel of them against the sweaty sides of his face was a bit much – but now he knew it would be worthwhile to keep them on.

Tavros looked back over at him, concentrating on only looking at the teenager’s face. He had opted to wear a tank top and some shorts that Dave had gifted him with. Considering he went without underwear, they were officially Tavros’ now.

“Well, you said before that your, uh, nipples are something that are obscene, right?”

“Tav, chill. It’s only with girls that it’s sexual. No one gives a shit about dude nipples,” Dave explained with a shrug, strolling over before sitting down on the floor next to the troll. When it was hot, they tended to sit on the floor trying to not touch anything and watch movies set in the coldest places possible.

“But, you said--”

“And you believed me.” Dave smirked just the slightest bit as Tavros frowned at him in irritation.

“That’s not, uh, very nice at all. How am I supposed to know any better about stuff like, well, human biology?”

“It’s not my fault you don’t see a joke when it hits you.”

“You acted totally, probably serious.”

“When am I ever serious when I’m not yanking you chain?”

“Uh, sometimes?”

“Then you’ll just have to figure out how to tell the difference. Don’t worry. We have the rest of forever. You’ll catch on.”

“Sometimes I wonder why I enjoy being with you.”

“I dunno. I’m not a masochist myself. All I know is that I kick them down, and they come crawling back for me, getting all up in my grill, practically begging with dewy eyes for more of my abuse.”

“You lost me at, what was it? Masochist?”

“Look deep inside and you’ll find the truth.”

“What?”

“I believe in your ability to delve into your subconscious and realize what you truly want in life. Make Rose proud.”

“Seriously, Dave, I have no idea really what you’re getting at?”

“You get pleasure from pain, dumbass.”

“Oh. Doesn’t, uh, everyone though, at least a little bit? I don’t think it’s really, at all, weird?”

Dave was pretty sure that if he had been drinking something, he would have let himself do a spit take because if a moment deserved it, Tavros openly admitting to masochism was it. Instead, the teenager coughed. “Right. I forgot that trolls probably thrive on that shit.”

“Humans don’t?”

“Some of them. I sure as hell don’t. If anyone pulled that on me, I would kick their ass.”

“So you just, uh, like giving out the pain?”

“Not the pleasurable kind.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Now, are we done talking about your fetish for pain, because I am pretty ready to rip apart this movie about these fucking penguins.”

“Uhh, whoa, wait, but I don’t really have a strong one, I don’t think, really--”

“Yeah, see, I don’t really want to know about that. I’m putting in the penguin movie.”

“Right. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

\----------------------------------- 

It was thirty minutes into the movie – which had been the shittiest idea for a movie Dave had ever seen, but he kept watching just for the visual barrage of ice and glaciers – and still, the teenager would catch Tavros glancing over, staring a bit when he did not think that Dave would notice. Of course he noticed though. It was not exactly hard to when the choices of things to notice were penguins waddling around and your troll bro staring. Having glassy dead eyes did not help when Dave had long figured out how to read them.

“Tavros, you’re staring.”

“What?” Tavros asked, blinking and snapping his head forward again. Dave rolled his eyes.

“Dude, I know you were staring at my nipples.”

“Uhh, oh. Well you said it was ok, maybe, since they’re not girl nipples?”

“Still a bit weird to stare at them like that,” Dave pointed out, leaning against the couch for a second. He was going to rest his arms on it so that he would look like the pinnacle of cool and uncaring; however, it was still too hot, his back stuck to the futon, and he had to coolly make his retreat back to sitting up straight. “Besides, they can’t be all that interesting. They just sit there not doing much. It’s not like they’re having a Bar Mitzvah on my chest.”

Tavros stretched his legs out in front of him, still looking straight ahead as he awkwardly explained, “But trolls don’t have them, so uh, they’re kind of interesting to me?”

“My nipples.”

“Yeah?”

“They’re interesting.”

“Yes?”

“You’re just full of weird kinks today,” Dave commented flatly. Tavros flushed and started to stammer out something when the teenager interrupted him. “Yeah, no, I get that it’s less peep show sort of fascination and more sideshow act sort of fascination.”

The troll nodded and pulled his legs up, as if to wrap his arms around them. However, it only took a few seconds in the position to realize that too much skin was touching. Embarrassment gave into thermal regulation and Tavros stretched out his long limbs again. He cleared his throat before saying, “Uhh, yeah, it’s kind of like that. I didn’t really mean to make you feel weird or anything though, so I’m sorry if I made you feel sort of really awkward, if it did make you feel that way, and--”

“Tav?”

“Yeah?”

“Chill. It’s fine. We’ll just have to get it out of your system.”

“What?”

“Give me your hand,” was the only answer that Dave gave. His face was relaxed, emotionless, giving nothing away. The troll was hesitant, but with a single quirk of Dave’s brow, Tavros gave in. Dave could not help noting how much thicker troll skin felt. It was still soft to the touch, but more solid, and there was more of it between the surface and the delicate flesh beneath. Sometimes it made the teenager feel as if his own skin was pathetically thin and fragile in comparison. His skin was like paper while Tavros’ was like cardboard.

It brought up questions, but Dave decided that they would go unanswered.

Right now, Dave had a troll’s fascination with his nipples to appease.

So, without a word, he pulled the hand over so that Tavros’ fingers were pressed to one of the little guys. Unsurprisingly, Tavros flushed and sputtered and tried to tug his hand away.

“Whoa! Whoa, wait, wow, Dave, uh, I don’t think this is at all really ok for me to do?”

“Pretty sure I’m the one that put your hand there. Do you need verbal consent on top of that?” Dave asked, suppressing the need to shake his head as he pulled the hand back to his chest. “This is gonna make it easier for us both. Get out all your fascination now so that I don’t have to worry about your wandering eyes later.”

“But, I mean, can I really, sort of actually touch it?”

“It’s just a nipple so what do I care?”

“So those aren’t at all, uh, weird things to touch?”

“For some people they’re sick areas of pleasure--”

“Whoa, Dave, wow, I shouldn’t then _\--_ ”

“—Tavros, chill out and listen. They aren’t for everyone. I don’t get off to them at all. If I ever did, it was twisted out with one too many purple nurples.”

The troll was still on the verge of hyperventilation, his longest fangs digging into his bottom lip as his hand trembled in Dave’s grip. The teenager took the moment to slip off his glasses and look at the troll straight on.

“I wouldn’t let you touch them if it wasn’t ok, right?”

“Uhh, yeah, I guess?”

“We’re bros, so I wouldn’t be ok with you touching them if they were some sort of erogenous zone, right?”

“Yeah, that makes sense, I guess.”

“Alright. So it’s fine for you to get acquainted with them without flipping your shit, because for me it’s just like touching my elbow or something.” Dave paused for a moment before asking, “Trolls don’t have any weird things for elbows, right?”

“What? No. Not that I know of?”

“Cool. Then yeah. It’s like if you wanted to touch my elbow because it was fucking fascinating. Just go for it.”

“Really?”

“If I have to say yes one more time, I am taking away nipple privileges. All of them. You can kiss these dudes goodbye, because they will close up shop for good.”

Weird threats mixed with complete consent and promises that it was not weird seemed to be what Tavros needed. He did pull his hand away, but only so he could scoot up closer to Dave – but thankfully not close enough that their legs touched. It was bad enough that there was going to be any skin touching at all simply because of the heat.

But if Dave’s body heat bothered Tavros, the troll did not show a single ounce of it. His face was like that of some science nerd getting to finally get his hands on the subject he had studied for ages; focused, intrigued, and excited in the stupidest way. Dave simply went back to watching the penguins waddle around while the narrator told him about their stupid behavior patterns. Like the teenager gave a shit.

A finger was placed on the little nub, the touch light, tentative, careful. Dave almost snorted. It was so weird it was sort of hilarious.

Tavros moved his finger slowly from the nipple, across the darkened skin around it, and finally to Dave’s pale chest. He blinked and ducked his head for a closer look, noting aloud, “Whoa, it feels like the rest of your skin, kind of.”

“No shit, Sherlock. Nipples are made of skin. They’re gonna feel like skin.”

“Huh. That makes sense, I guess,” Tavros murmured before moving the tip of his finger back to right on top of the nipple. This time he pressed down enough that when he wiggled his finger, the skin moved with it. Dave tried to focus on how obnoxious the narrator’s voice was. “But it’s kind of more, um, wrinkly? Not in a bad way, really.”

“Thanks for that. I was pretty self-conscious about my wrinkly nipples.”

“No, but really, they’re sort of more fun this way, so it’s not a bad thing at all.” Dave glanced over at that and, when met with a genuine grin, had to look away and fight the urge to put his face into his palms.

“You’re fucking weird, you know that?”

“But they’re cool!”

“Fucking weird— _Christ_!” Dave, to his embarrassment, yelped as his nipple was lightly pinched and pulled. He grasped Tavros’ wrist and squeezed hard until the troll let go. “The fuck was that _?!_ ”

Tavros did not have the decency to even look ashamed of what he had done. Instead, he just looked confused and, of all things, disappointed. “Well, it moved around easily, so uhh, I wanted to see if it, you know, could be pulled, and maybe how far?”

“Yeah, well, no more of this fucking pinching and pulling shit, got it? All you get is touching,” Dave clarified as he gave the troll a look. “Is that understood?”

“But--”

“No buts. My nipples, my rules.”

“Just once more--?”

“I will take your privileges away.”

“Alright,” Tavros replied with a sigh. It was like Dave had told him that he only got to look at the cake, but would not get to eat it. For a moment, the teenager wondered if that meant they were done with the nipple exploration, but no. The fingers were back, touching and rubbing and poking.

Dave was staring at the penguins so hard that he was pretty sure he would be seeing them in his sleep.

He had not lied when he said his nipples were not sensitive. So far as he knew, they did not have a single pleasurable nerve in them. Hell, the teenager only really saw them as possible targets to be used in hostage situations, also known as the dreaded purple nurple. There were definitely no jolts of pleasure like what Rose would write in her wizard smut.

And yet, there was no accounting for the discomfort low in his stomach. It was just a little bit at first, but growing by the second. It was suspiciously similar to other feelings that he did not want to associate with Tavros.

The teenager was so focused on not noticing what was occurring with his chest that it was only when Tavros spoke like he had found the secret to life that Dave was forced to face reality.

“Whoa! Wow, is it supposed to get like this? It wasn’t really sticking out like this, uh, before. Wow, it’s more fun like this--”

“Yeah, ok, you know what? Nipple privileges are officially revoked,” Dave said, fighting hard to keep his tone from conveying the feelings that he refused to admit even to himself. Striders did not get flustered. They _never_ got flustered. Tavros’ wrist was already in his grip and held as far away from his chest as possible.

Of course, the conversation was not over with just that. Tavros was pulling the disappointed look again, asking, “But why? I was just touching. No pinching at all.”

“I don’t need a reason. I get to decide when this ends, and it’s ending now.”

“But--”

“No buts.”

The troll still looked disappointed, but he nodded. “Uh, yeah, ok. Can I just, you know, maybe ask why your nipples did that though?”

“They just do that sometimes.”

“Why?”

Dave used his free hand to make sure his shades were on his face right, keeping his eyes from view. “When it gets cold they do that.”

“Uh, Dave? It’s sort of not cold at all.”

“Look, it just happens, alright? Stop asking. We’re done here.”

“Wow, you’re getting really, sort of worked up over this?” Tavros commented, not accusingly, but softly, like a fact that no one wanted to hear. In this case, it was Dave who did not want to know he seemed worked up. “But why? You said it was ok because it wasn’t weird for you, right? Since for some people it’s, maybe, sort of obscene but you don’t get those feelings?”

Dave was pretty sure that the image of penguins was being burned into his retinas with how hard he stared at the screen and not at Tavros. “Tav. Stop. Just stop asking questions, alright?”

“But it’s not really like you had any of the awkward plea--”

“We’re done,” Dave snapped, releasing Tavros’ wrist and getting to his knees, ready to escape. However, he did not get far before his hand was the one being grabbed, tugging him back. The teenager knew he should not do it, but even so, he looked over at Tavros.

The troll’s eyes were wide, his brows raised, and even his mouth hung open. Shock. There was nothing to read there except shock and realization. When Dave pulled his hand, Tavros refused to relent.

“Tav, let go--”

“Were you feeling some pleasure?”

Dave was going to throw up. He was quite convinced he was going to throw up. Right then, right there, he was going to throw up his undead guts, and as disgusting as it would be, it would be better than this.

But he did not throw up.

The teenager sat there, his face twisted into something he hoped was indecipherable. Tavros’ eyes opened even wider; he swallowed hard and opened his mouth, as if to say something.

Dave yanked his hand away and scrambled to his feet. “Fuck the penguins. I’m going to just face this heat head on and let it fry me until I’m sizzling like bacon up on the roof. Or maybe I’ll go lay in the grass and lay there till I burn a brighter red than a lobster.” When Tavros shifted, as if to stand up too, the teenager put out his hands. “You stay right there. The penguins need you. Commune with the TV or something, I don’t give a fuck.”

“Dave--”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I have a date with skin cancer.”

With that he was off, not looking back even once until he was face down in some grass some distance away from the apartment building.

\----------------------------------- 

“Oh gog. I think I, uh, really messed up.”

The puppet just stared back with blank eyes, a stupid smile, and a ridiculously large rear end. Tavros sighed.

“You’re not much help at all, really, are you?”

The puppet continued to stare.

“There is definitely something wrong with me. Yeah. I’m just going to, definitely, not try talking to puppets again, ever.”

The puppet slid off the shelf and onto the floor. The troll yelped and jumped away, eyeing the object in horror.

“Oh gog, why?”

\----------------------------------- 

“Dave?”

“Shut up.”

“No, but uh, really, Dave?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“I still have to say it.”

“Fine.”

“You’re really, really stupid. Like, wow, I can’t even, uh, comprehend how stupid you are. I don’t really want to be mean but this is kind of probably a point where I have to be because wow. So much stupid.”

“Yeah, like I said. I know. Now give me the fucking aloe shit. I am going to take a bath in it for the next week, at which point my skin will shed like a cocoon and I will come out like a skin cancer butterfly— _fuck, ow, don’t touch my back, dumbass!_ ”

“Sorry?”

“You’re not fucking sorry at all. You’re so smug for a fucking troll who probably can’t even get sunburned and _fuckfuckfuck get your hand off, I will murder you in your sleep_.”

“Wow. Did you know you’re kind of sort of like Karkat when you’re angry?”

“ _I will break open your head on the kitchen counter, and I sure hope your dead corpse enjoys the skullfucking I’m going to give it afterwards before pissing on your remains. Hands. Off. **Now**._ ”

“Uhh never mind. You’re maybe scarier than Karkat.”

“Damn right. Now hand me the damn aloe.”

 -----------------------------------

Thankfully, dream sunburns healed faster than their reality counterparts. Soon enough Dave had all the skin he had fried peel off. While it had been hell, it got the message across, even if that was not how the teenager had planned on it doing so. The nipple incident was not brought up again since it was clear that Dave would rather fry his skin off and suffer for days from terrible sunburns than discuss it with Tavros.

It did not, however, keep the troll from thinking, or keep Dave from doing his damnedest to not think.

The heat wave passed, Dave put on his T-shirt, and that was the end of that.


	10. In which Tavros is a beast and Dave bleeds out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 15: In which Tavros is a beast and Dave bleeds out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, a quick thanks for everyone's kudos and comments!! You guys are absolutely lovely. <3

Dave had a feel for some of the trolls, and had a general mental picture of trolls based on what he had seen from Tavros and Equius.

The troll he noticed crouched in the grass and stalking him did not fit it at all beyond the grey skin and the horns.

All Dave had wanted was a stroll, and now he was being stalked by the littlest troll.

“Hey, I know you’re here. The whole entering my bubble thing tipped me off.” It was dead silent for a moment, at which point Dave sighed as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “The whole stalking me thing gave it away too. I know I’m pretty damn attractive, but there’s no need to be intimidated by my radiating coolness.”

There was a little whine that sounded a lot like a small child’s noise of disappointment. However, there was still nothing. Dave turned to face where the troll was hiding.

“Seriously. You can come out now. This is pretty pointless.”

Of all the things that Dave would have guessed that trolls could do, he would have never thought that pouncing was one of them. He would have never assumed he would get knocked down and pinned by a troll that looked like a little girl with the smile of a cat that caught a canary.

“Aww, AC was hoping that she would get to surprise the human!” she whined, even as she plopped down on Dave’s chest and grinned some more. “AC sits and pouts about her plans being ruined.”

Dave stared up at her before groaning and letting his head fall back against the asphalt. “Christ, Tavros didn’t tell me there were troll weeaboos.”

“Tavros?!” the troll squeaked, leaning forward until she was nose-to-nose with the teenager. Dave blinked, seemingly unperturbed. “Oh, I mean, AC asks ‘Is Tavros here?’”

“Are we capable of not talking in third person?”

“AC doesn’t understand what the weak human boy is talking about.”

“Dave is going to just assume you are mentally challenged. Furthermore, Dave asks that you get off so he can take you to his apartment and leave dealing with you to the stupid troll with hugeass horns.”

“Ooh, does Dave really live with Tavros?” the troll chirped, happily getting up and off, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She looked far too eager about learning this information. Then again, she was too damn eager in general. Dave sighed as he got up.

“At least you’re better than sweaty troll.”

The troll squealed shrilly and Dave was fairly certain his hearing was going to fail him at this rate. “Oh wow, is Equius here too?! I have been looking all over!” she said, now literally hopping. It took a moment to sink in, but soon enough Dave stared at her with a mix of confusion, a hint of horror, and a dash of homemade Strider poker face.

“No fucking way. You’re not his moirail.”

“But I am! Sooooo is he really here?! And what about you and Tavros?”

“I officially give up on ever understanding trolls. Let’s just get you to the local one and have you two talk it out.”

\------------------------------------------

Tavros was by far better at handling the bundle of troll energy than Dave was. In fact, he was pretty excited about seeing her. They happily chatted, switching between normal conversation and verbal role-playing with relative ease, while Dave sat back and just watched. It was fascinating in a weird sort of way.

In particular, when the troll – Nepeta, he reminded himself – suddenly went quiet and exchanged comments with Tavros so that Dave would not hear, he acted uncaring even as he strained to listen in. The little troll was good at keeping quiet, all things considered, so he did not hear much. However, there were definitely glances coming his way and Tavros was turning his infamous coppery tone. It was pretty easy to assume what she was asking about. Although when he caught the word ‘wall,’ things started to not make as much sense.

Eventually Tavros changed the topic by mentioning that Equius had been by. Nepeta was practically quivering with excitement as she listened, wanting to hear every detail of his visit. However, Tavros left the last minutes of Equius visit vague, saying that they just said goodbye and he left, and refused to give any details beyond that.

Nepeta did not seem particularly pleased that she had somehow missed Equius.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for him! I can’t calm him down if I’m not there.”

“I’m sure that you’ll find him eventually! I mean, it took a while for us to find Dave’s human guardian, so maybe it just sometimes takes a while for bubbles to meet.”

“But I miss him.”

“No need to look so sad. It’s, uh, it’s like a quest! You just have to make it to the end of the adventure to find him, right?”

The female troll tilted her head before smiling. “Yes, you’re purrfectly right! I’ll definitely find him!”

“Was that a cat pun?” Dave interjected without really thinking. It was just so over the top that it had to be his imagination.

“Mmm yup! Do you purrhaps think you’re too good fur pawssibly listening to them? Because I think they’re fun! Aren’t you feline better just hearing them?”

Dave snorted and Nepeta cheered. This was already going far better than Equius’ visit had gone.

\------------------------------------------

“The fuck are you doing? Your Darkleerkat can’t eat my Horseradish!”

“Sure it can. That’s how it works. It helps them boost their vitals. Wow, you’re really terrible at this game!”

“No way. I almost beat Tav once, ok?”

“Awww, Tavros, AC has never heard of you playing easy on anyone when it comes to Fiduspawn! That’s wonderfurly sweet!”

A clatter echoed from the kitchen as cheap plastic cups hit the floor. “Uhh, Nepeta, I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

Dave looked over his shoulder, staring at the guilty looking troll over the top of his shades. “Dave is pretty damn curious if Tavros has been playing easy on him.”

“Tavros is pretty sure that that would be silly and why would he do that?”

“Dave isn’t sure, but he _is_ sure that if this is true, he is never playing with you again.”

“Uh, Tavros is pretty confident that that never happened ever, definitely, never ever, so Dave should not think about never ever playing with him again?”

“Dave would like to continue this discussion, but is pretty sure the cat troll is purring now and that is kind of creeping me out.”

“That’s probably because of us.”

“I don’t want to know, do I?”

“No.”

“Aww, AC doesn’t want to interrupt! She happily gets up and leaves the two boys alone--”

“Oh no you don’t. I have one more stupid host plush and I will go down with this ship if I have to.”

Nepeta broke out into wild giggles while Tavros coughed and sputtered where he was. That was when it all came together. Dave groaned and let his face fall into his palms.

\------------------------------------------ 

Nepeta purred softly, curled up on Tavros’ lap.

“I’m really glad you’re here, Tavros. I wouldn’t want to be without any of my old furriends.”

“Wow, thanks. But Equius is around somewhere.”

“But I haven’t found him. I’ve only found Eridan, and he’s a jerk.”

“Whoa, Eridan is dead too? I didn’t, uh, know that Vriska would start, you know, killing everyone. I guess it’s my fault for being killed by her before I could, well, kill her.”

“AC tilts her head in confusions because she didn’t know that Vriska was killing anyone?”

“What? Uhh, wait, but then who killed you guys?”

Nepeta growled.

“I hope that someone kills him soon so I can get my claws on him again.”

“Him?”

“He was really nice before, but I can’t like anyone that would do that to Equius!”

“Nepeta, what are you talking about? Who could be strong enough to take down Equius without, you know, Vriska’s mind control?”

 ------------------------------------------

“Save all your joyful tears for later, ladies, for I have returned with your lost host plush. For the record, no one is allowed to play with the windows open anymore,” Dave stated with the sort of monotone that took years to master. It went completely unnoticed though as he opened the door to a scene that was completely unlike the one he had left.

“This isn’t at all funny!”

“I wouldn’t joke about the troll who killed my Equius!”

“Then you have to be mistaken, because I definitely know Gamzee, and he’d never, ever do something like that!”

“You’re an idiot!” Nepeta hissed, and frankly, Dave was surprised that Tavros had not backed down yet.

Although, one look and it was easy to see that the larger troll was fuming.

“I saw him! He shot Equius in the leg and then strangled him, and then he beat me to death! His blood finally made him snap!”

“Since when did you start going on about blood like your, uh, stupid moirail?” Tavros shouted, his fists tightening. “Gamzee didn’t act any differently because of his blood, so why would he start now? There must be something else that did it. Maybe Vriska was controlling him, or--”

Nepeta stalked up to Tavros and grasped the front of his shirt, tugging him down so they were face to face. She outright snarled, “I know who killed my Equius, and it was Gamzee. He went crazy and is trying to kill everyone, and you’re stupid for not believing me.”

“Shut up!” The female troll was shoved back with enough force that she tumbled and rolled, eventually crouched on the floor on the other side of the room. Tavros was quivering with rage. “Just shut up! You’re, you’re definitely lying to me, because that would never happen! Gamzee was my friend, and I can’t believe he would ever do that, so stop trying to tell me he did!”

“But he really did! He killed Equius in front of my eyes! He b _eat_ me!”

“Maybe there was a reason?!”

“There was no reason! He’s just killing everyone for fun--”

“You don’t know that!”

“Then why would he kill Equius?!”

“Maybe Equius deserved it!”

The deadly silence that fell was Dave’s signal that if something was not done soon, he was going to have to fix more holes in his walls and carpet.

Although, if he was honest with himself, he would admit that this seemed like it could result in more than just a couple holes to cover up with some plywood. The teenager was pretty sure this was not going to be bloodless.

Dave stepped between the two, his hands up, palms out. “Whoa, hey now. No fighting in the apartment, alright? I don’t have a whole lot of spackle left for anymore holes--”

“Stay out of this, Dave,” Tavros spat, and Dave could not help turning and giving him a look.

“I’m sorry, but what the fuck? This is my apartment, you’re my friend, so I’m pretty damn sure I’m not moving,” Dave stated flatly. No need to add to the tension with bitter tones. “Now you both are going to calm down and—the fuck do you think you are, Wolverine?”

Nepeta flexed her equipped claws. The once cheerful little troll looked down right feral. “I like you a lot, Tavros, but no one says that about my meowrail.”

“Ok, seriously, are you two serious or just fucking with me, because there’s no way she’d use the stupid puns if she was – _fuck_.” Dave ducked as Nepeta leapt over him. There was a smash and a crash, and by the time Dave was on his feet again, Tavros was throwing the hissing troll off of him and the shitty table next to the futon was just a pile of tinder. There was a thick, coppery substance rolling down Tavros’ cheek.

It occurred to him that it was probably Tavros’ blood.

There was still shouting, but it was deteriorating into a language that Dave simply could not comprehend. All he could really pick out was Equius and Gamzee. It did not take a vast knowledge of the alien language though to understand that things were quickly getting downright verbally abusive. Both trolls were getting increasingly livid by the second.

Tavros spat out some horrific garble of a phrase and it did not go down well. Nepeta bared her fangs and crouched, obviously preparing for her next attack.

Things were getting out of hand.

“Oh hell no!” Dave interrupted, equipping his sword and stepping between the two. “You need to chill the fuck out. Both of you.”

When Nepeta growled, Dave realized that Earth lions had nothing on her.

“Dave, get out of the way--!”

Everything moved so fast that it was hard to keep up with it all. Dave made the mistake of looking away for all of a second – to look over at Tavros, to tell him this was stupid, he was not moving and they had better get themselves under control – and that was when Nepeta pounced. His reaction was delayed that second, and that was all it took. The only option left to Dave was to parry with his sword to keep the long claws from burying themselves into his body. The claws made a terrible screeching noise against the metal.

Dave managed to throw her off, but she snuck in a swipe before she stumbled back. Dave shouted a cursed before clamping his mouth shut, steeling himself against the pain that gripped his body like a vice. It was a single swipe, but a lucky one that tore his right shoulder open, making clean slices through muscle and tendon. His sword dropped from his grip and his arm hung uselessly; his body screamed for medical attention, for something, anything to stop the bleeding.

Over the pounding of blood in his ears, Dave managed to hear Tavros roar with sheer rage.

Some delirious part of his brain made a stupid remark about bulls seeing red.

Tavros placed himself between Dave and Nepeta, staying close to the teenager, his back hardly an inch from Dave’s face. There was a god awful shout of something, and a hissed curse in return. The next time that Nepeta came close, the larger troll rammed his horns against her – not the points, Dave noted weakly, no more blood on his carpet – and flung her to one side.

Dave was not sure the trolls were even aware of what they were originally fighting over anymore. Fucking violent tendencies, fucking anger issues, fucking t _rolls_.

Fuck, there was a lot of blood dripping down his arm.

That was when he started to mentally call out for help. Dave was pretty sure there was no denying he needed it, because there was no way he could stop the two trolls that had started an all out troll blitz in his apartment; not with his sword arm out of commission and his blood not congealing fast enough to keep him from going dizzy as it all trickled out.

Again, Nepeta leapt and Tavros head-butted, but this time the female troll clung to the horns, riding out his thrashes, getting a few good claws into his back. Dave winced and reached out to grab his sword with his left hand, because he could not just stand there – but by the time he had it, Nepeta had been thrown off.

There was red and copper blood everywhere; even some green dotted here and there. Dave tried to tell them to stop again, but it was obvious the trolls were not listening.

Nepeta hissed something, Tavros spat something vile in return, and Dave was having a hard time even standing.

‘ _Fuck, fuck, seriously fuck just get your bubble over here right now fuck bubble get over to his bubble faster fuck--_ ’

And then there it was. That chilling feeling that ran from his neck all the way down his spine. Never had it felt so wonderful.

Just as Nepeta was about to make another assault, her whole body was picked up by the strong arm around her waist. She growled and snapped her head over, and finally, something that Dave could understand was spoken.

“Equius?”

“Nepeta, I think we will have to postpone our moment of reconnection as you explain just w _hat_ is going on here.”

“He started it! He’s being stupid and won’t accept the truth--”

“Because you have to be lying about something!” Tavros shouted. Dave slung his good arm up so that he could take a hold of the troll’s shoulder, squeezing it. When Tavros tried to shrug it off, the teenager only gripped tighter.

“Dave, they both seem to be blinded by rage. Would you mind explaining?”

“Yeah, great. Ask the guy who’s bleeding out to think,” Dave grumbled, tightening his hold on Tavros again, but this time to hold himself up. Tavros seemed conflicted between the need to stand in front of Dave like a meat shield to protect him and wanting to give up some of the protection to help the human stay standing. Instincts won out, refusing to let the troll give up his position as bodyguard, so Tavros just kept a close eye on him over his shoulder when he was not glowering at Nepeta. “Something about who it was that killed you and your feral moirail over there. Tavros thinks she’s lying.”

Equius was hard to read with his eyes hidden behind shades, but from years of living with Bro, Dave had gotten good enough at it to know that the troll understood. “I see. Tavros had a strong reaction to the fact that the high blood lost his mind.”

“He didn’t! You’re lying too!”

“Tav, I like you and all, but you need to just calm the fuck down,” Dave muttered, thankful for his shades as he winced. “Sorry for the short notice, Eq, but I’m going to have to ask that you leave and take Nepeta with you.”

“Not going to force us out with your mental strength?”

“If I could right now, you think I would have called for your help instead of solving this problem myself?”

Again, Tavros’ eyes were on him, and they were finally softening. It was clear that he was slowly coming back to his senses. Still though, his body trembled with rage.

“Dave, I have to finish this--”

“You aren’t finishing anything. All of you are done here.”

“But--”

“Sorry, can’t hear you over the fact that I’m bleeding out all the shits I give. You’re done.”

“You’ve harmed Nepeta.” It was not a question, but a statement of fact spoken like an accusation. Dave glanced over and groaned. Equius was looking down at the green blood on his hand, and despite Nepeta insisting she was fine, the troll looked ready to snap everything in half. Of course it would turn out like this. The troll who was supposed to be his savior was going into rage mode now over the injuries Nepeta had received.

“She attacked first! Besides, uh, you should definitely look at what she did to Dave!”

“It’s not my fault he got in the way!”

“There is no excuse for harming my moirail!”

“She is calling my best friend a murderer and has hurt my, uhh, my uh—Dave!”

“You’re confused feelings will not salve over what you have done this time!”

“ _Would you all just shut up?!_ ” Dave screamed. Dignity was beyond him anymore. He was panting, his body drawing in air hastily to make up for the oxygen not getting to his limbs the way it should, what with his blood pooling on the floor. It was finally starting to scab over, and the bleeding was very slow now, but that did not make up for what was lost. Maybe trolls were just used to bleeding and did not realize that shit was getting real; but it was, and Dave was ready to throw himself out a window to just make it all stop.

When the trolls grew quiet, Dave adjusted his grip on his sword. His left hand trembled as he gripped with it and his legs were quivering; if Dave had learned something, it was how to push through. He did not pay Tavros any mind when the troll protested his moving around him until he stood between Tavros and the other two trolls.

Dave lifted the sword and pointed it squarely at Equius.

“I don’t know who’s right, and I frankly don’t give a fuck. This is my house, and Tavros is my bro, and I will not let you pull any more of this shit.”

“I will not obey the orders of a lowly human--”

“I’ll make you.”

“You cannot make me do anything!”

“You swore to Tavros that no harm would come to me, so here I am asking what matters more. Your stupid troll fight, or your strong sense of honor.”

It was the shittiest escape plan he had ever come up with, and so incredibly cliché. To top it off, he was playing the role of the stupid damsel protecting her hero. But Dave was pretty sure he did not give a fuck about that either.

Equius ground his teeth. “I indeed swore that, and I will not harm you. I suggest you move so that--”

“No. That’s just it. If you stay here to fight Tavros, you’re gonna have to go through the pathetic, lowly little human that is bleeding out as we speak,” Dave explained, his face composed even as his sword shook like a leaf. “Can your sense of honor handle this disgraceful blood on your fists?”

“Dave--!”

“Tavros, swear to God, you will be next if you even _think_ of moving.”

“I would kill you,” Equius pointed out, his voice rough as he started to sweat and his teeth were grinding all the more.

Dave just snorted.

“Dude, in case you didn’t notice, I’m already dead. What’re you going to do, make me extra dead?” he asked, lifting the sword a little higher from where his arm had sagged. “Come on. Make my day. It’s not like you blue bloods really give a shit about promises or anything, right?”

“How dare you?”

“So what’s it gonna be, Eq? You gonna do what I say and get out with your dignity intact, or finally beat that lesson you’re always going on about into me, regardless of how big a douche it will make you look like?”

Equius was glaring daggers, but finally, without any warning, the two trolls were gone. There one second, not the next. As the invasive feeling left, indicating to Dave that yes, their bubbles were gone, his whole body grew lax.

The sword hit the floor and Dave left it right where it fell.

 “Well, fuck me, that was a busy day--”

Dave turned to find Tavros right there, already wrapping his arms around him, pulling him close, ready to support the entirety of the teenager’s weight if need be. But even so, Dave stayed standing, lifting his good arm so that his hand rested against the nape of Tavros’ neck. The troll was shaking worse than he was.

The teenager did not have time for passing out just yet.

“Hey. Relax. It’s over.”

“But—oh jegus, it’s all my fault, all of it, definitely,” Tavros croaked out, pulling away just enough to stare wide-eyed at the claw marks that dug deep into Dave’s arm. If it was possible, the teenager would say that the troll was growing pale. The trembling seemed to be from a mixture of horror and the anger still swimming around in Tavros’ veins. “Jegus, Dave, I’m uh, I’m so sorry, shit--”

“Dude, you’re not listening.” He slipped his hand over to press it against Tavros’ cheek, drawing the troll’s gaze away from the blood. “I’m fine. Dizzy as fuck, and probably gonna pass out eventually, but I’ll be fine.”

And there were the first of bitter, copper tears. “But it’s still my fault it’s there.”

“Nah. Besides, worse things have happened. You know, like dying? I should be asking if you’re ok.”

Tavros shivered and closed his eyes, shaking his head. “No, no it’s you, you’re hurt, it’s uh, you who is important, and I can’t--”

“How about we just call it a draw, sit down, and you can hold me up while I let you scream and cry or whatever it is you need to do.”

“But--”

“Tav, I seriously need to sit down. You need an emotional breakdown. Let’s just do this already.”

It was less sitting and more collapsing to the ground. Tavros crumpled around Dave, clinging to him as he took shaky breathes. It was almost startling how calm the teenager felt, all things considered. It was as if all the fucks in the world had bleed out along with the blood. Not mad, not sad, not even annoyed about the stains or the numbed pain radiating from his shoulder. Either he was too tired, or he was all emotioned out.

But Tavros was not anywhere close to there. Judging from how tightly his hands were fisted in the back of Dave’s shirt, how his breath was wet and uneven, and yes, there were definitely tears everywhere now, the troll was drowning in emotions.

“Hey,” Dave murmured, his hand finding the little hairs on the back of Tavros’ neck. “It’s really ok. Don’t keep all that shit locked up. I think it’s bad for you trolls.”

“But, you don’t really like the strong emotions, really, at all, and--”

“Frankly, I can handle pretty much anything as long as all I have to do is sit here. Besides, you were there when I flew so far off the handle that I forgot it even existed in the first place, right? Can’t a guy return the favor?”

There was a sniffle – the big, beastly troll that was just five minutes earlier roaring and throwing the Wolverine of trolls through the air, s _niffling_ – before there was a quiet, nearly silent sob that sounded like words.

“What?”

“Can’t be.” Another sniffle, wetter than the last, and it occurred to Dave that this shirt was never going to be wearable again. “It can’t be true at all, no way, it c _an’t_.”

“Then it isn’t.”

“But why would she lie? Maybe, maybe she isn’t, uh, but then, no, it just can’t be, dammit!” Tavros squeezed so hard that for a moment, Dave found it difficult to breathe. But he figured that he had already lost blood, so what did he need air for?

It was possible that Dave lost consciousness for a second, or even a minute or two, but it went unnoticed. He just went back to running his fingers through the end of Tavros’ mohawk. “So this guy is your bro.” There was no verbal response, but a careful nod. Dave tried to make a face, but his face was not working that well. It was ok. Tavros could not see it anyway. “Sorry to hear that. But I think you already know what you think is the truth.”

“But I don’t really want to admit it because, it’s, it’s _Gamzee_.”

“Yeah.”

Tavros nuzzled his face against Dave’s neck, tears seeping into his shirt and dripping down his skin; the way the troll’s nose bumped against his collarbone was almost endearing. There was no accounting for feeling like anything was endearing at that moment, but maybe it was just being able to be here for Tavros.

“Can we, please, not really talk about that?”

“You lead the conversation. Change it up.”

When Tavros spoke, his breath was hot and moist against Dave’s skin.

“I’m really sorry. I can’t believe you got hurt, and that I uh, couldn’t stop it, definitely didn’t do anything to protect you, didn’t keep her from hurting you--”

“Hey, whoa, slow down,” Dave interrupted, threading his fingers up further onto the troll’s head, slowly rubbing it. “Don’t lead the conversation that way. It’s not your fault. It was mine for getting distracted.”

“But I want to protect you!” There was not just sadness there now – there was frustration. The anger was making another appearance. “I don’t ever want to see you hurt, ever! No one gets to hurt you! _No one_! Not Dave, not my--”

“Whoa, whoa there, Tavros, come back to reality for a second. It’s been a while since I filed your nails and that is not pleasant in my back.” Immediately the nails were gone, as well as Tavros’ hands. The only thing that kept the troll from pulling away altogether was how Dave grasped his hair to keep from falling backwards. “Fuck, I didn’t say let go. Is it too much to ask for some support without nails in my back?”

And the hands were back, gentler now, holding the teenager like he was a fragile piece of glass. Tavros murmured an apology, which Dave would have shrugged off if it would not have involved moving his wounded arm. He just patted the troll’s head and told him it was fine instead.

“So. Was that fuckstorm you threw over your friend, me getting cut up, or a healthy dose of both?”

“Uhhh, both, and other stuff?”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“I don’t know if, really, it’s ok to talk about? It wasn’t important, but just sort of made everything more, uh, emotional, and made me more mad that you were hurt.”

“Ok. Sorry to hear that. Christ, how much shit do you have up there? How are you gonna get through all this emotional baggage and sobbing before I conk out?”

“Whoa, are you serious about, you know, passing out?” Tavros finally pulled his face back to where Dave could see it, although he was still supported by big troll hands. He could not remember when they had gotten so big. But then Tavros was removing his glasses and staring at him, those white, glassy eyes tinted orange from tears, and it was clear that the troll was worrying about him now. “Dave, why are you even trying to be all cool and here for me, when you’re not ok at all? How is it possible to be that pale?”

Dave sighed and shook his head a bit. “I’m fine. I’m kind of in that place where it doesn’t hurt anymore, but I am not quite down for the count yet. Like I said, you’re the one with emotional distress.”

“But I should, um, be getting you something to bandage that up and, maybe, lay you down and stuff--”

“Tav. I’m not going to die. It’s no big deal. Talk to me till I pass out.”

“But--”

“Shh.” Dave weakly tried to pull himself up with the arm around Tavros’ neck, but he did not get very far. “Little help here?” The troll frowned, but pulled him closer. Dave could manage to pull himself up the last inch after that, bringing them nose-to-nose. People liked closeness; it was comforting, and that was what Tavros needed from him. “Alright. That works. Now. Shhh. Just let me help you out, ok? I don’t have big fucking horns, but I have ears and one good shoulder you can sob your heart into. Let me do this. I promise I’ll stop and do my thing when I pass out. Scout’s honor. I won’t do a goddamn thing after I pass out.”

Which, in truth, was coming on fast. It was getting hard to even see Tavros’ face, and it was right there in front of him. Dave could not make out the troll’s expression.

A moment passed, and then Tavros was hugging him again, his face buried into Dave’s shoulder. The teenager returned to absently pulling at Tavro’s hair.

“Dave?” It was weak. Quiet. Dave bit the inside of his lip, trying to keep from passing out just yet.

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna only say this one more thing, but then I am going to stop talking and, uh, take care of you, and you’ll let me, ok?”

“Can’t really stop you, can I?”

“No.”

“Alright. I relent. Go for it.”

“I think I sort of maybe figured something out, kind of?”

“You don’t say. And what’s that?”

“I don’t think that I should really say it.”

“Bullshit. Come on. Lay it on me.”

“Uh, well, I, I think I kind of, um.”

Dave’s fingers stopped moving.

“No, not think really, I sort of know that, uh, Dave, I--”

Dave arm lost its strength and slipped from its perch.

“Shhh.”

“I—but, you said--”

“I know, but, save it for when I’ll hear it, ‘kay?”

With that, the teenager promptly slipped into unconsciousness.


	11. In which Dave tells himself it was just the pail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 16: In which Dave tells himself it was just the pail

If there was one thing that Dave could say he loved about being dead and living in the bubble, it was that he could wake up after passing out from blood loss from having his muscles and ligaments torn open in his shoulder, and all that would be left in the morning was smooth, pasty white skin.

Said shoulder still hurt like a son of a bitch, and Dave was pretty sure it would be a while before it ever stopped aching. No big deal though. He had lived through pain before, he could live through this. Or, rather, be dead through it.

Dave took a deep breath and consequently yawned, squinting open his eyes. No shades were on his face, but that was not a problem either.

He was laid out in his bed wearing clean pajamas. Dave almost assumed that Tavros must have been walking around the apartment until he glanced over.

The troll was, in fact, fast asleep. He was sitting on the floor with his arms and head leaning on the edge of the bed, his head kept upright only because of one of his horns working as a bike stand for it. Tavros’ cheeks were stained orange and under his eyes were what had to be dark circles, though in his case they were orange-brown. No doubt he had not stopped having his breakdown just because Dave could not stay awake anymore.

Dave could not believe he was thinking it, but he felt bad for not staying conscious long enough to help his friend out. Hell, he had no doubt made it worse by passing out on Tavros.

Bleeding out was a pain sometimes.

It seemed that Tavros had given up the entire bed for Dave, taking up only the space to lean on. But it was obvious that the troll could not help his clingy tendencies. Dave’s left hand had been taken captive, pressed down into the bed by Tavros’. The teenager tried to remember the last time anyone had held his hand. He could not come up with a single time that did not involve one of the Old Birds.

No doubt as a baby he had tried to hold Bro’s fingers, since that was what babies did. But it was likely soon replaced with his guardian pressing his fist to Dave’s tiny little baby one; his first little baby bro fist.

The hand holding business was not so bad, he decided. But only when one or both of them were asleep. This would not pass muster if they were both awake and aware of what was occurring.

“You look like shit,” Dave muttered, wincing as he lifted his right arm to try rubbing at Tavros’ cheeks and get rid of the dried tears. The muscles in his shoulder burned.

For a moment it looked like he had accidentally woken Tavros up. He made a face, but instead of waking, the troll just let out a snore and his fingers tightened around Dave’s hand.

Dave snorted.

“Well, look who’s awake.”

“Is it officially Troll Season in my apartment or something?” Dave asked. Aradia smiled from where she stood in his doorway.

“You finally got your bubble over to where everyone else is. You’re bound to bump into other bubbles around here,” she explained. The female troll stayed where she stood. “How does the arm feel?”

“Like Hell fires. I think my muscles were replaced with burning coals.”

Aradia gave him a sympathetic look. “Dream bubbles are good about fixing you up when they reset, but you can’t do much about the memory pain.”

“Yeah, see, that was a lot of stuff I did not understand at all.”

“Did I not mention before that when you sleep, it’s like resetting?” Aradia asked innocently. Judging from the look on her smug face, Dave knew better. “That’s why things always change when you’re asleep. When you sleep, it gives your bubble time to recalibrate and reset itself. The weather changes and you grow while you’re asleep because of that. It picks out things from your memories, both from your life and your afterlife, and uses them to remake the bubble.”

“Great. So that’s why my arm isn’t torn to shit. But that doesn’t explain why it still hurts like a sonuvabitch.”

“The bubble only resets the environment. It can’t reset your memories. In your head, your arm is still injured. It will take a couple days of using it like normal to change your memories. The memory pain should go away then.”

Dave ran his hand through his hair, sighing just slightly as he fought back the wave of pain. “Cool. My head is messing with me. Always figured it would be my mind that would go first.”

“Dave, you’re not exactly that old yet.”

“I’m dead. I can complain about being old if I want to.”

Aradia smiled.

“He has been with you ever since you passed out.”

“How do you know? Did you show up just after I blacked out, because if so, maybe next time your fellow trolls are fighting in my apartment, you can try to actually help.”

“I flew as fast as I could,” the female troll said with a frown. “But I was too late.”

“Figures.” Dave did not say anything beyond that, but instead just glanced back down at the troll lightly snoring at his side. The thought of Tavros sitting there, sobbing his little troll heart out over all his own problems while making sure that Dave had not somehow died twice over, was sort of nice.

“He’s so stupid.”

Aradia gave him a stern look. Before she could start in, Dave interrupted, “No, I get it, he’s nice and more worried about everyone else than he ever is about himself, and so damn genuine it hurts. But he’s a nice, caring, genuine idiot.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because with all the people he gives a shit about before himself, he included me.”

Dave refused to meet Aradia’s eyes. No doubt she would have something to say about that, and frankly, the teenager did not want to hear it. So instead he focused on the hand on his. Dave lifted it just a bit, blinking and inspecting the troll’s fingers. He laughed softly. “Christ, he even filed his nails all on his own,” he commented, running his thumb along the tips of Tavros’ fingers. “Did a shitty job too. I didn’t think it was possible, but that is a really shitty file job. I’ll have to fix those fuckers when he wakes up.”

Somehow a smile had ended up on his face. Dave moved his mouth back into a neutral position.

“It hasn’t happened yet, has it?”

That got Dave’s attention. He stopped inspecting the troll’s nails to look up and quirk his brow.

“You’ve seen me and Tav in the future.” It was not a question, but a statement of fact. Aradia smiled awkwardly.

“It’s not really the future, since time does not really exist. I was exploring where I had not been before and just happened into your bubble in a place where you two were further along the path.”

“If you tell me what it is that happens, and I don’t do it, will it change shit and make everything like a bad remake of that movie with the DeLorean?”

“I don’t know about DeLoreans, whatever those are, but there’s no timelines here, so there are no alpha timeline or doomed dead ends. If something happens and you changed your path, then it just changes.”

“You sure?”

“Pretty sure, yes.”

“We can always test it.”

Aradia smiled and shook her head. “As much as I love a good adventure, I’d rather not risk changing the path you’re on. I like the outcome.”

“Maybe I want to change it.”

“Nope!” Aradia finally entered the room, careful to lean over Tavros so as not to disturb him. “Trust me, I know that you like the outcome too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yup. Because I also know that someday you’re going to thank me for not saying a word.”

“No way.”

“You’ll see.”

“You’re a tease.”

Aradia giggled and leaned over to place a careful kiss to the teenager’s forehead. “Maaaaybe, but you’re worse than me.”

“Damn right. I am the king of tease.”

“I don’t know how he puts up with you.”

“What?”

And with that, Aradia was gone.

Dave sighed and let himself fall back onto the bed. He was not at all tired anymore, but he did not really want to move either. His shoulder was pretending to hurt like he was ripping it apart with his own blunt teeth, he did not have his shades, and Tavros still had his hand trapped in his own.

Some small part of his brain pointed out it would not be hard to escape that latter excuse, but Dave ignored it.

It made his stomach churn, but he did not mind the discomfort of it anymore.

“The fuck is wrong with me?”

\-------------------------------------------

Tavros groaned groggily, blinking his eyes open. Dave waved his hand once in greeting.

“Morning, sleeping beauty. Nice to see you’ve joined the dead again—Holy shit!”

“Dave! Oh jegus, wow, you’re awake!”

“No kidding? I hadn’t noticed. I was too busy being crawled all over like a jungle-gym and fuck, watch the shoulder, would you?”

“Oh, sorry, I’m really sorry, I just am really, definitely happy to see you’re awake and ok!”

“I’m already dead. How could I get worse?”

“Uhh, well, you’re not bleeding anymore?”

“Touché. I assume you aren’t either.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Cool. So.”

“Yes?”

“You almost done straddling me?”

“Oh, wow, right, sorry, I um, ok, is this not weird now?”

“Tavros, you’re spooning my side.”

“Is that weird?”

“How about we try something that does not involve me laying in this bed. Or you touching me. Actually, I think you not touching would solve a lot of problems.”

“But, I don’t want to stop touching?”

Dave sighed and put a hand to his forehead.

“Is it possible to make you revert back to that time when you were afraid to do anything I didn’t promise was ok?”

“Uhh, no.” Tavros grinned and of all things snuggled closer. “I like not being, you know, afraid to do what I want. And you’re the one who definitely said I should be confident.”

“That was when I wasn’t being used like a body pillow.”

“Whoa. That’s gross. Why would you make a pillow out of a body?”

“This conversation is over.”

“Ok.”

“Oh man, look who came to join us for this rad, totally not weird spooning party.”

“What?”

“Pretty sure that’s Lil Cal right behind you.”

Tavros yelped and jumped, scrambling off the bed. It was only after Dave was already sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed that the troll noticed that the puppet was nowhere in sight.

“Um, that was a lie, wasn’t it?”

“Had to get you off somehow, and I didn’t have a crowbar handy.”

“Rude.”

“Never said I wasn’t.” Dave paused then, looking around until he spotted his shades placed neatly on the table next to his bed. Once they were on, he went to work. He grabbed the back of Tavros’ shirt and yanked it up.

“Whoa, Dave!”

“Cool. Looks good,” Dave commented, noting that all the claw marks were gone. Next he turned Tavros to face him – damn troll had gone and grown an inch in his sleep again – and roughly rubbed at his cheeks, intent on rubbing the orange out. “You all emotioned out?”

It was difficult to rub away Tavros’ dried tears when he was blushing; it was no easy task to see copper tears on copper cheeks.

“Yeah, uh, I think so, mostly. Sorry, again, for all of that.”

“No problem. Shit happens. No doubt where human teenagers get horny and hormonal, trolls get fucking violent.”

“Well, we’re usually violent anyway? But I think that we’re sort of more violent from six sweeps to about, uh, eight sweeps.

“I’m just going to assume those are the troll teenage years. I’ll just have to try my best to survive them.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop worrying.” Dave gave the troll a slap on the back before turning to leave the room. “And Tav?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time, don’t put me in these pajamas. I’m white enough as it is. I don’t need to start sparkling in the sunlight too.”

“But they aren’t sparkly?”

“The dude whose team my pjs say I’m on does though, and that’s too close an association for me to live with.”

Dave stopped just as he was about to leave, turning his head.

“Speaking of gay tools, where’s the file?”

\-------------------------------------------

As much as Dave appreciated that the blood was not staining his carpet, he did not appreciate that it had just been somehow dream-moved into the kitchen. He would have preferred not having to clean it up at all. But there it was, in what almost looked like a neat pile – as neat a pile as someone could make with blood anyway – in the middle of the kitchen.

It was not going to stain now at least.

“Tav?”

“Yeah?”

“This is how you’re going to make up for the fighting in the apartment shit. You’re cleaning this up.”

The troll pulled a face, but Dave just gave him one in return that spoke volumes of how there was not going to be a debate. It was going to happen.

“Fine. But how?”

“How else?” Dave asked, carefully stepping around the large puddle and making it to the sink. He picked up the sponge by the sink and threw it in Tavros’ direction. “That’s a sponge. You won’t be using that until you soak up most of that with this.” A couple of Sham Wow towels were flung at the troll as well, one of which draped over his horns. They were bought for ironic purposes, but damn if they were not useful.

“But, I don’t really think these towels can pick up all that blood?”

“That’s why you wring them out, dumbass. I’m getting there.” The teenager bent down to open the cabinet under the sink and yank out the pail hidden underneath. It had come with the apartment and was old, dented, and the handle squeaked when it was moved. But it did the job.

It did not even occur to Dave that it would be a problem until he noted the sharp intake of breath from across the kitchen.

“Yeah, by the way, we need to have a discussion about pails,” he started, turning around to lean against the counter, the pail in question swinging from his hand. Tavros’ face was practically orange. There was no stammering, however, as the ability to talk walked out on the troll. All he did was stand there, his mouth agape.

It was hard not to laugh.

“Before you get excited, this is an Earth bucket, not some troll sex toy. This here pail is used for cleaning, and cleaning alone.” Dave dropped the pail into the sink with a clatter. Tavros jumped and gasped just a little bit.

Dave smirked.

“Tav, seriously, time to put your sleeping bag back into the garage, because there is to be no pitching of tents today over this bad boy.”

“Whoa, I’m not, really, uh--”

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Anyway, um, ok. I mean it’s weird but, I guess I can, uh, try to just think of Earth pails as totally different from troll pails.” Tavros sounded far from certain, but it was enough.

“Cool. Let’s do this then,” Dave said as he turned around to grab the soap. With a generous dollop of it hitting the bottom of the pail with a plop, he flipped on the faucet.

The sounds of water hitting metal could only cover up so much, and what it failed to cover up was the low whine from across the kitchen. Dave’s eyes widened and he slapped the faucet handle back down, stopping the flow of water as he turned.

Tavros had his hands over his mouth and was trembling slightly.

It should not have been doing the things to Dave that it was.

“Tav.”

The troll only nodded in acknowledgement that his name had been spoken. Evidently he no longer trusted his own voice.

Dave turned back to the sink, even though he did not turn on the water again just yet. “Never mind, I’ve got it.”

“Um,” Tavros managed before taking a moment to swallow hard. “But, you wanted me, to do it anyway, and uh--”

“Too late, I’m already pronouncing myself king of Earth cleaning utensils. Don’t even think about touching my subjects. I can handle them on my own.”

For once, there was no further argument. Instead, Tavros quietly said, “Ok, thanks,” and escaped the kitchen. Once Dave heard the door to the apartment open and close, he figured the coast was clear. He returned to filling the pail with water.

Alright, so that had been an awkward interaction, but it was bound to happen. They were a couple of teenage boys living in close confines. There was going to be times when things would come up and the other roommate would happen to be around. It was awkward, but it happened.

It was no big deal that Dave had just witnessed Tavros getting off to the pail.

Because it was the pail.

Just the pail.

It was like the time he caught Bro watching that porno. No biggie. All parties involved needed to just move on because there was no direct awkwardness. Bro was getting off to porno. Dave accidentally walked in.

Dave was filling his pail with water. Tavros accidentally got turned on. But just because it was a pail with shit sloshing around in it. It had nothing to do with Dave.

“Fuck,” Dave muttered before heaving the pail out from the sink and moving to get to work on the pile of blood. He just needed to forget it and move on.

It was just the bucket, he told himself. Just the fucking bucket.

\-------------------------------------------

Tavros had his hand clamped tight to his mouth. Even as the need to muffle indecent noises passed and the troll went quiet, his hand stayed in place, as if just in case.

The evidence of what had just occurred still clung to his other hand.

Tavros did not feel at all relaxed or satisfied. In fact, he curled up all the tighter in the corner of his room.

“Shit.”


	12. In which Tavros confesses something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 17: In which Tavros confesses something

The kitchen was eventually clean again, Tavros came back looking every bit awkward and guilty, and Dave acted like nothing had ever happened. The game of pretend had rubbed off and the week passed with the two young males acting like nothing had happened.

And then there was Rose.

“Interesting.”

“For fuck’s sake, you’ve been here for what, an hour?”

“I’m sorry, I thought you didn’t like pleasantries very much, and you don’t show much interest in what is going on in reality. So why not delve into the topic at hand?”

“There is no topic at hand. These hands are completely void of topics. Take a look for yourself. Gaze upon these topic-less hands.”

“If this is an attempt to distract me with your not-so-clever rebuttals, I’m afraid I’m going to have to inform you it was in vain.”

“Seriously, check out these hands.”

“I refuse to go so low as having to explain to you that that was a metaphor. Surely this life in dream bubbles has not robbed you of what intelligence you had.”

“I’m still not talking about it though.”

“There’s no need to. I’m fairly certain I have it all figured out.”

“Doubt it, considering this metaphorical topic does not exist, and even if it did, it bought a metaphorical ticket to the metaphorical Bahamas before you showed up so it could avoid being metaphorically psychoanalyzed.”

“So you admit that it could exist as a topic to be discussed?”

“Rose, come on. I don’t wear shades because I’m blind. I get why people assume something could happen. We’re a couple of young dudes mixing it up in a small apartment, we’ve had our emotional moments, he has no problem with dudes and I sure don’t--”

“Oh.”

“—Way to interrupt me being realistic about the situation.”

“Sorry. It’s just that I don’t believe you’ve ever admitted anything about your sexuality so openly before.”

“Oh.”

“Like I said.”

“It’s probably from hanging around these damn trolls. I’m getting used to it being assumed I dig guys.”

“Because they don’t assume your orientation is exclusive, or because they assume that you and Tavros are in a romance?”

“You realize that you’re my sister from the same mister, right?”

“Because that was incredibly relevant to the conversation at hand.”

“I don’t know from experience, but I’m pretty sure sisters aren’t supposed to be shoving their brothers into relationships, let alone ones with trolls.”

“I would not know since we are only siblings by the bonds of genetics. Otherwise, you are like every other cool dude that is hiding what he believes to be uncool emotions behind facades to the point where he himself believes his lies and blinds himself to discovering the truth.”

“Ouch. I thought we had something, Rose.”

“We do. It’s called friendship. And that’s why I am here instead of just writing you off like I would anyone else.”

“So you’re trying to convince me that I have romantic feelings for Tavros because you care.”

“Yes.”

“You sure John didn’t put you up to this?”

“John and his lack of ability to see that sexuality is on a three dimensional spectrum rather than being black and white is a whole other conversation.”

“He’s running around telling everyone I’m gay, isn’t he?”

“When he asked me if I knew if you were a homosexual, he had to whisper it in my ear.”

“You should try explaining pansexuals to him someday. I think his head would explode.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“No. No way. You actually tried to.”

“How else was I supposed to explain why I did not mind Kanaya’s advances?”

“I get it now.”

“What?”

“You’re all on my case about Tavros because you’re already getting some sweet troll loving and think I should try getting in on the action. That’s sweet of you, sis, but I have to say, I think you’re still a bit young for that sort of business.”

“I never said we had established any sort of romantic relationship, let alone a physical one.”

“Yeah, whatever. You’re not the only one that can read between the lines.”

“Make whatever assumptions you want. It won’t make them true.”

“Rose, you’re blushing.”

“Shut up.”

There was silence for a moment. Dave glanced around before leaning close.

“Hey, I’m gonna asked you a question, and you better not ask why I would ask.”

“I make no promises.”

“Does she have a weird fascination with nipples too?”

“What?”

An awkward pause.

“Yeah, never mind, I was getting too into this honesty shit. That was stupid. I’m officially striking it from the record.”

“Does Tavros--?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Have you let him--?”

“Conversation is over.”

“How is it possible to even breathe when you’re that deep in your denial?”

“Years of practice. Lungs of steel. Occasionally sitting under a waterfall.”

\-----------------------------

“Tavros?”

“Oh. Hello Rose! Are you and Dave done talking?”

“More or less. I thought I should come and chat with you as well, since you are the sentient being he has chosen to live with.”

“Uh, ok?”

“Good. Why don’t we sit down and make ourselves comfortable?”

“Sure, I guess, but are we going to talk for that long?”

“That all depends on you, Tavros.”

“What?”

“Why don’t you tell me what it was like growing up as a troll? How was your relationship with your Lusus?”

\-----------------------------

An hour after Rose had somehow managed to escape his careful eye – there was no doubt that they were genetically related considering how she had to have some of Bro’s mad ninja skills to sneak out on him – she returned with Tavros. The troll was a mess, still rubbing at his cheeks as the tears finally waned.

“You didn’t.”

“I have to look out for my brother, don’t I?” Rose smiled that slightly mischievous smile of hers.

Tavros sniffled. “Dave, I’m just going to go to sleep, ok?”

“Do it. The first analysis is always the worst.”

“Uhh, there’s more?”

“Well, we weren’t able to get into your feelings about becoming handicapped for a time. I’m sure that there are a plethora of conflicted feelings there. And, of course, your first pail, which I hear is a very important experience for trolls--”

“Rose.”

“Yes?”

“For the sake of Tavros’ tear ducts that are going to dry up at this rate, I’m afraid I’m kicking you out before you traumatize him anymore. Bros before hos, even if the ho is your sister.”

“You can’t just--”

Rose was gone, and as much as Dave appreciated her as a friend, he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thanks, Dave.”

“No problem. Just be careful. Next thing you know, she’s talking psychosexual stages, and you will be scarred for life.”

“Oh. That doesn’t sound good at all.”

“Nope. It’s weird shit. Now go lay down. You deserve it.”

\-----------------------------

“Hey, Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Uhh.”

“Yes, Tavros?”

“Never mind.”

\-----------------------------

“Dave, I was maybe thinking.”

“Wow. I’m shocked. About what?”

“Uhh.”

“That’s informative.”

“Never mind, I forgot.”

\----------------------------- 

“Dave, can we talk?”

“My mouth is capable of moving and I can hear through my ears, so yeah, conversation is possible.”

“Ok, then, umm.”

“Are we really doing this again?”

“Never mind.”

\----------------------------- 

Dave woke up to find a note on the bed next to him.

‘Dave you should make me talk about something that I need to talk about.’

He rolled his eyes, crumpled up the note, and tossed it out the door.

“Tavros, grow some fucking balls, would you?”

The teenager rolled over to nap for a little bit longer. If there was one thing he did not mind missing as he slept, it was his roommate’s weird behavior. Dave did not know what it was that Tavros wanted to say – maybe he was doing something totally rude by troll standards – but this pussyfooting around was driving him up a wall.

He did not need to deal with this sort of business first thing in the morning.

 -----------------------------

Dave was in the kitchen getting himself something to drink when Tavros finally made his move. The troll walked in and cleared his throat. “Dave, I’m definitely going to say it now.”

“Finally. Let’s hear it before you change your mind again,” Dave replied, placing the glass to his lips as he watched with interest. Tavros looked uncomfortable, swallowing hard as he scratched the back of his neck. His face was already a light copper color. It was obvious that he was not mad or insulted by anything, so Dave could check those off the list. He looked mostly nervous and maybe embarrassed. Maybe he wanted to borrow Dave’s pail, and was just too shy to ask and too honest to steal it. Dave was not sure that he was ready to give up his pail, even if it was for his bro’s personal needs. He had cleaning needs, and he could not fulfill those knowing his pail was like used like a troll sex toy.

That brought up all sorts of things he did not need to think about.

“Do you sort of remember when I said I had realized something when Nepeta and I had that fight?”

Dave took a moment to think before saying, “Kind of. It’s hazy, but yeah.”

“Ok. Good. I guess. Maybe?” Tavros bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Uh, but it’s that. I think I should tell you that thing I didn’t say because you were sort of, well, passing out from blood loss.”

Dave did not say a word, but his stomach dropped without informing him as to why.

“I kind of have been thinking for a while. Since Equius was here the first time and he maybe talked to me about that thing and how I, uh, sort of feel about you?”

There was a vice gripping Dave’s chest. He kept the glass to his mouth, if just for the added obscuring of his expression. He had to keep his poker face.

“I wasn’t going to think about it really but, you know, I do really like you, and you don’t dislike me, or so you said, and so I did and uh, it all just kind of became obvious when I saw you hurt and it made me really, really mad.”

It was back. The need to throw up was back.

“Uhh, ok, sorry, I know I’m definitely stalling. I’ve just never really had to do this before and, well, anyway.” Tavros paused his rambling to take a deep breath. He was staring at the linoleum floor and only occasionally daring to glance up at Dave.

Dave had not taken a single sip of his drink. Hardly moved. Hardly even breathed.

“I, kind of, maybe, no uh, not kind of or maybe, but just definitely have, um,” Tavros started before clenching his eyes shut. When he spoke, it all rushed out, each word chasing the next. “Dave, I have red feelings for you.”

He swore he was not going to do it, but Dave could feel the heat expanding beneath his skin. He was turning red and there was nothing the teenager could do about it. Nor could he stop the way his gut twisted or how his chest grew tight.

Nothing was making sense anymore.

One step at a time, he reasoned out. He had to get back to shit that made sense.

Dave put his cup back on the counter. “That’s the flushed one, right?”

“Well, red means it’s either flushed or pale,” Tavros explained, his eyes opening again but only to look at the floor. “I don’t really know for sure which it is I feel yet? I think it’s, um, definitely leaning towards flushed? But!”

“But?”

Tavros finally looked up, looking so terribly nervous, but there was a hint of determination there. “But even if it turns out it’s, you know, pale, it’s still not just friendly. Please don’t misconstrue my feelings, ok?”

“Nah, I get it,” Dave replied, taking a deep breath and trying to will the color in his face away. “Either way it’s romantic.” The word was awkward on his tongue.

“Uh, yeah, pretty much.”

Silence fell, and it was painful. Dave’s brain was in overdrive, trying to comprehend what he had never had to deal with before. This was not just the shallow girl in his class fluttering her eyelashes at him who he could coolly turn down by saying music was his sweet, jealous mistress. This was not just the scene boy who asked if he wanted to get coffee who he could say yes to and then never show up.

This was _Tavros_. He meant something to Dave, even if what that meaning was was still undefined for him. He could not hurt the troll, could not just shove his feelings aside and move on. He had to actually consider them. Dave would have to consider his own feelings.

Dave was feeling ill.

“Dave, uh, you don’t have to, you know, feel like you have to give me a response or anything. I just needed to say it.” The confidence and courage it took for Tavros to say what he had was dwindling away with every awkward second. It almost looked like he was physically wilting, his shoulders drooping and his head bowed.

Dave hated that he could ever be the one taking those feelings from Tavros.

“No, dude, I can’t just leave you hanging,” Dave insisted as he ran his hand through his hair.

“But, I mean, you really don’t have to--”

“A confession comes with an unspoken clause that makes it clear that the receiver has to give a response, or else he comes out looking like a douche bag that doesn’t care. I know it does, and so do you. Just—Fuck.” Dave leaned against the kitchen counter and dropped his face into his hands. “Rose was right, I am so far up the fucking nile without so much as a toothpick for a paddle.”

“What?”

“Look, Tav, can we just maybe, I dunno, put this confession on pause?”

“Uhh, wait, Dave, I don’t understand,” Tavros said, looking up with furrowed brows. There was disappointment there in his glassy white eyes. “You can just say no if you want. I can handle it. I can’t change your feelings. You don’t have to spare mine and stuff.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.” Dave rubbed at his temples, almost wishing he had a headache to distract him from how tight and hot the rest of his body felt. “If I knew I didn’t feel the same way, believe me, I would just say no and give you some coke to drown your sorrows in.”

This statement left Tavros quiet, disappointment giving way to pure confusion and, perhaps, a hint of something else. If he was waiting for Dave to continue, he would be left waiting a long time since the teenager was clamping up further with every word that passed his lips. Every cell in his brain was asking why he was showing his cards and Dave had no answer. He could not pinpoint when he had lost the ability to keep his mouth shut regarding anything at all emotional, but he was scrambling to get that ability back.

“Dave?”

“Yeah?”

Tavros’ voice was quiet and careful when he spoke. “Do you mean that you don’t know how you feel?”

“Something like that.”

“Then you’re putting this on a pause, because you need to, sort of, think about it?”

Dave shrugged. “Yeah.”

“So it’s possible that you might have red feelings for me too?”

Dave did not say a word in response to that, instead turning around to empty his cup into the sink as he shrugged again. His face was burning beet red, but it did not matter so long as Tavros did not see it.

However, it did matter when Tavros was hugging him from behind and grinning like a huge, lovesick idiot.

“What part of ‘I don’t know’ do you not get? I didn’t say I feel the same, dumbass.”

“But you’re thinking about it! And you aren’t, you know, saying you don’t!”

“Get off. Your optimism is suffocating.”

“How could I not be happy when it’s not hopeless? And whoa, Dave, did you know that your face can get really red?”

“Yeah, you know what, I think I’m just going to say I don’t have any sort of feelings for you at all just so you stop humping my grill.”

“No, what, you can’t do that.”

“Watch me.”

“Whoa, no, um, ok, this is me not humping anything. At all. No humping.”

“While I appreciate your junk not being all up on my trunk, your arms are still around my neck.”

“Uhh, but I can’t hump with arms?”

“Tav, have you noticed yet I was talking about metaphorical humping?”

“Yeah, but, then I’d have to let go?”

“See, that’s kind of the point.”

“But I like holding you?”

“Down, boy. This clingy shit needs to stop right here.”

“But--”

“Off.”


	13. In which John tells Dave about the moment, Tavros forever cries over Rufio, and Dave just goes for it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 18: In which John tells Dave about the moment, Tavros forever cries over Rufio, and Dave just goes for it

Dave had always been good at acting like nothing was wrong. It was a gift, really, passed down to him from Bro in the form of shades that oozed coolness. Dave laughed at haters, shrugged at angry teachers, barely batted an eye at ladies and dudes alike falling over themselves to have a chance to experience his presence.

He played it cool. That was how to best hide anything wrong. When somebody sat around being upfront about how they were upset, or insulted, or hated their self or whatever, people assumed that something was wrong. People that were known to have problems would be assumed to have problems.

Dave did not act like he had problems. No one assumed he had problems. He could easily skate through life and fool people into thinking that nothing was wrong.

Nothing was wrong with people who had no problems.

Unless they were pretending from the start.

Dave grew up knowing that Bro was cooler than he could ever hope to be. He knew that John would always be a better kid than him. He knew that Rose would always be smarter than him. He knew that Jade would always be more caring than him.

Dave knew that he was not really anyone special. Above average maybe, and not bad looking, and alright so in the end he became the knight of time, but that was by dumb luck. Everything else he had to make for himself. He had to teach himself to drop ill rhymes, keep up a pokerface, hide any of his flaws, and where he could not hide them, flaunt them like they were god given gifts. Dave had not become who he was naturally, but from years and years of sculpting himself into someone worthwhile, worthy of the Strider name and worthy of people’s respect.

But no one else needed to know that. All he needed to do was be the cool kid he had created; say he was and act like he was, and people would believe it. So long as he was careful about what he said and what cards he showed, it was easy to fool anyone into thinking he believed it too.

Sometimes he did. Sometimes Dave was damn proud of who he had become.

The funny thing was he became a cool kid so that he would not have to worry about anyone seeing him for the average kid he was. And yet, sometimes, the less he tried to keep up the act, the more comfortable he felt. Walls could ease down and Dave could just relax into who he was and not worry about who saw.

The problem now was that those very same walls were laid out on the ground, practically unused for months and months, gathering dust. There had been no reason to keep them up when even average Dave was cool enough for Tavros. On top of that, the troll had been there for those moments of weakness when Dave had annihilated his walls, and still, he was respected. The walls were pretty much obsolete.

Now though, the most uncool emotions were beginning to drive him mad, and he did not have the walls to hide them from the damn troll that started it all with his damn confession.

Seriously thinking about romance, of all things, was never something that Dave had been prepared for. Actually _considering_ a romance was _definitely_ never something Dave had been prepared for. The thought of admitting not just to that person, but to himself that they were special, that there was a connection that was unique, that they had some special hold over him, was freaking the teenager out like few things did. But he could not deny everything that had occurred, everything that he had felt, and the fact that in a way Tavros _was_ special.

What special entailed in their case – be it just best of bros, potential bros with benefits, or something romantic – was where the problem laid. That was where Dave’s true feelings dwelt, but they were hidden under layers of things the teenager had to admit to himself and parts of himself that he had to entrust to someone else.

Basically, all the things that Dave would rather not deal with ever; things that the mere thought of dealing with them made him silently flip out.

All of it was there, and Dave did not want Tavros to know about any of it.

It was hard to build the walls back up, but he had to try, because this was embarrassing shit that no one needed to watch Dave go through.

He knew the perfect way to get some time to himself.

\-----------------------------------

“Dave, what are you watching? I’ve never seen this movie before.”

“It’s a TV series, not a movie.”

“Oh. What about?”

“It’s a hunting show.”

“Oh.”

“Yup. Right now they’re stalking this buck and—oh man, look at that, got him right in the head.”

“Dave, I’m just gonna, uh, be somewhere else not watching this.”

“You sure? They’re gonna start gutting it soon.”

Tavros pulled a face and gagged.

Dave had three whole seasons to keep the living room all to himself.

\-----------------------------------

“Oh wow, really? He did that?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh. So you really weren’t lying when you said you guys weren’t already together?”

“John, you are so damn thick sometimes.”

“You know, you should talk to Rose about it instead of me, since I don’t really know much about this sort of thing.”

“I am going to rot in my grave before I go to her for relationship advice.”

“Dave.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re already dead.”

“But I’m not rotting, am I?”

“No. But ok, anyway, I can definitely try to do my best to help!”

“Lay it on me. Nothing could make things weirder than they already are.”

“You need to have the moment.”

“The what?”

“The moment!”

“The moment.”

“Yeah! That moment when you look at him and notice the sparkle in his eye, and the way his body, uh, doesn’t curve since he’s a boy, and how awesome his big horns are, and your heart will start to race in your chest and bam! You’ll know that you’re already head-over-heels in love and wrestle around under the blankets with your underwear on and then cut to your beach-side wedding!”

“Holy shit. You have surpassed all previous levels of sheer brilliance. What was I thinking this whole time, trying to look inside myself to find out how I feel. Obviously I should have been staring at Tavros and waiting for the moment. Thanks for saving me there, buddy. I just dodged a bullet. Also, you think I should go A-line, or mermaid style?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Dave! If it’s beach-side, you have to go with long and slinky.”

“Fuck, there goes another bullet that almost hit me. What would I do without you?”

“Haha, I dunno! Um, but, seriously, Dave?”

“Don’t tell me. I already know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. If I want a slinky white dress, I’m gonna have to lose five pounds first, or else I’ll look as big as a house.”

“I actually wasn’t going to say that, but only because I figured it went without saying.”

“You calling me fat?”

“Nooo, I would never call you fat! But I would say that if the moment ever does happen, you should just go for it.”

“It.”

“Yeah. Go in for the big kiss!”

“Why did I ever think that asking you for advice was a good idea?”

“Whoa, Dave, you’re totally blushing! Aww, it _is_ true love!”

“Shut up.”

“Oh man, now I have to plan everything!”

“I will kill you.”

“It’s going to be awesome. It’ll be like, um, your big, fat, troll wedding! Oh, but, do trolls have weddings?”

“John.”

“Dave, why you want to leaaaaave me?”

“The first time I finally get Karkles up in this bubble, I am going to tell him that saying you’re not a homosexual is secretly human lingo for ‘I need you to shove your hand down my pants before I can agree to anything.’”

John clamped his mouth shut before changing the topic to something completely different.

\-----------------------------------

The awkwardness that came with sharing a twin-sized bed had long passed for them. They slept side-by-side more times than either could count, not worrying if arms or legs touched. Neither moved much in their sleep, so space was not a huge issue. Once they had gotten over sharing space, the awkwardness completely disappeared.

But it was back with a vengeance as Tavros stood awkwardly in the doorway, nibbling his bottom lip with his sharp teeth.

“Is this really alright and not at all awkward?”

“It wasn’t awkward until you said the word awkward. Look what you’ve done. Now I’m saying awkward. Fuck, there I go again. Awkward just flying all over the place.” The troll frowned guiltily and Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades. “I’m joking, dumbass. It’s fine.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Just don’t try any of that spooning shit. It’s too damn hot for that.”

Tavros blushed.

“No, that would be sort of not appropriate when we’re going to sleep anyway? I wouldn’t do that, even if I wanted to, but that’s not saying I want to, because that might be weird for you and I don’t want to make you feel weird and--”

“Yeah, ok, I get it,” Dave said as he started to gather up his bed sheet. “This is awkward for you. Totally fine, I understand. I’d have a hard time sleeping next to my sexy, prone body too. I’ll just conk out on the futon.”

Tavros took two steps forward, lifting up his hands to stop the teenager as he stammered, “No! No, uh, no way, I’m totally ok with it, you don’t have to sleep anywhere else!”

Dave grabbed his pillow and swung his legs over the side of the bed, getting up to his feet. “Dude, it’s really ok. The futon is not too bad to sleep on. Besides, you sewed it up pretty well, so my butt won’t fall through in my sleep.”

“No! I can’t take the whole bed for myself! I’ll just, uh,” Tavros started before racing forward and haphazardly gathering up his own bed sheet. “I’ll sleep on the futon, ok?”

“No.”

“But--”

“Nope. You’re sleeping in the bed.”

“Then so are you.”

“Not if it’s weird for you.”

“It’s not at all. There is no weirdness, at all. But if it is for you--”

“It isn’t.”

“Then, uh, ok.”

“Cool. We’re agreed then. I’m gonna get in that bed, and you’re coming with.”

“Fine.”

The two males stared at each other, each with their bedding held to their chests, before finally Dave tossed his pillow back on the bed and shook out his bed sheet. Tavros followed suit.

As soon as Dave was back where he was before, laid out against the wall, Tavros carefully sat down and unfurled his bed sheet.

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

The troll still looked worried as he covered up his legs with the sheet, making sure to tuck the fabric in around them so they would not escape easily. God forbid they should sneak out and accidentally touch Dave’s like they had a million times before.

Still, even with the pillow set down and the sheet tucked in, Tavros did not lay down. He just sat awkwardly, wringing his hands.

“Uhh, are you really, really sure?”

Dave did not even bother to use words. He sat up, took one horn into each hand, and shoved the troll down onto his pillow. Tavros, in turn, yelped and on instinct reached up to grab Dave’s wrists.

And that was how the two found themselves where they were, staring awkwardly with only shades between them, Tavros pinned against the bed and Dave leaning over him.

Tavros’ eyes went wide.

Dave took a deep breath and thanked the god of cool for his shades.

“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s fine.”

“Oh, uh, ok.”

Tavros’ grip loosened and Dave released his horns. There was shuffling as Tavros pulled the sheets up to his chest and Dave curled up facing the wall.

In all honesty it was awkward. Incredibly awkward. It was like their first time sleeping next to each other, trying desperately to not let any limbs touch and remind them that they were sleeping with someone else. But this time it was different too. It was not trying to forget that they were sleeping with somebody else. It was that they were trying to not remember that were sleeping next to each other specifically; Tavros trying to not remember that he was sleeping next to his red crush, and Dave trying to not remember that he was sleeping next to the troll that gave him all the confused feelings. It was terribly awkward.

But Dave had not lied when he said it was alright.

When he rolled onto his back for the sake of comfort and his shoulder bumped Tavros’, neither moved, but just let it be.

It was awkward, yes, there was no truthfully denying that. But it was alright.

\-----------------------------------

“Oh, fuck yes. About fucking time.”

“What?”

“I think I finally hit my growth spurt. Say hello to Dave 2.0, now with two extra inches in height.”

“Oh. Huh.”

“Come on, dude, this is exciting shit right here.”

“I hadn’t really noticed? But yeah, I guess you’re right. Your nose is up to my, uh, neck now.”

“Fuck you. You’re like the Jolly Green Giant’s mutant kid. You’re just freakishly tall.”

“Whoa. I didn’t say that your being shorter was bad or anything, really”

“Whatever.”

“No, but, I like your height, Dave!”

“Again, whatever. But, just in case, how tall do you fuckers get when you’re full grown?”

“Uh, it kind of depends. But I’m hoping to hit sixty squiddles.”

“Squiddles?”

“Yeah.”

“The fuck is a squiddle?”

“It’s a squiddle?”

“How many inches is that?”

“What’s an inch?”

Eventually the two worked it out.

Dave silently hoped that Tavros never made it past the fifty squiddles he was at.

 -----------------------------------

It was one of the stupidest movies on the face of the planet. Robin Williams was a douchebag. Hook was a huge pedophile who was ready to get all up in that little kid’s ass. And there was of course Rufio, who almost saved the movie before he went soft and emotional near the end. Guy just could not keep a hold on his coolness. The movie was lame and disappointing.

But it was Tavros’ favorite. He was always sad to think of Peter Pan getting old and bitter, but he absolutely adored Rufio. The first time they had watched it during their marathon of Peter Pan movies, the troll had nearly had a seizure when the boy appeared on the screen. “It’s him!” he had squealed, going dewy eyed and squirming in his seat. When he tried to explain that it was his self-esteem, Dave just shrugged it off as something he was pretty sure he did not even want to try to understand.

Tavros had sobbed like toddler when he watched it the first time. Or, at least the troll equivalent, which Dave was pretty sure was a wriggler or something equally weird. He had cried big fat tears when Peter tried so hard but kept failing. He sniffled when Tinker Bell’s love could not be returned. Happy tears leaked out when Peter remembered how to fly. He wept as the little boy said he wanted to stay with Hook.

But what sent the troll over the edge into outright bawling was Rufio’s death.

Dave was pretty sure that no one had as deep an emotional connection to Peter Pan and Rufio as Tavros had.

The second and third times they watched the movie, Tavros managed to keep his crying silent and only did so for a couple scenes.

The fourth time and onward, there was only one scene that still pulled tears out of the troll. Never could he watch Rufio’s death without crying. He would keep quiet, but the copper that trailed down his cheeks always gave him away.

This time was no different. Dave had lost track of how many times they had watched the movie now, but enough that he knew all the shitty lines by heart. But still, with the fight between Hook and Rufio came a soft whine from the troll next to him. Tavros pulled his legs up and wrapped his arms around them, resting half his face against his knees while his eyes were kept high enough that he could see. Dave had tried suggesting the troll just not watch, but Tavros never seemed able to look away. He watched with rapt attention, and at the exact second that Dave knew that Rufio was getting shanked on the screen, Tavros pressed his mouth into the fabric of his pants so that he could hide the whimper he made.

Because his eyes never left the screen, Tavros could not hide the tears bubbling up and over.

It was something that Dave had seen before, but even so, it was causing something to stir that had not before. There was no reason why. No big, exciting line of thought that led to it. Nothing special. And yet, his stomach twisted and his chest grew tight around his pounding heart.

Dave nearly got up to slam his head against a wall as he realized his heart was pounding as he watched Tavros’ eyes.

Fuck John and his stupid ‘the moment.’

Fuck his last bit of advice.

Fuck the fact that now all that Dave could think about was how Tavros was there crying over the stupid movie they had seen a million times over and his heart was pounding and the desire to actually follow stupid John-given advice was growing until it was overwhelming.

Fuck everything.

It was time to do what Dave did best and just act.

Dave moved without a word, ignoring Tavros’ confused, “Uh, Dave?” One hand was placed on the troll’s knee while the other grasped a horn and gently pushed it back so that Tavros’ mouth was not smothered between his knees.

Then, without a moment to reconsider, he leaned in for the big kiss.

It was not what movies were made of. Tavros’ mouth had been open to say something, leaving one lip to meet a lip while the other just got fang. Even when Dave pulled away just enough to try again, the troll was frozen, staring with wide, orange tear rimmed eyes and unable to even comprehend the idea of kissing back.

It was nothing like the movies, and was not exactly what one would call pleasant.

But Tavros’ lips were warm and the copper blush was quickly growing in his cheeks, so it was not so bad in Dave’s opinion. Besides, movie actors knew nothing about the raging storm of nerves that made up everything in Dave’s mind that was not focused on the troll he had half pinned to the couch.

When Dave pulled back, Tavros hardly moved for a few seconds beyond blinking. Finally, he breathed and his lips started moving, trying to make words before his brain was even capable of thinking them up.

When words did come, they were scrambled and hushed and confused.

“Dave? I, Dave, what, that was, I don’t know what, um, what was that--?”

Another kiss, this one smothering questions as Dave leaned in further, pressed his lips tighter against Tavros’, more frantically than before.

When he stopped, he whispered before the troll could get any words out again.

“No labels. Fuck, please, no labels.”

Tavros’ mouth opened, but this time nothing came out. Instead he just stared at Dave’s face, analyzing him, searching him and it was all that the teenager could do to not escape. But he stayed, waiting, afraid that Tavros would see though him and see how nervous he was about this whole business, and yet simultaneously hoping he would so that Dave would never have to verbally say a thing.

The troll nibbled his lip as his expression softened, and damn if it was not obvious that he saw right past the cool kid shades. There was vague disappointment, but it was drowned out by half a dozen emotions that Dave could not read on Tavros’ face.

“Uhh, ok. But on one condition?”

“Yeah?”

Tavros glanced away for a moment and his face turned a deeper copper.

“Can we maybe try that one more time?”

Dave smiled in relief and leaned in again.

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“Yeah, that’s me. I’m totally unreasonable.”

“The most. I just don’t know how I put up with you. Now look at me so we can do this.”

Again, it was no big movie kiss. It was hardly afterschool special levels of finesse. It was lips moving in unfamiliar ways, avoiding sharp teeth that protruded awkwardly, tilting heads this way and that to try to find an angle that was not uncomfortable but that did not smash their noses together or jam the shades’ corners where they did not belong.

It was sloppy and screamed inexperience.

But so far as Dave was concerned, it was better than any shitty movie kiss.

It was real.


	14. In which there is all the making out and an unexpected guest gets a free show, whether he wants it or not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 19: In which there is all the making out and an unexpected guest gets a free show, whether he wants it or not

If John’s theory based on romantic comedies had been correct, the next kiss would lead to deep, passionate kissing with roaming hands, clothing disappearing as they moved against each other in aesthetically pleasing ways, making sweet noises of love and hot, steamy sex. No condoms, no questions about figuring out alien biology, nothing but movie-ready love-making. Either it would be the end of the movie, so it would just pan over to them happily married, or it would be in the middle of the movie and the passionate sex would lead to arguments and misunderstandings that would have to be explained and revealed so that they could do it all again for said conclusion.

If things were more like an afterschool special, it would be just as aesthetically pleasing as the movie, but include questions of consent and grabbing a condom before they breathlessly rutted against each other like the teenagers in heat they were. No doubt the condom would break and the rest of the story would be either about alien STDs or Tavros getting pregnant.

If it were a porno, they would magically be rid of all their clothing and have sex in thirty or so different positions and/or camera angles in as many minutes whilst screaming and moaning at the top of their lungs like a couple of skanky twinks desperate for release.

If it had been in some work of fanfiction written by some virgin girl desperate for love, it would no doubt have be some awful mix of the three.

But ultimately it was none of the above.

Instead, the two just kissed experimentally, breaking away on occasion to murmur requests like “Tilt your head this way” or “Fuck, watch the teeth.” When Dave broke away for good, the two were both flushed but wearing stupid looks on their faces. Then, without another word, Dave sat back against the couch and Tavros moved his horn just right so that he could lean on the teenager’s shoulder. The two watched the rest of the movie and then moved onto another. Tavros’ slipped his palm to press against Dave’s and Dave in turn ran his thumb along Tavros’, just once.

If Tavros wanted to ask about what Dave was thinking, he did not dare do it. Dave was not really able to describe to himself what he was thinking so it would not have done any good anyway.

They just did what felt alright.

And that was it that day. Some post-make out cuddling, another movie, and then a rousing game of Fiduspawn, which Dave was finally getting a hang of.

Dave was still adjusting to a lifestyle where he did not have to push physical affection away. Tavros was grappling with understanding a relationship that had no labels and no indications of how Dave felt beyond allowing said physical affection.

There was no need to make things more complicated than kissing.

\---------------------------------

“Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Could we maybe, if you’re ok with it, cuddle?”

“I dunno, pretty sure I said something before about no cuddling while sleeping. It’s fucking hot, and I don’t mean in the sexy way.”

“No, uh, not while we’re sleeping. If you don’t want to. But before we go to sleep?”

“Right now?”

“Yes?”

Dave carefully considered it before deciding he did not mind the idea. So he shrugged and leaned against his elbows. “How do you want to do this? You can’t really lay any way other than on your back because of your horns.”

That brought out a sigh. “I could maybe lay on your chest?”

“Too hot to have all of you on top of me.”

“Uh, ok.”

“Here, I’ve got this,” Dave said as he rolled over. It took some maneuvering, although mostly because Tavros kept squirming, but the teenager managed to half lay on top of Tavros. He folded his arms across the troll’s chest and rested his chin against his sternum. There were two layers of bed sheets between them, but Dave’s bare back was out in the open air. “How’s this?”

Tavros was already a light copper, and damn if he did not have the goofiest smile on his face. “It’s kind of nice.”

“Just nice?”

“Really nice.”

“Might be nicer if you actually got your hands on this.”

“Oh.” From so close, Dave could watch as Tavros swallowed. It occurred to him that he could kiss that neck now. It was tempting.

But then there were tentative fingertips on his back, and Dave lost most all of his desire to move. So instead he smirked a bit. “That all you got, Tav?”

Where Dave was expecting palms to finally lay flat to his skin, he got that along with arms tightly holding him and pulling him up so that Tavros could nuzzle against his hair. Dave was feeling less like a tease and more like a new favorite stuffed animal.

Tavros’ hands were warm against his skin.

“Jesus. Excited much?”

The troll hummed before replying, “Well, this is the first time you’ve wanted me to cuddle you, so yeah.”

“First, I never said I wanted to, and second, at least say cuddle with. I’m not a pillow or something.”

“Dave, you’re not really cuddling back,” Tavros pointed out, and Dave knew from his tone that he was trying to goad him. The troll was getting downright spoiled. But in the end, the teenager could not deny the truth.

Tavros had a point.

With a sigh, Dave uncrossed his arms and attempted some form of cuddling from his position. It was awkward however, and he was still unsure of what exactly constituted cuddling. Ultimately he just braced his elbows on the bed, flanking the sides of Tavros’ head, and rested his forehead against the troll’s.

“This is stupid.”

“But maybe a nice stupid?”

The troll was still grinning from ear to ear.

“Maybe.”

“Dave?”

“Hm?”

“Can I maybe kiss you right now? Just a little one?”

Dave could not stop the snort that escaped.

“Yeah, alright. You need practice getting around those teeth of yours anyway.”

Tavros did not bother to stop and say anything in response. His hands had trailed up Dave’s back and one moved to cradle the back of his head, subtly moving him down until their lips met, weakly enough that the teenager could easily back out. He did not.

One kiss led to Tavros stealing another, and then another. When Dave did try to pull away, the troll just grinned almost devilishly and held his head in place, unwilling to cease in kissing the human. His confidence had been lifted and was now running the show. It did not matter when Dave turned his head to the side since all it did was change the target of Tavros’ onslaught. Cheeks, chin, nose, ear – there was nothing that Tavros would not kiss as Dave weakly attempted to move away. Whether or not he actually wanted to get away was another question.

“Tav, Christ, have some mercy. I’m drowning in kisses.”

“Mm, just a few more.”

“Seriously. CSI will show up at the crime scene.”

“Almost done. Maybe.”

“The douche bag is gonna say, ‘looks like he got’--”

Tavros managed to capture Dave’s mouth before the teenager sighed, letting the kiss happen until the troll released him.

“—‘The kiss of death.’ He’s gonna do the shitty sunglasses thing and everything. It will be awful.”

“Wow. Nothing really gets you off track.”

“The cool train doesn’t stop for anything. Now, are you done?”

Tavros blinked up at him. His hands loosened their hold around Dave. “I guess, but um.”

“But?”

“Uhh, never mind.”

Dave just rolled his eyes and leaned down to press his lips to the troll’s neck. The quietest of sighs escaped Tavros.

“Better?”

Tavros just nodded. Dave could see his blush moving down his neck. Just one more kiss, and then like the tease he was, he rolled off completely. “Cool. Then I guess it’s time for bed.”

“Whoa, uh, wait, I didn’t mean I was done cuddling!”

“Sorry, can’t hear you through all these mad Zs I’m getting here. It’s crazy all the sleeping I’m doing. It’s off the hook.”

“But--”

“Dude, we have forever. I’m sure you’ll find a way to wrangle me into cuddling or snuggling or whatever the fuck you want to call it again. I’m no one-trick pony.”

“I guess.”

With an exasperated sigh, Dave laid out on his back and left his hand out, palm up. “You can have a hand, alright?”

Tavros did not even ask to make sure it was actually alright. He immediately grasped the offering and tangled his fingers up with Dave’s. In turn, Dave casually turned his head to face the wall.

“You seriously need to calm down. It’s not like I proposed today or something. It’s just kissing.”

“Yeah, but, I’m still allowed to be happy.”

“Dork.”

“Says the guy who kissed me during a movie he says he hates.”

“It’s a seriously shitty movie. And I didn’t drown you in kisses.”

“I wouldn’t really mind if you did?”

“What happened to all that pale shit you were going on about?”

“Uhh, I’m pretty sure you said no labels, so I sort of can’t answer that question.”

“Fuck you. Wipe that smug look off your face.”

“No.”

“I’ll take my hand back.”

“What, no, you can’t. It’s mine now.”

“Dude, the hell. That is my hand. You can’t claim it.”

“But I just did?”

“I’m seriously going to sleep because this shit is ridiculous.”

“Ok. Goodnight, Dave.”

“Yeah. Night, Tav. Try not to suck on my fingers while I sleep, ok?”

“What?”

“Never mind. I shouldn’t give you ideas. Just go to sleep.”

Dave gave Tavros’ hand the slightest squeeze before closing his eyes and slipping into a surprisingly easy sleep.

\---------------------------------

“Uh, Rufio? I know you’re not really real, but I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, and you know, you still kind of helped me tell him in the first place? Thanks for that, by the way. I’m really, really happy. Really. A lot. Wow. Which is why I’m talking to you even though I should have, uh, gone to sleep a few hours ago. I’m trying! But it hard to when, maybe, I wouldn’t be able to feel his hand anymore? Or, uh, think about what we did earlier. Or just, like, feel the way I do right now, because this is really nice. I don’t even really mind that Dave doesn’t want to really talk about what we are. I mean, I definitely know how I feel now, and I can wait for him to figure out how he feels. That’s the right thing to do, right? I hope so. I really don’t want to mess this up. Because I sort of, maybe, want to someday be, you know. With him. As uh--”

Dave shifted ever so slightly in his sleep. Tavros held his breath until the teenager sighed and returned to slow, even breaths.

“—Anyway, wow, I should maybe stop talking. I probably sound really dumb. This was a stupid idea. Uhh, thanks for listening though, even if you aren’t actually real. I’m just going to lay here for a while, and um, probably fail at sleeping some more. Yeah. Goodnight, Rufio.”

\---------------------------------

Dave had assumed that being a couple of young guys, they would probably take full advantage of the fact that they were now both open to kissing. The next few weeks did not disappoint in that aspect. They continued life as normal, playing games, training, rapping, and just hanging out. But at any moment, a break could be taken for a round of tonsil hockey. It was only once a day or so at first, but soon twice, and eventually just whenever the desire came up, as well as wherever.

On the couch.

In the kitchen.

Outside on the grass.

Nowhere was safe, really.

Dave tended towards hard and fast kisses, sneaking in on Tavros and stealing his breath away before moving out of reach and continuing as he had before, unable to hide a smug look on his face. He loved how riled up it got the troll, and payback was half the fun.

Occasionally this method backfired when he leaned in too fast and too hard and would accidentally knick his lips on Tavros’ teeth. The pain was not something he enjoyed in the least. But the mishaps were not all bad. Dave was beginning to suspect that Tavros enjoyed cleaning up the mess he made of his lips.

Tavros was always the more cautious of the two, touching Dave’s arm or slowly leaning in with a hopeful smile before he did anything else, as if making sure that the teenager could say no if he was not feeling it. Dave never turned him down. Kisses were slow and careful since the troll was always mindful of his teeth. It was more lips and tongue than anything, but sometimes Dave would spoil Tavros and use his far less dangerous teeth to nip and tug. Never enough to hurt, but certainly enough to make Tavros pull closer.

These rounds were always drawn out and gave plenty of time for hands to do more than just grab and hold on for the ride. Everything stayed above the belt, but that was hardly a restriction where there were arms and shoulders and backs and chests to touch and grasp and feel.

Dave could not wait to get that baggy, oversized shirt off of Tavros.

But he played it cool. If Dave had learned something from Bro, it was that he had to not act desperate. At most he could act interested, and that would only be when he was genuinely desperate.

Dave was seriously considering how to best go about acting interested.

\---------------------------------

It was a stupid endeavor, but somehow Dave found himself yet again trying to catch up to where Tavros had gotten in his game. It was stupid because it was an RPG type. He hated to admit it, but the troll was far better than he could ever be at these games. Where Dave would just want to storm right through until he was completely and utterly fucked, Tavros would take time to complete side missions, level up his balanced teams, upgrade their weapons instead of just automatically jumping for the new item in the store, the works.

Dave tried to learn from the example, but he hated how slow it went. Playing old levels to level up his team was boring and hell if he cared enough to do anything that was not relevant to progressing through the main story. He always ended up raging through until he would be forced to rage quit.

With a flick of his wrist, the controller hit the floor and Dave stretched out on the couch. His team could stand to be dead for a while. Maybe it would teach them to stop being lazy and level themselves up.

“Dave?”

The teenager opened one of his eyes to find Tavros leaning over the couch and looking down at him. He looked a touch anxious.

Dave quirked a brow at him and replied, “Make it fast, because I’m obviously super busy right now.”

“Your controller is on the ground.”

“Right where it belongs. You need something?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Well, I did sort of imply that you could ask something when I asked if you needed something.”

“Ok, cool,” Tavros replied, leaning his arms against the back of the couch and resting his chin on them. It was clear now that what Dave had assumed was anxiety was more like nervous excitement. Whatever it was he wanted, he was pretty certain he could get it. “Uh, well, I know you took away my privilege to them, but I was thinking that since we kind of do, you know, stuff, maybe now it would be ok for me to get those privileges back?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Tavros caught his lip between his teeth. “The privilege to play with your nipples?”

Dave could not help groaning and rolling his eyes. He asked incredulously, “Fuck, this is going to turn into a fetish for you, isn’t it?”

“Um.”

“Fuck. It already is.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You’re not denying it.”

“Can we just say I find them interesting, maybe?”

“No. If you want this privilege, you have to own up to why you want it.”

Tavros’ tongue peeked out to whet his lips. He was starting to look uncomfortable now, saying, “Uh, well, I don’t know if it’s that extreme yet? But I do really like them. And I kind of really want to be able to touch them again.”

With a sigh, Dave settled comfortably where he was laying on the futon.

“Just no harsh pinching and no teeth. Got it?”

The troll looked as if he had won the lottery. Tavros did not need any more convincing as he raced around the couch and clumsily placed his knees between Dave’s legs. That was an interesting choice, but the teenager made no comment or move to indicate that was not acceptable. It did not matter anyway once Tavros slipped his hands under Dave’s shirt and pushed it up.

Dave was so alright with them moving into shirtless territory that Tavros could have bent him into a pretzel and he would be chill with it.

He helped with shucking the shirt off, but just as Tavros was reaching for his prize, Dave put up a hand to stop him. “Slow down there, Tav. Yours is coming off too.”

Tavros blinked.

“But why?”

“You are not rubbing up all over me with that shirt on. End of discussion.”

Cheeks turned copper, but Tavros obeyed and awkwardly tugged his shirt up, ever mindful of his horns. It gave Dave plenty of time to ogle without the troll noticing. Seeing it when Tavros was changing and see it when he was on the couch stripping for him were two completely different experiences. Half the fun of their growth spurts in their sleep was that it was always a surprise. And damn if Tavros was not growing into the hottest dweeb that Dave had ever had the chance to check out.

There could not have been enough time to examine the grey expanse of Tavros’ body. If one added in time to actually touch, time itself had no chance of being enough for Dave. But what time there was was cut once the shirt was thrown to join Dave’s. Tavros was on him in seconds, settling so that his upper body was supported by elbows flanking the sides of Dave’s chest. The rest of him though was laying on Dave or between his thighs.

Fingers found his nipples and Dave rolled his eyes. So many damn possibilities for this situation, but in the end he knew it was just going to be Tavros being a dork about his nipples.

Worse yet, he did not mind at all.

Later he could coolly run his hands over that firm skin and feel out muscles, no doubt making the troll squirm as he did. Dave would get to map it out, note where their structures were the same and where they differed, find those little spots that made Tavros choke back embarrassing noises.

Maybe after Dave got tired of the fiddling with his nipples he would just shove Tavros over and have his turn.

But for now, the teenager just snorted at the look of absolute glee on Tavros’ face as he rubbed at his nipples.

“They as good as you remember?”

The troll hummed to indicate that yes, they were and possibly better. His fingers were far more insistent than they had been before, no doubt because he was not worried about it being slightly obscene. They were shirtless on Dave’s couch where they had made out at least on three separate occasions.

A little nipple play was hardly something to get all that worked up over.

“Dave?”

“Yeah?”

Tavros pressed his lips together, looking as if he was actually concentrating pretty intently on his mission. “How do I get them to do that, uh, one thing again?”

“You mean when they got hard?”

“Yeah, that.”

Dave shrugged casually as he replied, “Hell if I know. I told you, I don’t really get off on them. Usually they only get like that because it’s cold.”

“Um, ok. Maybe if I got some ice--”

“That’d be cheating and you know it.”

“Yeah,” Tavros sighed, resting his chin on Dave’s chest just below the nipple line. “And I managed it before, so maybe I can get them to do it again or something.”

“Maybe. But I’m a lot more relaxed this time, so you may have to try harder.”

In response to his statement, the troll tipped his head down and experimentally pressed his mouth to one of the unexcited nubs. Dave could handle that, but with the wet heat of Tavros’ tongue against his skin, his eyes shut and his head tilted back slightly. It had nothing to do with his nipple and everything to do with that tongue on his skin.

The shock of it slowly dissipated, but to Dave’s chagrin, Tavros was just chilling on his chest looking at his face and, of all things, smugly.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just uh, you know, watching you definitely get off on your nipples under my totally sick onslaught.”

“It had nothing to do with my nipples.”

“Then why are they all excited to see me now?”

Dave’s nipples were indeed up and ready to be handled like a couple of joysticks.

In turn, Dave’s blood was making a b-line for his face.

“Fuck you. It was because you went and licked me. Could have been anywhere and you would have gotten the same.”

“Wow, really?” Tavros’ fingers were not about to be stopped in their nipple time, especially now that they had the stiff nips to toy around with. But his mouth was moving, experimentally licking random spots from Dave’s sternum up his neck. It was not as electric as that first contact, no doubt because Dave was getting used to the tongue on his skin, but it was still enough that the teenager leaned his head back and the quietest sigh slipped out.

Tavros’ tongue stilled and was quickly retracted. When Dave opened an eye, he saw the troll gazing at his face while his own turned a bright burnt orange.

“Told you it wasn’t the nipples.”

“Y-yeah.”

“You ok?”

“Yeah, definitely. Just, I’ve never heard you make that kind of, uh, noise.”

Dave could feel his blush worsening, and the ensuing embarrassment over this fact only made it worse. “It slipped out.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean it in a bad way or anything. I kind of really liked it? You always get me to, um, make embarrassing noises, but I thought maybe I just wasn’t very good and that’s why I couldn’t get you to?”

“You’re fine. I just don’t throw out whimpers like confetti.” Tavros blushed and muttered something about how he could not help it. Dave waved it off. “I don’t mind it. I like them.”

“Like I like yours?”

“Probably.”

They were both now laying there, awkward and flushed and shirtless. With a sigh, Dave was the first to make his move, which in this case was to push on Tavros’ horns. “Ok, we’re done talking about boners over sexual noises. Go back to playing with nipples.”

“Whoa, wait, whoa, um, Dave, did you just say--?”

“Yup, that is what I said. Now get to it. My nipples aren’t gonna play with themselves.”

“But, I mean, do you, to my noises--?”

“Either you stop talking or I am putting my shirt back on.”

Tavros scooted back down so that he was resting his chin on Dave’s chest again. His fingers went back to work, but the troll continued to occasionally glance up from his fingers to Dave’s face. The teenager looked back at him suspiciously.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

Tavros just smiled and lapped at one of the nipples.

Dave decided he needed to learn how to combat tongue attacks and fast before they stole away all his coolness.

\---------------------------------

“Tav.”

“Yes?”

“Are you done yet?”

“Uhh, no.”

“Fuck, seriously, I’m almost caught up to you in this damn game. That is how long you’ve been at it. There is going to be more hickey than nipple at this rate. I’m going to be surprised if I have nipples left.”

“They’re definitely still here. Promise.”

“How can they even be that interesting?”

“Oh, well, I’ve been kind of watching you play, so I just did it without thinking?”

“Fuck this shit.”

 ---------------------------------

“Mm, Tav, back off. I can’t take my shirt off when – mmm -- you’re devouring my luscious lips.”

Tavros relented, albeit with difficulty, his palms eagerly pressing to newly revealed skin. For a second, Dave considered making a joke about the sunlight reflecting off his white skin and blinding the troll, but his jeans where getting grass stains so it was best to get down to business so they could head back inside and take care of laundry.

Admittedly, making out business could take a while, especially when Dave had Tavros pinned to the ground. If there was one thing that the human could appreciate, it was having a huge ass troll at his mercy and loving every second of it.

So he did what any decent human would do and once his shirt was off, Dave pretty much attacked Tavros’ neck with open-mouthed kisses while his fingertips raced along his grey chest.

Dave would have savored the low whine were it not for the abrupt full-body shudder that tore through him. It was not of the sexy variety.

“Dave?”

“What is this shit—What the glub?!” Dave glanced up to find the shittiest damn troll he had ever seen. Obviously horns were not enough for mister prissy pants since he had to have fins slapped onto the sides of his face as well. He looked down right scandalized, confused, and disgusted as he stared at them laid out on the grass.

“Oh shit, Eridan?!”

“The fuck is goin’ on here?!”

“I don’t have time for this shit,” Dave grumbled, and with a mental shove, the troll was gone again. Tavros attempted to pull away, apparently embarrassed at having been caught, but the teenager would have none of that. It was not too difficult to get going again.

However, from that day forth, it was decided that they would keep their shirts on when they were outside.


	15. In which Dave and Tavros get neighbors and payback is a sweet bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dave and Tavros get neighbors and payback is a sweet bitch

“Dude, you have to change that. You can’t rhyme a word with the exact same word. It’s pretty weak.”

“Yeah, I know, but uh, I can’t think of anything else.”

“I have to admit, you rapped yourself into a corner.”

“I kind of did, didn’t I?”

“I’ll just take care of the lyrics for this one, ok? You take care of the beats.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I really want to try making the ill rhymes all by myself. I can’t really get practice otherwise, right? I want to get better.”

Dave grinned a bit.

“Yeah, alright. Maybe you should just start those two lines over.”

“You don’t think I should start the whole verse over?”

“Nah, this is pretty good so far. It just gets weak here. Once you have this ironed out, you’ll have a pretty solid rap here.”

Tavros smiled broadly.

“Uh, thanks. I’ll just fix that. You better have the perfect beat for me to drop these on.”

“I was born with the perfect beat.”

\-------------------------------------------- 

It was when Dave was up on the roof practicing with his sword – he had to keep up with it if he ever wanted to beat Bro when he came back – that Tavros finally asked the question.

“What’re we going to tell other people?”

“About what?”

“You know, about how we’re sort of doing things that aren’t exactly, uh, friendly.”

Dave shrugged, tossing a two-by-four up into the air and attempting to slice and dice it. He only managed to slice. “We don’t tell them anything about it. It’s nobody’s business if we’re macking. Case closed.”

“But what if they ask?”

“Why would they?”

“Because it might be, maybe, sort of obvious that we’re not just friends?”

“I’m sure you can keep it in your pants when they visit.”

Tavros flushed but, even so, continued to speak. “Yeah, I mean, I can try to act normal. But um. They’ll still know when they see you.”

Dave stopped in mid-toss, holding the wooden board in the air. Finally he let it drop and turned to look at Tavros with an arched brow. “You gave me hickeys again.”

The weak smile laced with guilt confirmed his suspicions.

“How many?”

“Um. That I can see? Three.”

“Christ,” Dave stated, placing his free hand to his neck. “It’s like every day I find a new one.”

“I can’t really help it though if your skin is really easy to, you know, bruise or whatever it is.”

“You’re a damn hickey machine.”

“I honestly don’t mean to!”

“Don’t lie. You’re marking up your territory or some troll shit. You’re dying for everyone to assume I’m your little sex toy.”

“Whoa, no, that’s not it at all! And if I was trying to make a mark like that, it would be a lot more, uh, noticeable and painful.”

Dave gave him a barely veiled look.

“Trolls and your kinky, sadomasochistic tendencies.”

“Well, it takes a lot more to mark our skin compared to yours,” Tavros explained awkwardly. Dave had to admit, he had never seen Tavros with a hickey. He was going to have to make an effort at some point. “It’s kind of scary how really easy it is to bruise you.”

“It would also be scary to take note of how easily I could shove this sword through your gut if you talk about the daintiness of my skin anymore.”

Tavros glanced down at the sword and promptly dropped the subject.

“Ok, but I still don’t know what to tell people?”

That was when Dave finally set his sword down. Instead of moving towards Tavros he made his way to the side of the building and leaned against the railing. The troll would be unable to see anything other than his backside. “The truth I guess. This shit doesn’t have a label, simple as that. If they don’t like that answer then they should stop asking.”

It was quiet then. Awkwardly so, although it was hard to tell if it was mutually awkward, or just for Dave. His stomach dropped at the idea of people asking about his feelings, pushing him to label it, and just what he could label it with. It was nice to be able to just do without thinking with Tavros. It was easy. It was safe.

Dave did not want to have to deal with people trying to understand every little personal aspect of his life, dissecting and labeling it like they had any idea what he was really feeling when he himself did not know.

He heard Tavros shuffling his feet.

“That makes sense. I’ll uh, just tell them that, I guess.”

Dave rested his chin against his arms. He was going to regret it, but the question was there, and it was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“Does it bother you?”

The shuffling stopped abruptly.

“Um. Maybe. Kind of,” Tavros admitted so quietly that Dave could have easily missed it. He did not. “But it would bother me more if you just said something to make me happy, so, I can wait.”

Somehow, that answer hurt worse than any other answer that Dave could have imagined. He rested his face against his palms and muttered curses under his breath.

“Dave?”

“It’s cool.”

“You sure?”

“Yup. Super chill. It’s the Antarctic all up in here.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re lying.”

“Maybe. Who’s to say? Another world mystery to be solved.”

“Dave--”

“You should see how your stupid Animal Crossing town thing is going. There’re probably weeds fucking everywhere. I’ll be down in a bit, and I expect it to be weedless when I get there. I will flip my shit if there is so much as one weed.”

There was a long pause, but when Tavros got to his feet, his footsteps grew quieter and quieter until the door from the roof down into the building closed, presumably behind him. Dave breathed a bit easier, but not much.

Tavros deserved so much for putting up with his shit, but the teenager was still unable to give him anything close to it.

Frankly, the troll deserved better than what Dave could give him, period.

It was enough to make Dave want to throw up.

\--------------------------------------------

“Tavros!”

“Hey, Nepeta!” Tavros greeted, grinning as the small troll raced up to hug him. Equius stood awkwardly in the doorframe.

Dave stood as far away in the living room as he could, watching with disbelief. The last time the two had seen each other, they were ripping each other to shreds, but there they were now, chatting like old friends.

“I’m really glad to see that Dave looks purrfectly fine.”

“Uh, yeah. Once he woke up, he was all healed. It was pretty amazing.”

“That’s good! I’m sorry about that, even if it was his fault for getting in the way.”

“Thanks. I’m sorry for saying Equius deserved to die by being strangled with his guts that had been, you know, torn out while he was still alive.”

“The fuck? When the hell did you say that?” Dave interrupted. Nepeta laughed as Tavros scratched the back of his head.

“After we stopped speaking in English?”

“I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Well, Tavros was purretty mad,” Nepeta said, tugging on Tavros’ hand so that he was looking at her again. “AC forgives the big troll for his mistake, but shakes her finger at him and makes sure he knows that if he does that again, not even AC’s big moirail will stop her from finishing the job!”

That caused Tavros to glance over at said moirail, who was grinding his teeth. “That uh, reminds me. I’m sorry I hurt your moirail, even if she did start it.”

Surprisingly, the grinding slowed and the large troll nodded. “I appreciate your apology and return it for one in regards to any threats I made to your, ah, companion.”

“Am I the only one that finds this cordial exchange of apologies weird considering you guys were practically out to kill each other?”

Tavros gave him a weak smile over his shoulder while the other two trolls considered him curiously. “Well, it is actually kind of normal for us. Maybe not the apologies, but not really staying mad unless it’s really big? If we always held grudges, uh, none of us would like anyone else.”

“It’s common sense.”

“Yeah! AC would hate to lose friends over a fight!”

Dave rolled his eyes. “I’m never going to understand trolls.”

\--------------------------------------------

It was hard at first for Dave to accept that the three trolls had moved on from their all out battle in his apartment like it was just a little scuffle. Admittedly, Tavros and Nepeta did make it clear to one another that if either of them did what had started the fight again, there would be hell to pay. Tavros made sure to speak in their troll language when he likely explained what would happen if anyone put a hand on Dave again. But soon thereafter, Tavros asked if Nepeta wanted to play a game and she eagerly accepted, dragging Equius into it with her.

Dave just watched from the sidelines, unsure if he felt the least bit safe with the two guests. He would have just gone to do something else, but as much as he did not want to be around, he did not want to leave them in his apartment alone either.

Just because Tavros could take them each individually did not mean he could fight against their double-team.

Three hours later, Dave was coming to terms with the fact that when they were not fighting, Equius and Nepeta were just about as harmless as Tavros. Occasionally it would seem like Equius was about to explode, but with a few purred comments, Nepeta could calm him right down.

The whole moiralliance thing still boggled him, but it was starting to make sense from watching them. Despite being a tiny little cat troll and a big aristocratic oaf of a troll, they balanced each other out nicely.

When Tavros asked for what felt like the hundredth time if Dave wanted to join, he finally gave in.

\--------------------------------------------

“Wow! You’ve gotten a lot better at Fiduspawm, Dave!”

“It helped that Tavros stopped treating me like a baby.”

“I still, uh, say I never did that.”

“Shut up and pay attention to the zombies. I think Equius just stumbled upon a witch.”

“Oh Jegus!”

“What in the name of goodness is that?!”

“Haha! But, AC is definitely still going to win. She pawses to plan out her next attack that will bring this game to a bloody ending!”

“You sound way too enthusiastic about that. Even so, the fine specimen that is Dave Strider is going to slip in this move and expertly evade whatever the little cat troll has planned.”

“What—no way!” Nepeta stared at him wide-eyed before pursing her lips. “You’re cheating.”

“No way. His highness Dave Fucking Strider is extremely insulted that you would even suggest such a thing.”

“You have to be,” the girl insisted, moving onto her hands and knees and leaning forward to get far too close to Dave’s face. The teenager arched a brow as she stared him down and sniffed, as if trying to smell his deceit. After a moment, her back relaxed and she sighed. “Wow, you’re actually just getting good at this game!”

“Damn right. My little boy dreams of defeating trolls at their own games are coming true.”

Instead of retaliating though, Nepeta just blinked and stared, but not at Dave’s face. It took him a moment to comprehend that she was looking at his neck.

Dave casually put his hand up to cover the red marks. “You done staring?”

“But what are they?” Nepeta asked, leaning forward and actually nudging at Dave’s hand with her nose, as if that would make him yield to her curiosity. “AC asks that the human purrlease move his hand so that she can inspect the curious spots.”

“Yeah, no.”

“AC asks again, purrleaaaaase?”

“Dave says no fucking way.”

“Then Dave gives AC no choice! She grabs the weak human’s arm away,” Nepeta narrated as she grabbed Dave’s wrist. He made an indignant grunt, but once the hickeys were in view again, he knew it was time to give up. The female troll blinked and turned her head this way and that.

All Dave could think was that thank god Tavros was busy screaming with Equius over Boomers. Tavros’ easily provoked blush would give them away.

“What are they? You did not have them befur.”

“They’re just marks. Not every species has skin that’s thick as hell like what you guys have. Shit happens. We get marks. They go away after a while. Lesson in human biology complete, remember to study for tomorrow’s quiz, now go home.”

“Where did you get them from?”

“None of your business.”

“Look! Another! Whoa, and another,” the girl cooed curiously, tugging at the neckline of Dave’s shirt to peer down it, noticing where more marks spotted his skin. “Really, how do you get these? And whoaaa, what’re those?”

“First, this is not a free show,” Dave stated, plucking his shirt from her fingers and pressing it to his skin again. “And second, like I said. It happens.”

Nepetra pouted. “That’s not a good answer though. I’m so curious! Just tell me and purrhaps I’ll stop.”

“No.”

“Then I’ll guess!”

“No.”

“AC strokes her chin as she carefurly considers the odd marks. They do not appear to be bruises exactly, so not from hitting or squeezing.”

“Nepeta, you are so done right now, it’s not even funny.”

Dave attempted to shove her away, but the troll just shoved back. Once he was flat on his back, she climbed on top of him and planted herself on his chest.

“But there aren’t any punctures from teeth either, so it’s not a bite.”

“Seriously, you need to get off.”

“What else could do that?” Nepeta looked perfectly at ease on her perch, and where most of the time one could say curiosity killed the cat, Dave was tempted to say it was going to kill him.

With a sigh, Dave muttered, “Sucking, ok? They’re from sucking. Now get off.”

The troll girl just blinked at him.

“Sucking? Do humans usually suck on their own skin? Oh, but, it would be impawsible for you to put them on your own neck, wouldn’t it? How did you do it?”

Dave was ready to beat his head right through a wall.

“You didn’t ask who. You asked how I get marks like these. I told you how. Now get off before I purposely choke on my own spit in an attempt to commit suicide.”

“But--”

“Nepeta, _what_ are you doing?” Equius asked incredulously. “That is not decent behavior. You will get off the human boy now.”

“Whoa! Uh, wow, please get off of him, right now.”

Dave silently thanked whoever it was that was looking out for him for stopping the conversation right where it needed to end.

“But--” Nepeta started once more, but then she grew quiet. No pout, no frown. She looked rather contemplative. Her head tilted to one side as she stared at Tavros.

When Nepeta looked down at Dave again, there was a knowing sparkle in her eyes and a wide, sharp smile splitting her face.

“Ohh, AC sees now.”

“Fuck you, no you don’t.”

“Such course language is not appreciated, especially in the presence of my moirail.”

“Mmm, it’s alright, Equius. Dave’s just bashful.”

“Fuck. You.”

“Aww, he’s kind of like a quieter Karkat! So cuuuuute!”

“Nepeta, I’m really sort of confused as to what is going on.”

The girl smiled at Tavros and chirped, “Tav, you should have told me that you and Dave had finally realized your flushed feelings for each other! I’m so happy for you!”

Dave’s head fell back to the floor with an audible crack and Tavros’ face went from grey to shiny new penny in two seconds flat.

\--------------------------------------------

“Whaaaat?”

“Um, yeah. Dave doesn’t really want to put a label on it, so, we don’t.”

“But you guys kiss and stuff, right? So that has to mean that you are matesprits, because there’s nooo way you could have a kismesis.”

“We do, sort of, do some things, but human romance is different? I’ve been watching a bunch of movies for research and, well, they can do stuff like that without being in a relationship. Doing stuff like that can actually lead them into a relationship instead of the other way around?”

“That’s pawsitively ridiculous! Why would you kiss someone you aren’t passionate about?”

“That’s just what humans do?”

“But how do _you_ do it without being flushed for him?”

“Oh. Um. I don’t.”

“But you already said that you kiss him—oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh Tavros.”

“No, it’s really ok! You don’t have to look all sad about it. I mean, I knew it wasn’t going to be like, um, with another troll. It’s weird, but, I dunno. It’s nice. I like living with him, and I like the kissing and cuddling, and uh, this is already more than I had ever expected to maybe get, so I’m happy that I can even have this much.”

“But you deserve more!”

“No, not really. I mean, it’s nice you think so, but I’m really, really happy, and I don’t mind waiting.”

“But how do you know he’s going to come around? What if he doesn’t? Rrr, I’m so mad! This is so infuriating!”

“Whoa, Nepeta, there’s no need for that! Dave just needs time, and I’m ok with that.” The female troll growled, but the fingers running through her hair were calming her. “I know it’s really weird, and sometimes I really wish Dave would make up his mind, but uh, I think he’s kind of scared. But uh, don’t tell him I said that!”

“Oh. Ohh, I get it! So, it’s kind of like taming a scared animal? You’re being careful and letting him get used to it all at his own pace.”

“Wow, I think that would make him even angrier to hear, probably.”

“You’re not denying it.” Nepeta grinned and nuzzled against Tavros’ hand. “AC still doesn’t know how Tavros puts up with it, but she recognizes that Tavros is really, pawsitively in love, and wishes him the best. But if Dave does not hurry up, AC may have to have a talk with him.”

“I’m sure that probably won’t be really necessary. But thanks.”

“Sooo. What’s it like with a human?”

“Oh jegus, um, wow. Are you serious?”

Nepeta giggled and poked the male troll’s burning cheeks.

\--------------------------------------------

“You are telling me that humans can engage in those sorts of activities without being in a romantic relationship?”

“Happens every day. You telling me that there aren’t troll hook ups?”

“Do you mean mechanical hook ups? I don’t see how that is relevant.”

“No. I mean when people meet up and just get it on for fun.”

“Oh. That—that is absolutely obscene and makes no sense whatsoever.”

“No one ever said it wasn’t or did.”

“Is that what you have done here? You have tricked Tavros into ‘hooking up’ with you?”

“What? No. Fuck, no, that’s not it at all. We’re not even fucking.”

“I again ask you contain your crass language.”

“Fuck shit titties.”

“Well. Goodness. Anyway. But you are still just doing these things for fun?”

“No. I’m not. Using people that way isn’t cool.”

Equius furrowed his brows. “Then I do not understand. You’re not doing it for fun, but you refuse to put a label on it. So why are you doing it?”

“Congrats, you just asked the question of the year. If I had an answer, believe me, this would not be a question anymore. Tav and I would either be having the broest of bromances or we would be inviting you to our shitty wedding that no doubt John has already planned out. That question would have never existed.”

“You have feelings but are confused about them.”

“Something like that. Maybe. Why the hell am I telling you again?”

“Because I am a very reliable and knowledgeable high blood who engenders trust and feelings of submission.”

“Nah, I think it has more to do with the fact that you happened to follow me out.” Dave sighed, and almost asked a question, but decided against it.

So instead he ignored any further questions, and only spoke up long enough to inform Equius that he would tell Nepeta if he punched anything out of frustration over Dave’s silence.

\--------------------------------------------

“Hey, look at that, Equius. You get kids. Twin girls even. Somebody’s been busy.”

“I do not see how it makes a difference if my genes have been passed on.”

“Dude, this game is the game of Life for humans. You have to take care of the babies your wife kicks out of her lady vortex.”

“I have to do what?”

“AC is pretty sure she understands! It’s like how animals raise their young!”

“I guess, if you want to compare humanity to animals.”

“Well, uh, technically we’re all kind of just really complicated animals.”

“Stop coddling your human companion. It’s unsightly.”

“Aww, I think it’s purrfectly adorable.”

“You are not the one being trapped with grubs in your – what was this thing?”

“It’s a car.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, here’s your little baby girls, Mary-Kate and Ashley. Watch out for Ashley. She goes a bit crazy in her later years.”

“I will not take these. Give me the blue ones.”

“No way. You got two baby girls, you get two pink things. You will accept your cisgendered baby girls in all their gender stereotypes and you will like them.”

“I do not see what being female has to do with pink.”

“I don’t see why having blue ones would be better.”

“Well, because blue is a superior color.”

“Not in this household. You will take your pink baby girls and you will raise them with your lady wife. End of story.”

“But this is idiotic!”

“Relax, it’s just a game, Equius. Purrhaps later you’ll get to pit them against each other to see which one is stronger!”

“This is true. If I must raise them, I will make sure that they are the strongest pink girls.”

“You gotta get them in your car first.”

“Oh. How?”

“Mmm, oh, like this! Put them in the little holes!”

“Yes. I see now.”

“Uh, Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“I think maybe we should try a game that’s not so human?”

“Nah, this is brilliant. Life with trolls is now my favorite. It’s about time you guys had to deal with human shit.”

“Fiddlesticks!”

“Oops! Dave, could Equius pawsibly have a new car and another Ashley?”

“You have to pay the fine. Cars and babies don’t come free.”

“Dave, you’re kind of having too much, uh, fun with this.”

“Oh hell yes I am.”

\--------------------------------------------

It was when Equius and Nepeta were getting ready to leave that it became clear why they had visited. Equius explained in a straight forward manner that he was considering how it might be worthwhile if their bubbles did not go their separate ways. Nepeta nodded in agreement and added that it would be nice to be able to hang out more often than every few months.

Dave was not so sure he wanted neighbors, but Tavros seemed to be really eager to have friends around. As well, the homes of the other two trolls were beyond Tavros’ house, so it was not as if they were right next door. Obviously it was not just Dave’s choice though, so he shrugged and said if Tavros was cool with it, so was he. As long as they did not get all up in his grill.

It was agreed there would be no grill humping.

And that was how Dave found himself in a bubble with not one, but three trolls.

What was his afterlife coming to?

\--------------------------------------------

“Tav, scoot forward.”

“Uh, ok,” Tavros replied, moving so he sat on the edge of the couch. “Why?”

Dave did not answer verbally. Instead he slipped behind the troll and settled so that Tavros was seated between his thighs with his back to his chest.

It would have gone without a hitch if Dave had not forgotten the difference in height. However, having his nose in Tavros’ back reminded him.

“Alright, I lied. Get on the floor.”

“What?”

“Sit on the floor, back to me, between my knees. That specific enough?”

“You still haven’t said why,” Tavros pointed out as he did as told. Some movie was on – looked like some sort of romcom, which the troll had been partial to lately – but Dave did not pay it any mind.

Once Tavros was settled, Dave took a horn in each hand and used them to tilt Tavros’ head to one side, leaving the side of his neck exposed and practically begging for the onslaught that Dave had planned. The troll seemed to be completely innocent to what was about to befall his skin as he stammered out questions, mentioning that this position was not the most comfortable, and perhaps Dave could let go—

Dave leaned down until he could press an open-mouthed kiss right in the middle of Tavros’ neck. In turn, the troll’s words were cut short with a breathy “Oh.”

“I can’t get you to stop giving me hickeys,” Dave explained flatly against Tavros’ skin, “but I’m gonna return the favor tenfold, even if I have to suck and bite your neck for the next couple of hours to do it. Fucking troll skin.”

“It’s not really that thick.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Dave typically avoided biting and scratching, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He bit down as hard as he dared, making little indents in Tavros’ skin to make it easier to find and stay on the one spot. These efforts needed to be focused.

Not to mention the strangled groan in response was hot as sin.

Tavros squirmed, his hands not certain what do and ultimately settling for fisting against the carpet. Despite his earlier protests, he moved his head further to the side, biting back gasps and moans as Dave alternated between kissing, sucking, and scraping his teeth against the single area of his skin.

What would probably taken a troll two seconds of chomping down and piercing skin took Dave a good ten minutes with his human mouth, teeth, and unwillingness to break skin. Admittedly, to make any sort of mark had only taken him a few minutes, but he did not particularly want to stop lavishing the attention on Tavros. It helped anyway since when it came to payback hickeys, the bigger, the better. And indeed, when Dave finally pulled away with a few feather-soft kisses, he was met with a huge, bright orange-brown hickey that stood out against the grey around it perfectly.

That mark was not going anywhere soon.

“Damn, I’m good,” Dave said with a grin, running his thumb around the circumference of the mark. Tavros lifted a hand up to press his fingers to the spot as if expecting to feel it.

“Uh, is there really something thing there now?”

“Go check it out in the bathroom. It’s pretty sick.”

Tavros seemed to consider it for a moment. When he got up though, it was simply to turn and push Dave back against the couch. The teenager did not have time to protest before the troll was mouthing at his neck.

“The hell?”

“Mmm, I want to return the favor?”

“Oh, _fuck_ , you bastard. I did it as payback for the hickeys you gave me before – _teeth_.”

“You used yours on me though.”

“Mine aren’t razors. And again, I did it as payback, so this is an unprovoked attack on my neck.” Dave sucked in a breath when Tavros licked right under his ear.

“Maybe then you should, if you want, retaliate?”

“Oh you sneaky devil. If it’s more hickeys you want, it is more hickeys you’ll get.”

It did not matter that Tavros had the upper hand. Dave liked to think of his easily marked skin was a handicap that just evened the playing field. Besides, the troll’s horns made it easy to grab and hold Tavros where the teenager needed him. The things were incredibly helpful.

Dave was pretty sure he’d have to drag out his ironic gangster bandana to wear around his neck for the next two weeks, but it was worth the three bright hickeys that Tavros was unable to hide.

\--------------------------------------------

“Oh shit!”

“You ok?”

“Dave, these are really, really obvious!”

“No shit. That’s what hickeys are. Obvious.”

“But I mean, uh, I’ve never had something like this before, and I don’t know, it’s embarrassing.”

“Obvious and embarrassing. Yup. Pretty sure that’s the definition of hickeys.”

“People will see them!”

“Yeah, they will.”

“They’ll know how they got there and stuff!”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“They’ll know that you, uh, you know--”

“Sucked on your neck while you squirmed and panted like a bitch? Yup.”

“ _Dave!_ ”

“Dude, welcome to my life for the last few weeks. You should have thought it through before practically begging me to give you more of my magical hickeys. They are there to stay at this point, reminding you and everyone looking at them that I own you.”

There was an awkward pause in the conversation. Tavros slipped out of the bathroom to stare wide-eyed at Dave who was having a hard time keeping his blood from flooding his face.

“Owned. I meant owned. Like, I owned you. In our hickey fight. I owned you.”

“That’s not what you said though.”

“Shut your smug mouth.”

Tavros put a hand to his neck and grinned. “Maybe I don’t really mind them so much anymore.”

Dave had to look away, using the title screen to the movie that had ended ages ago as something to concentrate on so that he would not notice his face growing warm.

“Whatever. I’m not giving you a scarf to cover them up with, so whatever helps you get through your day.”

“Does that mean I own you too?”

Dave face found its way into his hands. It was hot to the touch.

“Dude, my white guilt can’t even come close to being able to handle any form of slavery in this household, even if it’s of the mutual, consensual type.”

“What?”

“Exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update here. I still have a few more chapters worth to post here, but once I get done with that, you'll have to wait.


	16. In which Dave gets something in his eye and Tavros finally gets a response.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dave gets something in his eye and Tavros finally gets a response.

“I’m so glad I finally found you! I mean, I like all the other Daves too, but John and Rose always talk about you behind Dave’s back. Uh, alpha Dave anyway. Everyone figures he doesn’t need to know about what his dead selves are doing.”

“Jade, before you continue, let me guess. Everyone is talking about me because of Tav.”

“Well, yeah. But also because you’re older than all the other Dave’s. And, I dunno, they say you’re more relaxed and open about stuff.”

“So basically I’m cooler than alpha Dave.”

“I would never say that! All the Daves are so cool. Buuut, I will admit that right now, Dave is a lot more uptight than usual.”

“Course he is. I know me, and he’s no doubt got a bunch of shit on the brain because of all the shit that is going down. We’re talking mountains of it, and half of the mountains are him over thinking what’s there and making it worse. He’s gotta lock up tight like a high tech safe to keep people from seeing all that shit.”

“Oh. Wow. That’s kind of really sad.”

“It’s tough being Dave. It’s tough and nobody understands, excluding the dozen or so dead Daves floating around.”

“But you’re not uptight.”

“Depends on the topic.”

“Like if I asked about you and Tav cuddling when I showed up?”

“Classified. And don’t go telling John and Rose.”

“I don’t like secrets much, but I’ll keep this between us. But why?”

“I’ve got enough shit mountains on the brain about that without them jumping in and giving me advice. I have enough of it from Eq and Nep. Don’t get me started on Aradia’s vague words of wisdom.”

“Haha, ok, I get it. But you know I have to throw in my two bits, right?”

“Yeah, I know. Lay it on me. Maybe some human advice from a thirteen year old will help more than the shitty troll stuff.”

“Well, you guys pretty much looked like a couple to me. Before you noticed me, he said something and you kind of laughed, and you looked really happy.”

“Just for the record, ironic noogies do not count as cuddling.”

“Dave, when you give noogies, you don’t usually do it nose to nose and smiling.”

“Is this advice or just you recounting your creepy voyeurism?”

“I’m getting there, so hush! What I mean is, you said you over think things a lot, and I think you’re doing it here.”

“No shit.”

“Yep! Because a lot of people get really caught up in the intangible stuff, right? But maybe you should just look at what’s in front of you. Tavros makes you happy, you obviously like to cuddle with him, and living with him, and just, things like that. Don’t complicate it so much!”

“Jade, just noticing that he makes me laugh isn’t going to help me figure out what my feelings are.”

“It might if you notice the other things too and you let them fit together like a puzzle.”

“Look who’s making it complicated.”

“You’re making me make it complicated!”

“Just to recap, are you telling me to stop thinking about it?”

“Kind of, yeah.”

“Asking the impossible.”

“I believe in you! If any Dave can do it right now, it’s you.”

“I am so telling alpha Dave that all his friends are in my fanclub. I cannot wait for his sleeping ass to show up here.”

“Nooo, you can’t!”

“Oh, it’s happening. He’d do the same if he was me. Oh wait. He is.”

“You’re still a jerk, even now when you’re all old and relaxed.”

“It’s so hard to get out of bed with these bones that aren’t even fifteen years old. All the creaking. Almost as creaky as my voice when it cracks.”

“You’re voice isn’t cracking!”

“And thank god for that. Watch out when Dave goes through that. I had to deal with it for a couple days and fuck, I clammed up pretty tight until these vocal chords learned to behave themselves.”

Jade giggled and shook her head in amusement as she settled on the couch.

“How does Tavros keep up with you? You’re almost slipperier than Dave.”

“He’s had to put up with me for a while now. You’re welcome to ask him, if you want. He could probably give a lesson. Living With Cool Kids 101 with Tavros Nitram. I should see if Bro has that ironic suit jacket with the elbow pads.”

“I think that I’ll pass this time. It might be awkward since you guys are still figuring out your deal.”

“Yeah, see, those are two things that when put together don’t make sense at all.”

“Well, Tavros might have had flushed feelings for me for a short while?”

“No way.”

“It was so awkward!”

“He must not have a personal preference at all. Wow. Unless his preference is for humans.”

“It would be weird for a troll to have a preference for humans though, wouldn’t it?”

“Tell that to his nipple fetish.”

“Whoooooooooa, what?”

“Yeah, sorry, forgot you’re a bit young for that. Wanna watch some movies till you wake up?”

\--------------------------------------

Watching god awful movies with teenagers hooking up left and right had always made Dave roll his eyes – mostly because Bro had rolled his eyes and that convinced Dave that it had to be a ridiculous idea – but now it was almost funny. There he sat with his alien roommate who he had been, for lack of a label, making out with for weeks, but they had definitely never gone and made passionate love. Or even fucked. Nothing close, if he was honest.

But they were pushing the envelope.

Pants still stayed on. On a few occasions Dave’s pants were in fact his boxers, but in troll terms they were still pants, so he was the only one vaguely scandalized when Tavros would start something while he was in his underwear. But shirts were more often than not tossed aside. Bodies were often flush up against each other. It would be a flat out lie to say that there was not the occasional dry humping when things got particularly steamy.

It always stopped there though. Sometimes just naturally, but other times because Tavros would tense up and start babbling out excuses for other things that they should consider doing that did not involve Dave’s thigh pressing against his crotch. Dave could take a hint, especially when it was practically flung in his face like a bucket of ice cold cockblock. He would back off and end things on a softer note before Tavros fled back to his own house for a while.

They both knew what they did after those episodes in the privacy of their own rooms with their own hands, but it was never discussed.

Excluding times when Dave would make jokes about Tavros getting off to him, of course. He hardly counted those though considering he had done that since they had first met. It would be weird to stop now just because the troll actually was.

Although Dave would admit that Tavros’ reactions were more frantically embarrassed than ever before.

The fact that Dave was not getting off with Tavros did not bother him much when it came to his own needs. The teenager had not known anything beyond his hand, so it was not like he was being denied something he knew from experience was better. Dave could assume it was better considering the human obsession with it, but his hand worked just fine, as it always had. Jizzing was jizzing. Hell, having something to get him up and going while at the same time giving new material to get off to made it easier than before.

What drove Dave mad was how in that split second, before Tavros’ mind could catch up with his actions, he would arch up into the pressure and make that stammered, desperate gasp that sent Dave’s blood racing. In that split second, all Dave could think about was how badly he wanted to give Tavros more. He wanted to drag more delicious sounds from his lips. He wanted to make Tavros’ toes curl and his back arch and push him over the edge.

Dave had always enjoyed riling Tavros up, but the longing he had to reduce the troll to a writhing mess of emotions and sex under his hands was incomparable. He wanted Tavros to feel so damn good and he wanted to be the one to be the one to do it.

Every time Dave touched the surface though, the chance to do so was torn away from him with awkward resistance.

It was not surprising. Tavros had asked enough questions during awful movies about dumbasses trying to get laid -- Dave only got the first one for the pie fucking scene, but the rest soon found their way into his collection. It was easy to figure out that their definitions of “all the way” differed. For trolls, it seemed that any way of getting off with a partner was all the way. If there were orgasms, troll sex was had. It did not matter if it was in troll asses, troll vaginas, troll mouths or troll hands. It could be troll dry humping and if they jizzed, there it was. They were all just different ways of doing the same thing for trolls.

It made sense and Dave was willing to respect it. But it also meant that he was not going to get Tavros off until the troll was ready to do what he felt was all the way.

“Fuck.”

“What?”

“Don’t ask. I’m gonna go take a cold shower.”

“Why? The movie isn’t over and it’s not really hot at all today.”

“Yeah, see, neither of those things are why I need a cold shower. So I’m still going.”

“What?”

“If I said I want to fuck you into the couch and the only cure other than said fucking is the icy chill of a cold shower upon my engorged manhood, would you stop asking questions?”

Tavros’ face looked ready to explode from how quickly he flushed copper.

“That’s what I thought.”

\--------------------------------------

“Uh, Dave? I think Terezi is--”

“Yup. Taking note of the exact texture of that puppet’s plush rump. It’s too bad that Bro doesn’t have his sites anymore. This shit would go viral.”

“Maybe you should say something?”

“Nah. Let her lick to her heart’s content. It’s not often the guy gets a good rimjob.”

“What?”

“I’ll explain to you someday. Maybe when you’re the smuppet to my Terezi.”

The elbow that Tavros dug into Dave’s side was not the least bit kind. But Dave did not mind since the troll was also blushing something fierce.

“What if she heard you?”

“Like she gives a shit. Besides, she was here for all of two seconds and already she was sniffing my neck. We’re not really that subtle. I mean honestly, _John_ noticed. It’s time we just gave up and put a sign on the door that says ‘yeah, we’re probably necking on the couch, knock first unless you want a free show.’”

“But uh, we’re not doing _that_.”

“No way, really? Me and my dick had not noticed that we weren’t having sex. Don’t tell me we’re not having it right now. I don’t think my maiden heart could take it.”

“ _Dave_.”

“Everything I thought was real has been crushed! However shall I live knowing this totally brand new information I didn’t know before!”

Tavros watched Dave for a moment, and after a moment of silence that was only broken by the occasional shuffle of Terezi making her way into the kitchen and cackling, he leaned in close.

“Daaave, I hear you’re, uh, hiding candies from me.”

“Oh fuck you,” Dave grumbled, crossing his arms and looking away. He steeled his face against any desire to smile or, god forbid, laugh. “You’re not getting me this time. None of that laughing shit today. Not a single smile.”

“Aw, but your teeth, umm, smell like vanilla, and taste even better.”

“Terezi has never tasted my teeth. Your impression is invalid.”

Tavros glanced to make sure that Terezi was out of sight before leaning on Dave’s shoulder and picking at his shades. “The teeth don’t really matter. They’re, uh, silly and blunt. Let me see the pink candies.”

“No way, let go.”

“Hehehe.”

“Oh fuck you are too good at that.”

Dave bit the inside of his cheek to stave off the smile that was pulling at the corners of his lips. A snort almost broke loose when Tavros waggled his tongue at him.

“Just one taste, coolkid? Come on, don’t be such a baby.”

“That is so fucking disgusting. Get your tongue away from my eye, you creep.”

“But they’re, you know, such a sugary sweet pink color! I bet they taste suuuper sweet, hehe.”

A snicker slipped.

“Alright, fine, you win, now get that thing out of here--”

“Do you really have pink eyes, Dave?”

Dave and Tavros both jumped, but Dave had the misfortune to be trapped by the claws that Terezi had gripping his arm. “Holy shit! The hell, Terezi?”

“Whoa, uh, did you hear all that?”

“That is a seriously creepy smile, just by the way. I just need you to back up and Christ, give those back--”

“Dave, wait, don’t lean that way!”

“What--?”

There was a loud slurp.

“Mm, they are like pink candies! Not as good as the red would have been, but that’s ok. Can’t be perfect, Mr. Coolkid.”

Dave could only see Tavros out the one eye that was still open, but the troll looked rather horrified. However, it was nothing compared to the raging disgust running through the teenager.

“Terezi.”

“Yes?”

“You just fucking licked my eyeball.”

“Yes, I did.” Her smile was all teeth. “And complimented the taste.”

“Pretty sure I’m just gonna go vomit, and then pour bleach on my eye, and then vomit some more. That ok by everyone here?”

“That doesn’t sound--”

“Overruled.”

“Dave, you’re not authorized as a judge!”

“Fine. Terezi, the verdict?”

“No bleach, but I can hardly control your bodily needs. They are hardly under my jurisdiction.”

“Cool. I’m gonna go take care of that now.”

\--------------------------------------

“Uh, Terezi? That was kind of weird.”

“Maybe. But at least I was polite enough to not lick the delicious smelling marks you left on him. That’s a taste you get to keep all to yourself!”

“Thanks?”

“But in exchange you have to describe the things that Nepeta says he has on his chest.”

“Whoa. How does she even, you know, know about those?”

“Secret. Hehehe.”

“But why would she even tell you and, I mean, wow, this is embarrassing.”

“Have I ever told you that your blush smells like brownies? Mm, with a hint of that sticky caramel stuff.”

“Brownies?”

“It’s a human thing. You should have Dave make some for you.”

“Oh. Is that a good thing?”

“Really good.”

“Wow, could you maybe not smile at me like that and—oh god, no licking!”

 --------------------------------------

Kissing in bed was always the most dangerous, at least for Dave. While for Tavros it was just somewhere to sleep, Dave had grown up knowing the many uses of the bed, and making out in one could bring up some that were edging towards perverse.

Tavros was murmuring his name against his lips for the umpteenth time, and it was then that Dave snapped. Too much skin touching and hands grasping and the way Tavros said his name -- the teenager pressed the troll back against the bed, kissed him silly, ran his palms along his neck and collarbone and across his shoulders. In turn, Tavros’ hands were all over his back, touching and grasping and pulling closer. Hips touched and neither of them moved away.

Dave slipped his knee between Tavros’ and moved so that his thigh was tight against the troll’s bone bulge. There was the gasp, the scrambling of blunt fingernails into Dave’s back, and the twitch of hips up against his advance.

And then there was the strangled, anxious, “Dave, um, maybe we shouldn’t--”

This time, Dave did not pull away. He nipped at Tavros’ lips while he continued to press his leg down. With each grind, Tavros’ voice became breathier and more desperate as he tried to get Dave’s attention, stammering his name and scrambled sentences that made less and less sense while his body shifted between trying to pull away and arching up for more.

Soon, all that managed to make its way out of Tavros’ mouth was Dave’s name.

“Dave! Dave Dave Dave, wait, Dave – _Dave_!”

Dave had not been prepared for Tavros shoving and rolling until he had the teenager pinned against the bed. The troll was panting harshly, and took a moment to close his eyes and breathe deeply before he could speak. “Dave, shit, just wait, ok?”

Dave’s head hit the pillow and his eyes squeezed shut. Dave could not do anything since Tavros’ knees were between his legs, disallowing either to make a move for his crotch. His hands sure could not reach with how his shoulders were being shoved against the mattress. With his ability to act taken away, rationality was finally slipping back in. Dave swallowed and tried to slow his breathing as he scrambled to get his emotions back together.

“Yeah, sorry. Fuck. Lost it for a second. Sorry. Shit, really sorry. That wasn’t cool at all. Look, just tell me to stop, ok? Stop is a really good way of getting my attention.”

There was warm breath against Dave’s mouth as Tavros’ forehead rested against his. The troll was still panting, flushed, and no doubt looking more fuckable than anyone should be allowed to. Dave kept his eyes closed.

“But it’s not that I really want you to stop? It’s not that I don’t, you know, want to. I--” Tavros took a shuddering breath. “I do. I really do.”

Dave dug his fingers into the bed sheets to keep them from reaching out.

“That is not helping with the self-control at all.”

“Uh, sorry. But it’s true?”

“Then why the fuck am I not getting you off right now?”

“Because, I -- I can’t really do that with you yet.”

“ _Why_?”

“Because,” Tavros started, shifting his hold, and when Dave opened his eyes and made eye contact with him, he swallowed hard. “Dave, I can’t without definitely knowing—I don’t want it to just be, maybe, like kissing is, where it’s just something we do. Definitely can’t if it’s just about, uh, getting laid or whatever you guys call it.”

Dave could not help the incredulous arch of his brow.

“You seriously think I’m just out to get off.”

“Well, I dunno, maybe? I mean, all those movies--”

“About douchebags.”

“So that’s not normal?”

“Normal for douchebags who think they’re too good for their own hands. Not for everyone else.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I know I’m a douche sometimes, but not that kind of douche.”

“Oh. But how am I supposed to know? How could I know that it wasn’t really normal for humans to just do those sorts of things just because?”

“Tav, what the hell made you think I was doing that just because?”

“But you sort of do everything else you do with me just because, right?”

“What—no. Fuck, do you see me macking on everyone who sits on my couch? You see anyone else walking around with fucking billboards on their necks that scream ‘Dave Motherfucking Strider was here’? You see any hickeys that you didn’t make that scream, ‘Uhh, Tavros Nitram was here too, I guess.’”

“No, but--”

“Tavros, I’m not just messing around with anyone I can. Just you.”

“I know! I know, but, Dave, it’s really hard to do this, ok?”

“Do _what_?” Dave tried to sit up, to move, to do anything at all, but Tavros kept him flat against the bed. The frustration was nearly tangible. “Tavros, just tell me what you fucking want from me. How do I convince you I’m not just using you for sexual favors or whatever shit you’ve made up in your head?”

“I don’t think you are!”

“Then why are you acting like this is all just a casual fling for me and I don’t give a shit?”

“Because I don’t know how you feel!” Tavros was trembling and when he was not speaking, he was gnawing on his lip, obviously fighting built up frustration. “I’m, uh, really trying to be patient, because I know you’re trying to figure it all out. But it’s so hard not knowing how you feel when I have all these feelings for you, and we sort of act like we’re together, and people definitely think we’re together, and maybe the only reason we’re not is because you don’t ever say a word other than to say you don’t want to label this! How am I supposed to know if you have any feelings for me when you won’t talk about what is going on?”

There was no immediate response. Dave laid there to absorb the feelings that had been laid out for him. Slowly but surely, the shock passed and guilt settled in its place. The guilt was pretty unrelenting, building off all his previous guilt to create a whole new ball of horrific guilt. He lifted his hands up to carefully cradle Tavros’ face and run his thumbs under his eyes. “Sorry. I guess I mangled my meaning when I said no labels.”

“What?”

“Just because I don’t know what the call them doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings.”

Tavros stared at him, and Dave knew that the troll was going to see how pink his face was getting. But he could not do this anymore, especially not to Tavros.

“Dave?”

“I have feelings for you.”

It had to be the least romantic line given in the least romantic way. Dave was pretty sure he had just delivered the worst confession ever, and that knowledge was adding to the knowledge that he had just confessed, turning his blushing problem into a serious situation. At this rate, he was going to be red in the face for life.

But Dave was thinking that might be ok since now Tavros did not look sad anymore. Although, it was possible that Tavros’ eyebrows would forever be stuck halfway up his forehead.

“What?”

“Feelings. I have them. For you.”

“Feelings?”

“Yeah.”

“You have feelings for me?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

Tavros smiled and it lifted a huge weight off Dave’s heart.

“Can I, uh, ask you what sort of feelings?”

“Jesus, I dunno. Good ones?” Dave turned his head to look at the wall. “Like the ones I get when you’re looking at me like that.”

“Really? This gives you feelings?”

“Yeah.”

Tavros pressed his lips to Dave’s cheek in a butterfly kiss. “And that?”

“A few.”

“If I said I’m flushed for you?”

Dave was surprised by how his chest swelled and his face burned. Thankfully he did not have to say a word as Tavros coaxed him into facing him again to kiss him fully.

Kissing was easy. Kissing was something that Dave excelled at. Kissing was not embarrassing.

“You uh, you really do have feelings for me.”

“No shit, really? It’s not like I just said I did.”

“Right. Sorry, I’m just kind of really excited to hear that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. Like, a lot.”

“Then what if I said I get feelings that make me want to kiss you until you’re praying to whatever troll gods you have for oxygen, and for no reason at all in this universe, but just because I want to bestow a kiss upon your lips?”

Tavros’ face turned a deep orange-brown. “Uhh, wow. Wow. Really?”

“Yeah. On a pretty regular basis. Couple times a day probably.” Dave grinned at how Tavros squirmed. “Sometimes I get a feeling that you get off on feelings.”

The stammering and snickering that followed was interlaced with kisses and caresses. At one point, Tavros asked quietly if Dave wanted to go back to what they were doing before, but the teenager shrugged. Neither of them was really feeling it anymore, considering the sexy vibe was gone and replaced with gooey hearts for everyone. They would find themselves in the same position again, and when they did, they could finally do it without the drama.

But they were both feeling more like cuddling, and since it was a big feelings party, it seemed like the proper thing to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long to update here. I'll upload all I have done and posted on tumblr, but then you're stuck with everyone else waiting for the next chapter. Sorry!!


	17. In which young men have no patience and a label is finally given

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which young men have no patience and a label is finally given

Whereas before the two had normally taken their time warming up to new phases in their relationship, Dave did not imagine this time they would be slow at all. They had done the waiting. They had done the dancing around it. They had feelings and they had hormones.

After a nap and an hour or two of dropping beats, Dave dropped Tavros back onto his bed. He was proud of himself for making it that long.

Tavros had pretty much been asking for it with how he had been peppering the back of Dave’s neck with kisses when it was his turn to work the turntables.

“Just couldn’t wait, could you?”

“Uh, no, not really,” Tavros admitted with a goofy smile. “I tried but it sort of didn’t work, since you know, I can’t stop thinking about your feelings.”

“It always comes back to feelings for you. You must have a kink for feelings. Nipples and feelings. Fuck, I am writing that song.”

“Wow, no, please don’t.”

“Oh, it’s happening, and you will like it.”

“It sounds like it would be really bad and embarrassing for me.”

“Damn right,” Dave stated as he slipped his hands under the troll’s shirt. The skin was thick but damn if it did not feel good under his fingers. “I’ll make sure to put a bridge in there somewhere where it’s just me saying I have feelings on a loop, and it will be so unromantic that little girls everywhere will cry as their own dreams are crushed by the overwhelming wave of anti-romance that will roll across the lands.”

There was no immediate response as Tavros’ hands dragged Dave down for a slow kiss.

“I think it was, uh, pretty romantic.”

“You have terrible taste – _fuck, you bastard_ ,” Dave gritted as Tavros captured his bottom lip between sharp fangs. The troll grinned at him, biting down just enough to dig in without piecing the skin. When he released the teenager’s lip, his tongue was there to salve over it, unperturbed by Dave nipping at it in revenge.

“Maybe you have bad taste too.”

Dave moved to mouth at Tavros’ neck, making sure to keep those damn teeth as far away from his skin as possible, as he said, “Oh, you better fucking believe I have bad taste. It’s horrendous the shit I enjoy. Fuck the ironic police, but there is nothing but genuine lust for all things fucked and shitty.”

“Are you saying that, you know, ironically?”

“The layers of irony would be too complicated to explain right now. I’d rather skip to the part where I start looping ‘I have feelings for you’ in a breathy voice while you get off to it. If I may be so bold as to also put forward the proposal to shove my hand down your pants, I would be much obliged if you said yes, Dave, handle my troll meat like I have wanted you to since I first saw your sweet red font on my computer screen--”

“Dave.”

“Yeah?”

“If it’s not a problem, maybe you should stop talking and actually do it?”

“You have no patience.” However, he was more than happy to press his hips down to meet Tavros’ and appreciate the gasp and twitch up against him. There was more to say, but Tavros pulled him down for another lip lock.

There was no pulling away this time. No stammered excuses. Nothing but eager bodies pressed close.

Of all the things that were happening low in Dave’s gut, the one that had never been there before were the butterflies.

Tavros’ hands were shaking against Dave’s back and he was worrying at his lips when they were not kissing.

“Hey, you ok?”

“Uh, yeah. Definitely. Maybe.”

“You’re nervous.”

“Kind of,” Tavros admitted, his face flushed from embarrassment as well as arousal. His fingers curled against Dave’s back. “I mean, I’ve never really done this before, so it’s ok to be, right?”

Dave nuzzled against his neck and slowly dragged his palms down the troll’s sides. “Yeah. You didn’t hear this from me, but I am too.”

“What? You’re just saying that to be nice.”

“Nah. Why else do you think I’m running my mouth like a Spanish football sportscaster?”

“Are you really being honest?”

“Yeah.”

Tavros bucked up and Dave hissed out a curse before returning the favor.

“M-maybe you should talk then, if uh, it makes you feel better,” Tavros stammered out, his breath coming faster than before.

“Give me something that’ll make you feel less nervous.”

It was as Dave’s fingers traced the waist of Tavros’ pants and barely dipped down beneath the fabric that the troll finally managed to say, “Oh Jegus, ah, what you said before that you would say.”

How the troll managed to find the one thing that could make Dave flush was beyond him, but the teenager moved his lips to brush against Tavros’ ear. As long as he could not see Dave’s face, it was alright.

“You mean how I, Dave Fucking Strider, have feelings for you?”

The shuddering that Tavros did was not from nerves and that was answer enough.

“You should know that this could take longer than you’re going to last. There’re a lot of feelings here. I’d almost say all of the feelings. It’s a fucking feeling fiesta.”

Troll pants were a pain in the ass to figure out. Dave fiddled with the troll fly until he was ready to just rip it apart.

“And right now there are some pretty frustrated feelings over how your pants refuse to let me get inside them. There are a lot of feelings about wanting to get in there right now and send you straight to seventh heaven, and these pants are not conducive to the goals of those feelings.” Tavros was snickering as he removed his hands from Dave’s back to take care of his pants.

“They’re not, uh, that complicated.”

“That’s what girls say about bras, and yet they continue to befuddle mankind.”

“Bras?”

“I’m currently getting the feeling that bras do not matter right now since there are more important things to do. Specifically, this.” Dave lifted his head so that he could watch Tavros as his hand slipped into the now opened pants.

Mouth open, head tilted back, gasping Dave’s name—

It was perfect.

As he got better acquainted with little Tavros though, Dave could not help blinking and glancing down at the troll’s crotch. “Ok, holy shit, that is a really big feeling right there.”

“D-Dave!” Tavros practically squawked, scrambling to put his hands on Dave’s cheeks and pull his gaze back up. “You don’t have to stare— _Dave_!”

A few good strokes and the troll was a shivering mess who could hardly do more than gasp out Dave’s name between whines and pants. Tavros seemed to have lost all ability to be nervous or hesitant as he shameless pressed up into Dave’s hand. The troll’s fingers were on the mission of touching every inch of Dave that they could reach -- threading through his hair, down his neck to his back, across shoulders and down arms. He tried to return the favor, but that was when Dave fought the hands off.

“Not yet. I get to have my fun first.”

“B-but, you’re not--”

“I want to get you off a lot more than I want to get off, so shut up and enjoy the ride, babe.”

If Tavros tried to ask just what a babe was, or express some sort of reaction to the fact that Dave was so intent on getting him to climax, he never managed to as Dave kicked the pace up a dozen or so notches. All that was coming out of Tavros’ mouth from that point on was Dave’s name and sweet sounds of pleasure and need. At times, his face would contort into what should have been, by all measures, awkward expressions – but if anything, Dave found them adorable. Everything about Tavros was adorable, if Dave was to be honest. He was big and goofy and genuine and sexy as hell and he made the best noises and he was burning hot in his hand and—

And he was arching off the bed with a choked utterance of Dave on his lips.

Dave watched Tavros move through the waves of pleasure, panting and kneading his fingers into the muscles of the teenager’s arms. Once the troll was laying out flat, catching his breath, and no longer taking up all of Dave’s attention, he could take the time to note the state of things.

“Jesus H Christ. How did you even have that much jizz in your body? Fuck, sorry, not super romantic but seriously. Shit. Don’t expect me to kick out that much. It’s supposed to be that color, right? Tav? You still with me?”

Tavros blinked at Dave slowly before reaching up and dragging him down. Dave found himself more or less captured in the troll’s embrace, with his mouth claimed in a frantic, sloppy way while arms held him like a vice grip. There was no way to stop his reaction of trying to pull away because this was sudden and desperate and he was not in control in any way, shape, or form. What little hope Dave had for escape was lost when the world started spinning and he found himself pinned against the mattress with a handsy troll touching and grasping and kissing and licking and _biting_ —

“Fuck, teeth, Tav, _teeth_ , watch the fucking teeth!” Dave managed, wincing at how high his voice was getting. It seemed to get through as the biting ceased, but it was only replaced with tongue everywhere. There was no room to correct Tavros’ lack of finesse though as warm hands squirmed between them and practically ruined Dave’s zipper in the process of getting it open and shoving his jeans down enough to free his long ignored erection. Dave took in a sharp intake of breath, thrust his hips up into the almost too tight grip, and held on for dear life.

Everything was too much. Too much skin touching and moving against him, too much weight pressed on him, pinning him down, taking too much control from him; the hand on him was too enthusiastic, too tight, too hot; there was too much tongue in his mouth and down his neck and along his ears and despite his words too much of teeth grazing and scratching due to too much excitement and desire to touch and hold and bring Dave to the edge—

Dave’s fingers dug into Tavros’ back as he cursed and bit back gasps and pants. It felt overwhelming and feverish and something akin to falling head-over-heels and it was _amazing_.

Tavros kissed his ear and breathed his name and Dave’s world went white.

 -------------------------------

“Dave? Are you alright?”

“Mmm, yup. Managed to survive the avalanche of Tavros, even without a word of warning.”

“Oh, uh, sorry? I guess I got sort of excited.”

“You think?”

“Maybe a bit.”

Dave shrugged and shifted so that his arms draped over Tavros’ shoulders, holding him close as the teenager’s racing heart slowed. “Whatever. Nothing to be sorry about.”

“Should I get off? I feel like I’m maybe crushing you.”

“Nope, you’re fine.”

“You’re not too hot?”

“Oh, I am. It’s hot as hell and everything is pretty sticky and nasty.”

“Shit, I should get off then, and you know, get some towels or something.”

Dave’s hold tightened. “Sorry, but did I say that you were allowed to fix anything I just described?”

“But it sounds pretty uncomfortable and I don’t want you to be--”

“I’m fine, so cool your jets and just lay here, alright?”

“Ok.” Tavros wiggled a bit, and while Dave could not see his face since the teenager’s was currently pressed into the troll’s neck, it was clear that Tavros was still confused. “Are you sure you’re ok? I wasn’t bad, was I? You, uh, didn’t really produce much material.”

“You didn’t hear a word I said after you jizzed all over everything, did you?”

“What?”

“Humans don’t cum that much. I’d be tempted to say you got a pretty good load out of me. Now stop worrying.”

“That’s really a lot for you?”

“Tav. Just shut up and let me cling to you like a sap enjoying his first afterglow, alright?”

“Oh. Oh wow.”

Dave simply shrugged. Pretty quick, Tavros’ arms were sneaking under him and kisses rained down on the top of his head.

“Ok, too much.”

“Mmm, nope!”

“Fuck, I brought out your touchy side. Should have let you just blabber at me for a while longer.”

“Liar. You definitely like this.”

“Maybe. Not making any guarantees. Also, since we’re talking during the afterglow anyway, you know I’m going to have to do a full-bore scientific investigation of your monster alien dick later, right?”

“Um, that’s going to be kind of embarrassing.”

“Hell yes it will be, and I will enjoy every second of it.”

“Can I look at your human bulge then? You know, uh, in return?”

“Sounds like a plan. Now shut up and get back to petting and kissing. The diva needs constant attention, you know.”

“Diva?”

“Kiss me, dumbass.”

\-------------------------------

“Tav?”

“Mmm?”

“So you know how earlier I said I didn’t give a shit about how hot and gross I feel? Things have changed. Afterglow is over. Get the fuck off.”

“No. I like this.”

“Oh fuck you.”

\-------------------------------

“Ok, so, this may be getting really kind of gross.”

“Thank you Captain Obvious. Now get off before we get stuck together from your troll cum drying.”

“Um, Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Some of it may have gotten on your sheets.”

“Motherfucker.”

\-------------------------------

“Jesus Christ, Tav, your jizz should be considered the arch-nemesis of all cleaning solutions. Fighting on behalf of the evil cause for the freedom of stains to be assholes and destroy the self-esteem of Mr. Clean.”

“It’s not really this hard to get out of Alternian fabrics. I didn’t know that, you know, human fabrics would retain stains like this!”

“Maybe we should just dye my bedding with your jizz so that we never have to worry about stains again.”

“Oh jegus, no, that would be really, uh, gross.”

“Yeah, well, you tell me, because I don’t know what else to do when the only set of sheets I have has a big, glaring copper stain on them.”

“Maybe just leave it out on the floor while we sleep?”

“What?”

“Uh, you know, like how the blood in the carpet moved to be on the kitchen floor? It’s possible that it could do the same with the stain in your sheet?”

“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of, and that’s saying something considering I’m standing naked in my kitchen trying to wash the troll cum out of my sheets in the sink with every cleaner imaginable.”

“But what else can we try?”

“Touché. If it works, you’re cleaning it up off the kitchen floor.”

“Ok, but, uh, would I have to use the pail?”

“Nah. I mean, I’m gonna tease you since that’s pretty much my duty now, but I’m not that cruel.”

“Duty? As what?”

Dave scrubbed extra hard at his sheets, using it as an excuse to avoid Tavros’ questioning gaze. “As your boyfriend.”

“Oh, wow, wait, you mean like, what Bro said we were but you said we weren’t?”

“A couple of dudes that have feelings for each other and get handsy with each other? Yup. Pretty sure that’s what we are now.”

Their second time was against the kitchen counter, which made cleanup much easier.


	18. In which discussions are had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TBA

“Boyfriends?”

“Yeah. It’s a human thing. Like, they only have the one romance, but uh, within it there are a lot of levels. And we’re now at the boyfriend level.”

“So essentially, you’re matesprits. I congratulate you on finally filling your flushed quadrant.”

“Oh. Thanks, but um, I’m not sure if Dave would call us matesprits yet.”

“But why? You fit the definition. You are both flushed for one another, and ah, well, it certainly seems like your relationship is concupiscent, if you do not mind me speculating about such things.”

“Yeah. Uh. Yeah, we are. But, you know, it’s not like that’s the point! Because that would be weird to talk about and I was going to actually just tell you about how humans have like, levels and stuff so Dave probably won’t want to be matesprits until we reach the highest level since for us matesprits are the only level so they’re kind of the highest level and all that stuff but not about what we do together that is kind of really, really--”

“Tavros. Breathe.”

“Right. Sorry.”

A pause before Equius spoke again.

“Did you wish to discuss the concupiscent aspect of your relationship? It would be rather lewd, but I will listen if you so desire to speak about it.”

“But, really, that would be weird, right?”

“I don’t know what is considered ‘weird’ for lower bloods.”

“It’s ok. If I really want to talk about it, maybe I’ll just uh, talk to Nepeta about it.”

Equius eyed him oddly.

“You realize you would be feeding into her less noble obsessions.”

“Oh. Yeah. Ok, that would be bad. I mean, she already told everyone about Dave’s nipples, and I don’t even know how she knew about them!”

“You are likely safer with me as a confident. It would be beneath me to discuss these sorts of things with other people.”

“Are you sure? I mean, I want to talk to someone about it, but I don’t have to, if it’s not ok with you.”

“I am quite capable of lending you my ear.”

“Really?”

“Yes. This would constitute a friendly gesture, yes?”

“Yes?”

“Then yes.”

“Wow, thanks. Ok, well, uh--”

 -----------------------------------

“What’re Tav and Eq doing out there?”

“I told Equius to try making furiends with you guys!”

“By laying around in the grass and talking like a couple of girls?”

“Everyone needs to have a feelings jam sometimes.”

“Maybe Tav is bragging about the sweet loving he’s getting.”

“Oh. Oh nooooo, if he tells Equius, then he won’t have to talk to anyone else, and Equius won’t tell me any of it! I won’t get to know!”

“Bummer. Gonna have to just get off to your fantasies, I guess.”

“‘Does Dave need to tell anyone?’ AC wonders as she glances over at the human.”

“Yeah, no. No thanks. Dave has no need to talk to catgirls who talk in third person about the adventures his dick has.”

“But talking is important! You can tell me anything!”

“I don’t kiss and tell. I’m a fucking gentleman.”

“You’re no fun.”

“Like I said. Now, get out there and take your moirail home. He’s gonna flood the lawn with all that sweat.”

\-----------------------------------

“Nice hickeys you have there, little dude.”

“Jesus Christ, Bro. Ever heard of knocking?”

“Worried I was going to drop in while you were humping like a couple of dogs in heat?”

“Look, I get it. Yeah, you were right. Can we move on?”

“I don’t get a chance to gloat? That’s mighty cold.”

“Whatever.”

“By the way.”

“Yeah?”

“Nice choice. You have my blessings.”

Dave did not even look over his shoulder at his brother, but he knew that Bro would notice the way his mouth twitched at the corners.

“Damn right I have your blessings. I’d like to see you try to find somebody as fucking perfect for a Strider.”

“What if I found two?”

“What?”

Bro was gone in a flash, and soon after Dave heard Tavros shout in surprise.

Dave decided he did not want to know about Bro’s love life.

\-----------------------------------

“Dave! Dave, come on, I need you to do the vocals.”

“What?”

“We’re going to show Bro what we’re made! You know, if you want to, since I kind of need you to do it with me.”

The Striders made eye contact through their shades and Dave nodded. “Challenge accepted.”

“What? What challenge?”

“We’re gonna make this happen,” Bro agreed, laying back lazily against the futon with an amused grin.

“You mean the, uh, song?”

“All of them, Tavros. We’re doing all of them. You remember how to transition from song to song, right?” Dave glanced over at Tavros to find the troll looking rather unsure of what he had gotten himself into.

“Whoa, are we doing it as a set? Because I mean, I guess I remember, but I haven’t practiced that recently since we don’t do it as, you know, a set, all that often.”

“Make it work.”

“Uhh, yeah, ok! Just give me a second to locate everything.”

“Hey. You guys have a name?” Bro asked coolly as Tavros hung the headphones on his horn next to his ear. The troll muttered to himself about what all the levers and buttons that he did not usually touch did. Dave blinked and then shrugged.

“No point when we don’t usually have an audience.”

“Come up with one. Never know when you’ll get an audience. Don’t want to be stuck with your pants down when you’re faced with hundreds of eager listeners, do you?”

Dave raised a brow over his shades. “Even if you include all the other mes floating around, I don’t think there’s hundreds of us.

Bro did not say anything. He just smirked a knowing smirk.

Dave gave in.

“Fine. We can do a name. Tav.”

“Hm?”

“We need a name.”

“Uh, what for?”

“Our band.”

“Oh. Wow, I don’t really know.”

“It’s got to be simple.” Dave leaned back against the turntables while Tavros started up the beat, twisting and turning the sound to just how they wanted it. “Ironically easy to remember.”

“Um, Tav and Dave?”

“What? No. If we’re going for names as our name, it has to be something like Lawrence and Greg.”

“But neither of us have those names.”

“Exactly.”

 “That’s kind of weird. Maybe we could just combine our names? Like, Tave, or uh, Davros.”

“Nah, makes us sound like the new Brangelina. Not necessarily bad, but not really creative.”

“What’s a Brangelina?”

“The evolution of a Brannifer.”

“That wasn’t very helpful. Maybe we should, you know, figure that out later, since we are ready to go now?”

“Alright, alright.” Dave took a moment to think before saying, “Nah, I got it. It came to me. You ready?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Cool. Bro, you best be ready, because you’re gonna feel pretty ill after hearing our rhymes.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Kick back and enjoy, because we’re Supah White and Grey’n’Horny.”

The show was delayed as Tavros took a long moment to regain the ability to do anything more than sputter and blush. It was agreed that they would come up with a different name at a later date.

 


End file.
